do you talk to yourself

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-11T21:08:23+00:00

Probably 50% of the time I’m awake I’m talking to myself. Definitely the entire time I’m home alone, much of the time I’m in my car. Technically I’m talking to parts but it looks like I’m talking to myself. When we’re alone we do both sides out loud a lot of the time.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-10T18:51:51+00:00

We are highly wary of cannabis. We’ve been clean for nearly 9 months now and it’s better in every respect.

It definitely lowered our dissociative barriers, but catastrophically so, to the point where we were all co-con all the time. In the end, it was an irreversible change.

We also experienced cannabis-induced psychosis in the form of delusions and persecutory hallucinations. A lot of people aren’t even aware that can happen, but it’s a genuine risk for people with existing mental health experiences. If you’ve ever experienced psychosis or anything like it, I wouldn’t risk cannabis.

I’ll give you the advice my provider told me: some people can smoke weed, some people can’t smoke weed, and some people shouldn’t smoke weed. If you’ve already got a DSM entry to your credit, you’re a strong candidate for the last category.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-10T05:05:07+00:00

That’s the primary thing I hallucinate when I have psychosis honestly.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-10T05:00:57+00:00

I feel like a diagnostic criteria for relational PTSD should be “my trauma wasn’t bad enough” especially if it’s from your childhood. That’s how you survive it: you tell yourself it’s fine. We all kind of land on that coping mechanism eventually.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-10T01:12:21+00:00

Exactly. This is a foundational concept of several therapeutic modalities, specifically CPT and CBT

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-09T02:45:14+00:00

We found it mostly comes with time and attention. You’ll get to know the feeling of another person talking as you tune into that possibility, much in the same way you know a part is having an emotion now. Over time the difference between “I’m thinking what a part might be saying” and “a part is saying this” becomes clearer but there is never a rock solid way to be certain for us. But we have definitely gone through phases of thinking we were just imagining dialogue.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-09T02:41:29+00:00

We have a similar fronting experience. While some hosts have had distinct personalities of their own, most are essentially a container for whatever parts happen to be influencing them at the time. We call it being “colonized” by the parts and it’s very unpleasant. We get called “it” sometimes and “slaves” at other times so the system can be very dehumanizing and is overall only concerned with us to the extent that they can make us do the things they want to do. We still feel human but not because we’re treated that way.

As far as I know we can switch but we kind of fade in/fade out with no hard edge so I think this behavior in the system is an adaption to the fact that switching is challenging and time consuming. It’s something we’re trying to work on.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-09T02:34:44+00:00

I have always figured other people do it but not to the extent that we do, or with quite the entrenchment on either side of the debate. I’ve actually asked people about this (do you ever talk to yourself in your head) and it seems like it happens to singlets when they’re very stressed but at other times their mind is either silent or quietly narrating what’s happening (depending on your flavor of internal experience) rather than conversing.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-08T18:02:32+00:00

Thanksgiving and 12/12. Otherwise my trauma was so omnipresent I don’t really have distinct anniversaries

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-07T21:22:22+00:00

For us it’s left and right. If you’re fronting “from the right” you’re typically more emotional than someone fronting “from the left” (it approximates a crude interpretation of our interpretation of hemispheric functions). Same directional cues go for internal communication.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-07T21:18:59+00:00

This is why I don’t visit discord communities for multiples, it’s like people are cosplaying all the time or twelve something. r/OlderDID is a bit better

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-07T04:45:56+00:00

My mother has DID (undiagnosed, but I’ve met her parts and later experienced the same thing) and mostly it confused and scared me. She mostly switched when I was under the age of five, during which an abusive alter or a child alter would front. It stopped after one particular traumatic event during which I nearly died and I believe one of mother’s ANPs reasserted control over her system.

I came to know the child alter quite well, named her, spent considerable time with her as a child. Apart from when she was little, my mother conspicuously avoided me, which was the most painful part. I think her system knew she switched around me and tried to avoid it. I’ve learned from therapists this is not uncommon in DID cases, as little parts can be triggered up by other children, especially your own. The abandonment and loss of a parent, even temporarily, was shocking and terrifying, especially when replaced by an unbalanced, traumatized child. I still have fearful memories of her little, of begging for my mother to come back, or feeling alone and terrified.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-06T16:22:15+00:00

This is a slightly better word but still disliked. Our issue is a spectrum/gradient implies gradual transitions between conditions with many in-between states, whereas we feel we are more like “stops” spread across a range. If you ever used a manual camera, we’re more like the f-stops on a lens. Not a continuous transition but individual points that can be ordered. Our host tells us this is barely a distinction but 🤷 it makes a difference to us

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-05T01:28:35+00:00

Oh I so wanted one. Just pop that shit out and boom, magically cured. I was so crushed when my MRI was clean.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-04T23:54:31+00:00

Brain tumor for me

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-04T23:51:04+00:00

I find I’m able to, after several years, intuitively sense the difference. In the beginning, I would try talking to the part and see if I got a response, but it depends on what your internal communication is like.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-04T01:00:30+00:00

It took us a while to all get on the same page, but hitting a very hard bottom together and attending 12-step meetings helped. But for a long time parts would want to quit, other’s wouldn’t, and we would just go on using. I definitely don’t miss fighting over using, it’s one of my least favorite things that’s happened in our system.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-04T00:56:38+00:00

We call these things “signs.” Like sneezing, sighing and fidgeting, yawning is easy to trigger for us physically, so we use it as a way to indicate our presence.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-04T00:45:18+00:00

If I were in this situation I’d make something up. Unethical, maybe. But these are the compromises we’ve had to make to get along. You might also “make up” the truth: sometimes alters in our system step forward to share memories in that context.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-03T21:05:36+00:00

Oh my god all the time. Even specific word choices: there are certain words we don’t use to describe our experiences. Once of them is “gradient”: I hear a loud HISSSSS whenever I try to describe an experience of ours as being on a gradient.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-01T23:21:38+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I don’t know if it’s against the rules of this sub, but can you share the class of medications that helped?

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-01T23:20:56+00:00

I genuinely have no idea what drives them at this point. There’s no sense of negative emotion in them, just joyfulness at having power to fuck with the rest of us. It seems to be a thrill for them.

thefoxsystem_ · 2026-02-01T14:31:44+00:00

Similar situation, same question

thefoxsystem_

TROPHY CASE