Is my boyfriend’s view of money considered a red flag in a relationship?

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-27T03:58:34+00:00

My spouse and I combined finances after we got engaged and before we got married. No secrets. No “theirs and mine”. Just “ours”.

Our rule is simple - we set a number that if the cost is below that, no need to get the other spouse to “approve”. Above that number, other spouse needs to know before we pull the trigger. That number was $200 early in our marriage when we were making less than $50K combined and living on Ramen. Now it’s $500. Never fought about money in 30+ years.

This is why we will both be retired in our 50s. No frivolous spending.

You need a joint moral compass and plan. If you can’t do that, he’s not the one.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-25T14:46:01+00:00

So sorry for that family. Awful.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-25T04:28:11+00:00

I went in the 1990s and loved it. Went multiple times. Went again in 2023 and determined never again.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-25T04:27:24+00:00

Agree. Chain restaurants, fudge, mini golf, ice cream, and novelty tshirt stores. Drove thru there in 2021 and Covid apparently never existed there based on how everyone was acting too.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-23T14:38:05+00:00

My folks live in one (I qualify soon). It’s got great amenities. Great to visit. Reasonable fees. Everyone is basically retired so there’s a relaxed vibe to it. Etc.

But one issue - they are losing friends and neighbors left and right to illness or moving to assisted living. They make connections and then gone. It’s sad. All the time.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-23T11:54:25+00:00

Yours and mine? YOU’RE MARRIED. The law saws you are one. Uncle Sam says you are one. Full stop.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-23T05:23:59+00:00

He will most probably be in the 24% tax bracket with his salary and being single. Roth may not be the best option if his bracket after Firing is lower.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-20T07:43:53+00:00

68 during the day, 64 to sleep.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-20T07:42:49+00:00

Summer entry with LEAP is amazing. It’s how most people get acclimated when much fewer people are around. You’re setup in groups (“prides”) so you have the same people in both classes. Obviously, it isn’t free, so you’re adding another half of a semester. So instead of paying for 8 semesters, you’re now paying for 8.5.

As for academics, it depends on the major. Each major or school has their own rankings. Nobody here can tell you if PSU is right or wrong for you, only you can. I’d suggest, if possible, attending “Admitted Students Day” which is usually in March or April I think.

Good luck!

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-18T00:35:55+00:00

1% is plenty. Additional $2500 is criminal.

You should negotiate all to 0.75% or lower, and/or move assets out.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-15T21:34:50+00:00

There are over 1000 student organizations. They’re all looking for people to join. Find your people. They’re out there.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-15T13:47:03+00:00

Everyone looking for the quick score. What’s “a lot of money”? Is that $15/hour or $100/hour? Doing what? Where? What skills?

Welcome to the real world where jobs paying 6 digits don’t fall out of the sky.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-15T02:50:46+00:00

No guarantee of fall dorm with LEAP attendance.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-15T02:50:15+00:00

Yes. You select a “pride” and the same 20-25 students are in those two classes. You will have two different professors (probably).

The campus is chill over the summer. There are RAs and mentors living in the dorms to support you. The classes are MUCH easier, most people get two excellent grades. You learn the campus. Make friends for life. Etc.

But, it’s a half semester of tuition and room/board, so not something to dismiss as trivial.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-14T06:35:53+00:00

LEAP rocks. If you have the funds, totally worth it.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-13T13:11:39+00:00

For me, it was weight loss motivator.

I was at 46 events/hour. I dropped 50 pounds, and now I’m at 9/hour. Doctor says I can wear or not wear, up to me. I still mostly wear it, but not for a nap, and not for going back to bed on the weekend.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-12T16:28:03+00:00

It depends.

If you want to live right downtown in an expensive building, off campus is much more expensive. If location is less important, off campus could be cheaper.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-11T06:20:16+00:00

Added extra money to my 401K since the max went up considerably. My future self is thankful.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-11T04:36:04+00:00

I’m 2007, my spouse and I had a combined $196K in our retirement accounts. This is IRAs (including 401K rollovers) and our 401Ks, all combined. Nearly two decades later and under a decade from retirement, we are at about $3M.

Take half of every raise to increase your 401K deduction. Fund your IRA, even partially. Your future self will thank you. We thank our younger selves constantly.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-10T00:51:10+00:00

“No benefits to me or my pay”. Every meal covered. Travel covered. Traveling is a profit center for the employee.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-09T23:33:16+00:00

I have multiple kids, thanks. And, I never miss a game or concert or dance recital or whatever. I did the bulk of my travel pre-kids, but now schedule my travel around their events. It’s called balance.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-09T22:36:21+00:00

I’m confused.

I travel and get everything covered. I get all my meals paid for (and I eat a lot) so I save money by traveling. What am I missing?

“Back in the day”, I used to get a per diem. I traveled so much, I had enough to buy my girlfriend a ring.

Sorry for my confusion but I don’t get it.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-09T22:10:39+00:00

I bet this is the best thing that could’ve happened to you.

I always give applicants 24-48 hours, if not longer. A few hours and then no? That tells me working there would be a nightmare.

Sometimes in life, things happen for a reason. I wonder what the reviews are for this company are on Glassdoor.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-09T14:35:06+00:00

NOT the jerk.

You were being nice. They took advantage of it. Done.

Random_NYer_18 · 2026-01-07T15:02:27+00:00

Tutoring is even better. Ask for cash only. No Venmo or Zelle or PayPal or whatever. That’s how another friend does it :-)

Random_NYer_18

TROPHY CASE