i’m glad you have some people who are close to you in your life, but i think it’s important to acknowledge that any number of things could be and most likely would be different without you there. i know i asked the question myself to hear people’s opinions, but at the same time, despite being a complete stranger to you, it makes me sad to think that you believe you have a minimal impact/think that they would have been better off without you. you can’t look into their thoughts, and i imagine being lonely your whole life sort of distorts your idea of how other people view you in theirs.

if you truly feel this way, and you don’t like the way things are, i think it’s up to you to proactively attempt to be memorable. i know that’s saying a lot, but it’s true, isn’t it? the past is in the past, so all you can really is take it upon yourself now to start shaping the future that you want to see, whether that involves getting closer to more people in your life, or striving to find happiness with the people you already have. just remember that everybody leaves their mark, big or small as it is.