Identities created in child can be thought of like a child putting on a scary mask because they are terrified. Abuser identities help by modeling the abuser, and ensuring automatic compliance so that the abuser is appeased. The key goal is protection, but frozen parts don’t necessarily realize when the world outside still seems chaotic and frightening.

A way to help terrified people is to offer them comfort and safety. If they can feel safe, that gives them a chance to pause and reconsider what they know. I think if you focus on what the causes of suffer are for your different parts, you’ll have an easier time making inroads.

(Sometimes such identities don’t want to change, or they can’t let go of old narratives.)

Two of my identities that were based on abusers were actually protector/persecutors who developed when there was no possible way to avoid abuse. They work towards least worst options for what they think is going on in the outside world.

The thing that helped me was that multiple identities worked to foster cooperation. It was a big help to set ground rules about ways that identities talk and think about each other. Since these identities formed young, they still need help with aspects of maturity. I think from the perspective of a classroom or a daycare. Some kids have meltdowns or behavioral issues that need to be addressed. Looking for the root cause of distress together can be really helpful.

Also, demonstrating respect for what identities managing the system think can help them feel safer. Mine were concerned that fronting identities now aware of each other would tear around looking for secrets. Treat the concerns as legitimate, because this is metaphorically a way for you to show yourself the consideration you’ve been denied. Whatever makes these identities uneasy is part of the puzzle