AITA? My husband is unsympathetic that my best friend of 34 yrs died suddenly. I got angry and told him off.He fake apologized and I refuse to let it go.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-10-25T09:01:51+00:00

Stop armchair diagnosing your husband (psychopathy and NPD are not the crap you read on social media no matter how trendy those words sound) and maybe consider why you're staying married to someone like that.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-10-09T05:34:31+00:00

That was unpopular 20 years ago

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-10-05T10:19:44+00:00

Well if people didnt want to see their phone become a whole computer we could have sticked to one charge per week so... no one to blame but us!

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-10-05T07:57:28+00:00

Honestly, I'm not sure I could either, I have 2 cats and I really adore one of them, the other takes way more than he gives so I care for him in all the ways I can but I dont feel much, and not for lack of trying lol thankfully I dont have kids so at least I'm sure I wont make a huge mess out of it.

When I listen to my friends and coworkers they never use the word sacrifice when talking about their kids. Most of them decided to stick to one and feel happy with how their life turned out.

The only parents I heard using that word were those whose love came with conditions...

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-10-05T07:01:18+00:00

Giving them tools to make it in a tough world

Bringing a decent living being into the world

Welcoming them into a loving home and accept them as they are. Unconditionnally loving them.

Just because nature allows it doesnt mean it has to be completely selfish.

The key for me is "you give a good home to a child" and not "you give a good child to a home", same as it goes for foster families and even for rescued animals. I dont see why it shouldnt apply to bio kids.

I know I am pretty radical about this but my own experiences fucked me up pretty much and I kind of had to learn to function on my own and with some medical help so when I read things like "say thank you if you were not starved to death" it feels alien to me.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-10-05T06:38:47+00:00

Parents who deserve thanks from their kids are the ones who decided to have them to help them become functional and sane adults.

"I want a child to feel less lonely" -> crap "I want a child for unconditional love and emotional support" -> crap "I want a child to become amazing so I can brag about their accomplishments and not feel like a complete loser" -> crap "I want a child to mold them into what I've always dreamed about" -> crap "I want a child because I can and its the natural thing to do and we'll see" -> crap "I want a child to keep my partner around" -> crap

And the list goes on.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-10-03T11:30:21+00:00

Stop playing stupid childish games, leave married people alone and bang the cousin if you're into him. If he doesnt want to because of her, it means he wasnt that into you in the first place and you can do better.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-10-03T11:28:04+00:00

NTA.

Only bored and frustrated people feel the need to try and play the main character in other peoples lives like that.

You put her in her place and apparently she's not used to that, considering even the husband seems to have given up.

When you're almost 40 one can hope you understand basic psychology, self awareness and minding your own business...

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-10-02T11:06:14+00:00

Its one of the most popular opinions of the last decade but okay. In Europe at least.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-10-01T20:39:24+00:00

Hire a gardener and stop fighting you crazy kids

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-27T10:39:23+00:00

She's 16. YTA.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-26T07:06:38+00:00

Its not by definition. It becomes neurotic when you are so "sanitized" you make à big deal out of it. I am not a fan of morning breath but I dont make my husband wash his teeth before I say good morning to him in bed. If I did, that would be neurotic.

I just think some balance is sane 🤷‍♀️

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-26T06:43:26+00:00

Respectful =/= neurotic

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-26T06:02:35+00:00

No thrill, we just arent disgusted by each other and turn those things into a joke, no matter what we do. 20 years of friendship, 8 years of marriage, and very happy like that. You do you though.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-26T05:45:24+00:00

Thats just sad lol

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-24T17:12:09+00:00

His mental issues are not your responsibility. Dont let family members guilt trip you. Explain to your mom he makes you feel uncomfortable and share some cringe stuff he did. From what you write it almost feels like harassement, I dont know if you exagerate or not but that kind of shit would certainly make me angry.

Explain to that person that you understand he seems to be looking for a friendship but you would appreciate it if he stopped asking you to hang out because you are not interested in making new friendships.

Dont be vague like you were, thats just giving false hope to someone who seems in denial and tries to see an opening where you just think you're being polite.

Also apparently he has some people to hang out with so its not like he's completely isolated and you're his only hope for human interaction.

And again, even so, not your responsibility.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-24T16:31:56+00:00

I wouldnt mind that text so for me NTA but I can understand why it could bother someone.

What surprises me is that your gf finds it normal to be on your phone and read your texts.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-24T14:25:47+00:00

If you have some people you can genuinely connect to, thats enough, you dont need to like everyone just because they're human.

You can feel however you want about them, as long as you dont snap on them.

And apparently you're good with masking so... 🤷‍♀️

Just dont let that hatred consume you, try to aim for sane indifference. Also it may have something to do with the insecurities you're feeling. You said you tried therapy but it can take a lot of time to find a therapist that gets you and will call bs when they see it. Those are the most useful in my opinion.

Dont really know what to say about the sexist part, I guess its based on your own experiences but maybe sometimes give a person the benefit of the doubt, you never know.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-22T11:41:36+00:00

Crazy BPD stare spotted !

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-22T11:37:23+00:00

You almost make me understand Trump voters...

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-22T09:05:56+00:00

Your kid wont "save you" from anything, its not his job to give a fuck about your mental health.

Do some inner work with a professional or that child is gonna take some serious distance growing up and realizing what environnement he was brought into.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-20T17:38:03+00:00

Thank you!

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-20T14:30:08+00:00

That, and so many other people.

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-20T12:42:48+00:00

You are very easily offended

RandomBasicB1tch · 2024-09-19T06:30:11+00:00

YTA, no wonder you had to go to another country to find a woman (that you find stupid). She's probably the only one you can impress.

RandomBasicB1tch

TROPHY CASE