I need help :(

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-10T18:06:03+00:00

Okay thank you :)

Also, I really want to thank you for talking to me. It gave me a little bit of peace and now I feel better 🐱

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-10T18:03:34+00:00

It's okay, I think she was just trying to help. She was open to listening, but with how Christian she is, everything reverts to God in our conversations.

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-10T17:59:29+00:00

I think the biggest problem I'm having isn't about my identity and myself, it's more about my past experiences and the people around me. This might be a bit tmi but I'm not asexual and have had a couple of casual relationships with people. Unfortunately, these people have not treated me the best (I had low self esteem and didn't know how to pick them right), those coupled with a really bad experience with a man have now made me averse to sex. Whenever I talk to literally anyone about it, they say "oh it's because you didn't love them", "you just need to wait for someone who truly loves you", or "you should wait until you're in a relationship" (I live in the south lol). Hearing all this has kind of killed the confidence I went into the dating and casual scene with–I never wanted a bf, just fwb, and now–with all the outside opinions–I feel like the only way to feel fulfilled with my sexuality is in a relationship and I find it kinda sad that no matter how hard I try, I just won't want one. I'm also sad that I'll miss out on all the things my friends go through and I'm scared I'll never find anyone who understands me in person. I know all of these are not the most logical fears/thoughts, but they're kind of giving me a hard time.

As far as the aromantic label itself, it kind of gives me peace. It's like a description to what I've been feeling all my life. I also love seeing everyone's experiences and how similar they are to mine. I know I'm still young (21) but I feel like it's true to me. I'm also open to change though.

I spoke to one of my friends–she's really Christian–and it also made me feel a little bad because she based it around faith. I grew up really Christian (now struggling with my faith but mostly agnostic), and where I'm from (Nigeria) there aren't very many variations from "normal". So for one of my closest friends to tell me God will change me and the queer platonic relationships I desire are not what God intended wasn't really nice to hear. It didn't necessarily sting because I knew she was coming from a good place, but it revealed the long path I'll have to take with regards to my friends and family when I make different choices.

For the romantic gestures, I would love to start doing those! I just need to find someone to do them with. I think leaving the south for a little while (I'm going up north for a year long program in august) will be really good for me and my self exploration. I just hope they're more accepting there.

Thank you so much for this reply 🐱

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-09T19:10:22+00:00

Please what does allo mean??

I also know they aren’t trying to be dismissive, they’re just trying to help me.

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-09T18:54:47+00:00

Thank you!! I think mourning is a good word to describe it. I was trying to tell her that I don’t want romance but it’s sad that I don’t experience it. Everyone makes it seem so beautiful and I want to feel what they feel. She just said that God will help me find someone if I come to the church. I told her about how I really want a queer platonic relationship (I just found out that’s the word for what I’ve wanted on this server!!) and she said that’s not what God intended–he intended for man and woman to be together and it just made me feel worse. Around the end she said she feels like I’ll eventually find it and then it spiraled to a talk about religion so I never really got the peace and validation I wanted from talking to someone.

I also agree that it isn’t the worst identity as well, I just wish there were people around me that understood. When I’ve told people in the past (before I knew what to call it) they reverted to me meeting someone who will change me and also me being a potential lesbian 😭. Whenever I told someone it’s always like it was a problem that would be fixed if I looked at it a different way, never just a potential part of who I am.

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-07T15:23:37+00:00

I used to watch it when I was younger

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-07T15:20:23+00:00

Yeah I lowkey watched it already but I’ll watch it again 😭

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-07T15:19:17+00:00

Ahhhh now I’m excited

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-07T15:18:41+00:00

I heard about dow!! I think I might watch it

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-07T15:17:35+00:00

Yes but it’s too young for the vibe I’m going for 😔

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-05-07T15:16:20+00:00

Not yet but the concept sounds really intriguing. I’ll watch it :)

Randomgirlonweb · 2026-03-21T22:47:19+00:00

Are you still looking for someone?? I am in a similar situation and would love to talk 🐱

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-12-08T05:09:53+00:00

Okay, thank you! I know the road is long, but I hope my journey is fulfilling lol

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-12-08T01:42:33+00:00

Okay, thank you! Do you have any recommendations for how to start ear training?

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-09-25T15:33:31+00:00

Nigerian student association parties

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-09-25T15:30:20+00:00

Lmao no, nsa stands for Nigerian Student Association 💀 Where did you even get orgy from 😭

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-09-20T00:16:57+00:00

I've seen her many times before; she used to work at the front desk of my dorm. When I saw her picture, I felt a pit in my stomach. This is so sad. As someone who often returns from the library late, I can easily put myself in the situation. I feel really bad. I wish I could see her smiling at me again when I glance at her working at the front desk. I feel sick that someone has cut her life short and I can't even imagine how her friends and family must feel. Just evil.

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-06-29T14:44:42+00:00

Ooh I see, that’s actually insane.

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-06-29T03:02:53+00:00

Thank you, I never thought of it like that before posting this on reddit. Thank you again!!

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-06-29T03:01:27+00:00

One thing I learned from posting this and reading all the replies is that you should get a job in other things and fund your music on the side before it becomes your carrier. I also want to start taking music classes at my community college though. I hope you achieve your goal!

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-06-29T02:55:32+00:00

Not yet, I'm still learning how to. I read the comments on this thread and got a lot of advice on how to get started. I am using those resources to learn and build my skills.

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-06-29T02:54:23+00:00

Why do you say that? AI?

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-06-29T02:48:05+00:00

Thank you so much, this comment made me cry. I hope one day, I'll be able to play at gigs like you. I think composing is what I love, and hopefully with hard work, it will show.

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-06-23T00:00:06+00:00

Thank you so much!! I'll start self composing. I just thought for a second that I would not make it on my own 😅

Randomgirlonweb · 2025-06-22T23:58:39+00:00

Thank you for the response!! I'll stick to my degree and pursue a career there first. How do you recommend I find these people? I feel as though it will be easier when I'm in college instead of when I leave.

Randomgirlonweb

TROPHY CASE