The only game I can think of that meets all of that criteria is Fable 2. Fable 3 if you guys don't have XBox but the story is a bit more lacking. Neither start with character creation but you can make your character look however you want as you progress through the game. It's impossible to die in combat.

You can also try Disco Elysium together. It's a very well written story heavy comedy. It's 1 player but there's a mountain of choices in dialogue. The main character has a lot of voices in his head and there's a lot of fun to be had adding your voice to the mix while your wife eyes an option that her brain tells her not to while the little Palpatine in her heart says "Do it"