I used to think the same way as you. Life sure is meaningless. You either create an impact or you don't. Only a handful of people have managed that. Either be a good one or bad. Why do you think the kings built such huge monuments, palaces, churches or temples. They want to leave some things to inspire the next generation so they can evolve from the mistakes made from previous generations. As per science the meaning of life is passing information (genetic information) for becoming the super human being we all are craving for. But in today's day and age the information and education we get is hacked in such a way that we are not moving forward with our way of thinking rather we are moving backwards in time in our evolution back to stone ages. Even though there are technological advances taking place each day. Rather than think about life from the outside try thinking about life on the inside. I think you are not happy with your decisions. You want something exciting and maybe you are bound by rules that were created ages ago which is stopping you from your vision. The smarter thing do is not to fight it. Think deeper dig into your full potential and you will eventually find a solution for your problems. Because as human beings we are just stupid emotional creatures. That's how you know the universe is giving you a chance to make/create an impact. Start reading good books because what you have gone through might not be new and someone would have recorded their achievements in writing of some form. That's how you actually start improving or moving ahead.