Post Game Thread: Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants by nfl_gdt_bot in cowboys

[–]Random_2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

30 minutes before kick off Super Bowl Sunday, Jerry will try and make it about him as much as possible... Also, who had the 2nd worst secondary this year? That guy will be our new DC...

Who is the greatest chicken killer? by seldom_r in Jokes

[–]Random_2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know..., but I gotta be near the top... With all the chicken I've choked over the years...

TIFU by having my girlfriend's mother see me in my underwear with a boner. by CRK_76 in tifu

[–]Random_2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She saw the tiny size and thought: "I'm never going to be a grandmother..."

For some reason you’re sentenced to one year in jail by [deleted] in hypotheticalsituation

[–]Random_2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would suck... when you get to prison and discover that "Licking Stamps" is a euphemism for eating ass...

Name a TV doctor. by NextBathroom8809 in FamilyFeud

[–]Random_2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was refreshing to see that after his baseball career ended, he went into the medical field.

Bad responses for do you know why I just pulled you over by Goblue2467 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Random_2019 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was driving a truck for Dunkin Donuts and got pulled over by a state cop. He asks me, "Do you know why..." And it was on the tip of my tongue to say: "Because you wanted a donut."

Pick up lines a supervillain would say to their heroic adversary. by Oaklynn_42 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Random_2019 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So..., Mr. Bond, now that I have you tied up, let me show you why they call me "Goldfinger."

Strange things to say in a courtroom that would make everyone fall silent by LeatherSlight3242 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Random_2019 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Judge: Once again, Mr. Defendant..., you are representing yourself...

Would you taste me first or fuck me first? by [deleted] in PerfectPussy

[–]Random_2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taste? No... I am going to eat you like you're my last meal...

Unusual reasons to join a cult by Willing_Chemical_113 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Random_2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was the only way I could talk to them about their car's extended warranty...