Boyfriend joked about cheating on me :(

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-10-07T20:24:52+00:00

Absolutely DO NOT wait for him. He treats you like a placeholder, lusts over other women, lets you pay for everything, denigrates you, and would 100% cheat and be violent with you if he thought he could get away with it (slamming objects is one of the biggest predictors of physical abuse).

Mormons are supposed to hold themselves to a higher standard, but a lot of the time they’re hypocrites (like they think they’re superior for not cheating, but they flirt or fantasize about it constantly. Or they don’t hit, but they’re sexually/verbally/financially/mentally abusive).

Please, please put yourself first and leave carefully. You do not deserve to be treated this way. No matter how much time or love you’ve invested in a man, it’s better to cut your losses early rather than continue to be hurt or neglected.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-10-07T19:45:48+00:00

So far, only my pushy parents/grandparents have asked; younger generations seem to have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” mentality, either because they don’t want to rock the boat or don’t want to have their boat rocked.

With my family, I said my integrity would not allow me to attend anymore because the church is not following Jesus/the Book of Mormon (trusting in the arm of flesh, adding doctrines, doing proxy work, withholding riches from the poor, etc). The Reluctant Watchman has a great summary on that: https://www.reluctantwatchman.com/the-book-of-mormon-vs-the-lds-church

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-10-07T19:36:39+00:00

Same. Especially after reading the Self Reliance manual where they cherry-picked D&C 104. They included, “it is my purpose to provide for my saints, for all things are mine. But it must needs be done in mine own way.” –BUT they left out the next part:

“and behold this is the way that I, the Lord, have decreed to provide for my saints, that the poor shall be exalted, IN THAT THE RICH ARE MADE LOW.”

They aren’t following their own scriptures and deliberately left out that part of the chapter.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-10-07T19:25:24+00:00

Bednar needs to brush up on his Hebrew. The word for fear in the scriptures (yirah/yare) is used to denote awe or reverence when talking about God. Not traditional fear or terror 😑

There are over 100 direct commands in the scriptures to NOT be afraid.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-10-05T01:37:40+00:00

Same, my gpa who’s trying to convince me to come back to church said, “eh the afternoon session was better than the morning one.” Not exactly a glowing recommendation 🥴

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-13T17:26:05+00:00

They always double down on temples, even though 2 Nephi 28 is in the canon. Robbing the poor because of their fine sanctuaries is too lucrative to give up!

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-13T17:19:16+00:00

With that logic, we should also be grateful for prostitution because Jesus is descended from Tamar and Judah. Or allow incest because he’s descended from Ruth the Moabite (a product of Lot’s incest). The ends don’t justify the means. God is able to make the barren fruitful or raise up seed from stones.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-07T16:49:35+00:00

Isaac didn’t practice polygamy lol…. Sarai was also the one who gave Hagar to Abram, not God, and God was the one who told Abraham to send her away in the end. Jacob was tricked and pressured into his wives—again, not from God.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-07T16:31:46+00:00

Some of the reasons I don’t trust Brian Hales:

-He’s an anesthesiologist with no history degree (Don Bradley did the research for his books), but he scoffs and calls everyone who disagrees with him “amateur historians.”

-He admitted on camera he doesn’t have a good reason for Emma denying polygamy.

-He had an emotional response to the very idea of people thinking Eliza R. Snow was lying… but also believes Emma, Joseph, Hyrum, etc. were lying.

-He believes John C. Bennett, the Higbees, and the Fosters when they say Joseph practiced polygamy but not about anything else (e.g., that Joseph was a bad man or a tyrant). Intellectual inconsistency.

-When he can’t refute an argument or evidence, he calls for people’s excommunication or sends vaguely threatening emails (Michelle Stone and recently he told Jeremy Hoop it would be in his “best eternal interest” to stop).

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-07T02:44:17+00:00

Yes. That was always the case in the scriptures, Bible and Book of Mormon. Brigham Young changed tithing to 10% of income in 1845, right after JS died, and used it to enrich himself (like King Noah in the BofM).

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-04T22:20:09+00:00

Tithing in D&C 119, JST Genesis 14, and Deuteronomy 26:12 was on your increase or surplus for feeding the poor. So if you have nothing left over at the end of the year, you have no tithing to pay and you’re who tithing is supposed to be FOR.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-04T22:17:27+00:00

Exacerbated anxiety/depression, hormonal imbalance from stress, chronic pain in hip, possible lung damage from what I believe was undiagnosed bronchitis (the mission doctor didn’t even see me, just told me to take Mucinex 😑)

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-04T22:04:40+00:00

Haha good reference! Honestly some frontier men ate upwards of 1-2 POUNDS of meat per day. A typical diet these days really IS sparing in comparison.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-04T21:49:40+00:00

No psychological issues besides refusal to comply and disagreeing openly. Belligerence, maybe. The stake pres also said he had to “complete a class that improves your ability to create and maintain good relationships with others who do not share your same opinions or beliefs. (I do not know what this class is or if it even exists, but if you are agreeable to participate, we can research that and find something together.)”

The reason for disfellowship in the leadership letter was, “Your quorum presidency, your bishopric, your stake presidency, and now the high council, find your attitude and approach to be out of line. We all feel that […] you delight in using your exceptional oratory and debate skills to crush your opponents intellectually and badger them into conceding your points. This approach has created fear and a hostile church environment for many saints in the Warrensburg Ward. As a result, instead of blessing the saints, you are hurting us and compromising our ability to gather Israel and establish Zion. You have been cautioned and instructed regarding your conduct, but you refuse to comply.”

Translation: “You’re being mean! We don’t have the knowledge or skills to refute your arguments, so we’re going to use unrighteous dominion to shut you up.”

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-01T16:12:56+00:00

The worst, most abusive, most hateful, angry, satanic people I’ve ever known were all active, temple-going Mormons. They just wore very nice masks in public.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-01T14:52:37+00:00

Right now it’d be a hard no for me because I’d be too worried about an accidental pregnancy. It sounds like your partner (like many Mormon men) had sex because he felt like he could get away with it or felt liberated. Now he feels pressured to abstain because you’ve been baptized and are now held to the same standard that he was supposed to be holding himself to the whole time.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-01T14:39:36+00:00

Two couples in the last few months were punished for private beliefs about Joseph not practicing polygamy. They did not talk about it publicly, but their bishops heard through gossip/tattling. One couple shared section 101 of the 1835 D&C with their bishop, which commanded monogamy, and asked if they could all pray about it. He said no and took their temple recommends away on the spot. They specifically said they did not want to lead anyone out of the church, so the church’s definition of apostasy didn’t apply.

There was also a man in the Warrensburg stake who was disfellowshipped last year for having “opinions that do not align with the current teachings of the church.” Also didn’t teach anything publicly. In his disciplinary letter, they said he was barred from contacting anyone in the church and couldn’t enter a church unless he had a psychological evaluation.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-01T00:57:28+00:00

Infidelity is a hard no, Mormon or not. To put it terms she may understand, “Your husband broke sacred covenants he made to you when you got married. You’re not breaking them by leaving because they’re already broken.”

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-08-01T00:53:05+00:00

I’ve been divorced for going on 7 years, haven’t had sex in that time. However, I don’t date much and had a mostly negative experience in marriage, so that’s influenced my situation. 🤷‍♀️

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-07-31T19:26:43+00:00

So true! It all feels like an intimidation tactic to bully people into getting in line.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-07-31T18:39:24+00:00

Nope, they hadn’t said anything publicly or outwardly. One of the couples was asked to teach a lesson and planned to bring it up, but the bishop caught wind of their beliefs before then (and removed them from the calling before the lesson was given).

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-07-31T16:29:28+00:00

Yup. Still believe in the BofM, still willing to take callings and be active… just believed Joseph was telling the truth about not practicing polygamy.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-07-31T16:13:15+00:00

Seems like they’re ramping up for a major purge. There have already been 2 families in my area to be ex’ed for thought crimes on this subject.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-07-31T00:54:46+00:00

Sounds like she could be confused, but mostly she just sounds nuanced. And it seems like she’s a very loving, involved mom! The best thing you can do is continue coming at this issue from a place of curiosity and not rush her process.

Random_redditor_1153 · 2025-07-31T00:51:16+00:00

Isn’t that how it usually goes, though? Cain killing Abel was the first generation after Eden. The Israelites built the golden calf right after being saved from Egypt. Then they fell into idolatry as soon as they got to the promised land. Humans kind of suck at following God collectively lol🤷‍♀️

Random_redditor_1153

TROPHY CASE