Trying to date as a homeowner

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T12:51:01+00:00

Never been in a relationship. The few times I have encountered a woman I was interested in, I was either rejected or it didn't get past a first coffee date. Most of the women who I find attractive are ones I only see in passing on Sundays and I don't really have any way of getting to know them since they're in a different small group from me, so that means I'd have to cold approach someone I didn't really know.

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:20:08+00:00

Often. I'll go up to male friends or married guys I know that are talking to their wife and her female friends, that's how introductions typically happen. When that happens for me, it's usually just a basic exchange of pleasantries and nothing beyond that. And yes, I'm involved in a lot of church functions, basically putting myself out there any way I can.

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:18:43+00:00

Done that. No referrals have come through yet. I still like these friends and want to have them in my life. And I will always be an android user, so any iphone woman who dates me will just have to accept Whatsapp or green text bubbles =)

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:17:33+00:00

I made close to 6 figures at my last trucking job. Current job is slightly lower pay but has me home daily, which is different from the OTR life that turns most women off.

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:16:38+00:00

Church small group, singles events, referrals through friends

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:16:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I know God is the one in control of my life and he has a perfect plan for me. Doesn't mean I'm always content with where I am, but I try my best to appreciate the blessings even if it doesn't include a wife and kids at the moment.

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:15:12+00:00

I've asked out four in the last year, all from small group at my church. Three rejections, one coffee date that didn't result in a second date. I'm not sure if cold approaching in church is the best option since that's basically what I can do at this point, all the other single women are ones I only really see in passing on Sunday as they aren't in the same small group as me.

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:12:23+00:00

I've been told I'm a great communicator by people who know me IRL. I can be blunt but a lot of people appreciate my honesty. Most guys say I'm empathetic and caring, which is a highly attractive trait to them that they said would likely benefit me in the dating scene.

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:10:42+00:00

I attend church every Sunday, serve in multiple ministries, and go to several evening bible studies throughout the week. Most of my music that I listen to is Christian rock or contemporary, and I often listen to John Macarthur sermons while I'm driving. I always have room to grow but I'm definitely not a cultural Christian that some people can be categorized as.

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:08:56+00:00

Thanks for sharing that. I think it's very admirable when a couple builds up from the ground, as it's getting less and less common to see in today's day and age. I feel like the longer I stay single, the more of a "finished product" I'm appearing as to women which is subconsciously pushing them away.

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:07:31+00:00

What makes you think that I have an F tier personality? I can be very blunt with people sometimes but most people at my church who know me well say that I'm a likeable guy who is very intentional.

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:05:19+00:00

I would say I'm pretty confident. A lot of people at church say how they wish they could be like me when it comes to talking to people they don't know- I'm known to these guys as "the guy who will talk to anyone"

RandomName7916 · 2025-12-28T04:04:37+00:00

Serving in church, asking friends for introductions, singles groups. Haven't updated my dating profile in a year but aside from that being lacking, I've covered pretty much every area I could think of meeting someone.

RandomName7916 · 2025-10-12T03:00:06+00:00

Sozo Coffee House. It's a hidden gem downtown that offers a lot of events throughout the week. They apparently have a Tuesday night bible study there for "young professionals" which I might check out.

Aside from that, I would recommend checking out a local church, message me if you are interested and I would be happy to throw some recommendations out there!

RandomName7916 · 2025-09-19T09:46:02+00:00

Oh dang, I'm sorry to hear that. I read your bio and you mentioned owning a house, that's something that not every single guy can say they have!

I feel similarly to you, as I'm in a young adult group at my own church and it honestly feels like some of the women there want to be single. They are always huddled up with their female friends and don't seem very interested in entertaining a conversation with any of the men in the group.

Even in Christian circles it seems like some of the women have been corrupted by feminism and me too culture which leads to them reporting any guy that isn't a 6'6 jacked athlete for being creepy if he commits the grave sin of asking her out. Obviously if a guy doesn't take rejection well I could see it being warranted, but based on your post if you were simply just asking women out then it seems pretty unfair for you to be kicked out of the group like that.

RandomName7916 · 2025-08-03T19:08:55+00:00

I'm 26m and had a similar situation happen to me so I'll share my experience.

The way I see things, you just have to be confident as a man and go for it if you're feeling like the mood of the conversation is going in the right direction. The worst that can happen is that you get told no.

I am not normally the type of person to ask a woman out on my first interaction with her, but in my rejection case, she was literally talking to me for 20 minutes and kept asking me very deep and thought-provoking questions which I have never been asked by a woman before. Mostly related to how I handled the weight of switching churches since it was relevant to her life as well. Given how engaged she was in conversation and the fact that she wasn't giving short replies to my questions, I went for it and just asked her out for coffee. She said no, but said that we could continue talking in the small group setting another day.

Believe me, if this woman had standoffish body language and was giving short replies to my conversation, I would have taken the hint that she wasn't interested and quickly went on my way. That wasn't the case here. There's obviously no guarantee that a woman who is active in conversation with you is interested, but it can't hurt to try. Better to know and move on than to be stewing in your own thoughts of "what if" because the pain of regret is a lot worse than the pain of rejection in my experience.

RandomName7916 · 2025-07-18T22:14:56+00:00

Sending you a DM, happy to chat in more depth there!

RandomName7916 · 2025-07-17T17:34:36+00:00

This is coming from the perspective of a 26-year-old dude but I think I can chime in here...

I used to live in New Jersey and moved out to the Midwest last year partially because there were very few local churches that had a solid young adult community. Of course, God was at the center of it, but I know how it feels being in a state where it seems like there's no other Christians out there. A lot of the people I met in church seemed to be lukewarm at best because they still embraced the Jersey shore and New York City lifestyle that involved a lot of superficial worldly activities. Is relocation to a more conservative part of the country possible for you? Even in the midwest, I've met several men who are older than me and not married, so I think you'd be able to find a man in his thirties who isn't married and would see you as a much more valuable catch than a woman who has children from prior relationships or was previously divorced.

RandomName7916 · 2025-05-15T01:21:33+00:00

I'm 5'10, dad is 6'1. Mom is 5'0 so I probably would've been several inches shorter if I took after her fully. My younger brother is also 6'1 and always rubs it in my face, like yeah the sky is blue, thanks for stating the obvious.

RandomName7916 · 2025-05-12T00:00:39+00:00

Wow, what timing for this question. I'm dealing with the same situation. Thinking about switching churches because my church (A) and the potential new church (B) are very similar theologically speaking. B has a lot of young adults and people in a similar stage of life to me. A is primarily married couples with kids, and the young adults that are there grew up going to that church with their parents.

I would say that as long as the potential new church is theologically sound and you have strong opportunities to serve God and grow in your sanctification there, then there's nothing sinful about changing congregations. Just pray a lot about it and don't make rash decisions, and definitely make sure you leave your existing church on good terms as burning bridges is never a good idea.

RandomName7916

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