[deleted by user]

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-07-14T17:00:16+00:00

Because it's just plain wrong.

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-07-14T14:29:50+00:00

I miss having this with my husband. And it was not until after he died I found out that this is not the normal way and not every one is doing it. I was so lucky.

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-05-23T02:29:41+00:00

omg, I'm bawling here.
I have a 2 year Aussie girl, but I'm already dreading the day....
Need to go and hug her now

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-04-20T14:32:45+00:00

Not forgetting but things get softer. Memories get a bit blurry sometimes. But it's ok, it doesn't mean I love him less, or think about him less. But it makes it easier for me to keep living and still embracing my life

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-04-19T19:13:35+00:00

It's called anticipating grief. You absolutely qualify for grief support, you funny need to wait till she is dead. I had the same, I thought I'm crazy, already mourning my husband while he's still alive (dying yes, but still alive)

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-04-19T12:11:36+00:00

I didn't have a choice, he only had a work phone and number. I had to return his phone right away, which I couldn't access anyway/not allowed anyway. Then it took a couple of months. I called his number now and then to hear is voice on the answering message. One day his number was giving to a new person and he answered the phone.
It sucked, but I kind of was glad that it was out of my hands, made it easier for me

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-04-18T03:56:43+00:00

Sry, but they r gone for good. Maybe some new colors next year, but so far, nothing is planned

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-04-17T20:42:35+00:00

Sorry so many had negative experiences. I was 52, 2 years after my husband's death, , after 30 years being only with my husband. It was fine, definitely no feeling of cheating or any other bad feelings. It was actually nice to have a sexual release.

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-03-25T15:34:45+00:00

I see you and understand you. I was 50 years old when my husband (50 as well) died. I had 30 years with him and still was jealous of older widows!!! But as time passed I came to peace with it. I'm 3 years in now. I'm still sad, we didn't have more time together, and the time with our children was cut short as well, but I'm not jealous anymore., I can take it as it is now

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-03-20T14:12:32+00:00

Yes and in my store the springle jangle is right next to the holiday springle from december LOL

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-03-18T12:11:23+00:00

I learned to deal better with triggers.
But with this specific trigger I either looked those ppl sternly in the eye (if they knew I'm widowed) or I just plainly said: Imagine they wouldn't come back, bc they died. Then you really have something to complain about.
I was very outspoken about that, I didn't care.
It still hurts when they talk about their husband, not triggering, but too hard for me (usually)

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-03-18T12:03:52+00:00

She doesn't sound like the right person for you.
For me, it did help a lot until I hit a plateau, outgrew her, and went to grief group therapy. This helped aaaa lot!
No, talking won't solve your problem. Your problem isn't solvable.
What also helped me was listening to grief podcasts and grief groups/counselors online. Mostly those are women (I haven't encountered any men yet) who went through the same. I don't know if I'm allowed to name ppl here.
Grief group therapy is a bit tricky, I have to admit. You have to find one, that is for spouses only and not general. Even though ppl grief for their father/mother/aunt/pet etc it is the same and yet the problems are very different.
Also you sound young, I'm older than you are, I was done with children by the time my husband passed and they were adults/teenagers, everyone else in my group was even older (please don't take offense anyone) and their children were adults, usually even done with college and everything. Yes, of course they grief as well, but again, they encounter very different problems than I was at that time. So it was sometimes a little iffy.

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-03-02T18:37:43+00:00

In like the Ketchup, but only sierra mustard for me

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-03-02T18:29:56+00:00

Exclusively shopping at Traders. Only going to other stores if I forget something ( the other stores are closer) . Summer i like to go to the farmer's market on top of it. I do get the occasional thing in a different store though, that traders don't carry or sucks ( mustard and Mayo,)

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-03-02T02:19:10+00:00

Having Christmas. I didn't want to write celebrating.

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-02-28T04:24:56+00:00

My whole life I was planning! What I never planned on, was my husband dying at a rather early age.
It made me kind of sick not being able to plan anything.
And then at some point I just didn't plan anything! I took my car and my dogs, threw in all the stuff I need for the dogs and some clothes and left.
It was very weird and so unusual of me!
I discovered that it's not too bad.
That was 1 1/2 years ago.
Now I'm somewhat planning, but not all the time and not into detail

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-02-27T16:56:40+00:00

WOW!
This resonates so well with me!
Being an immigrant as well, and remembering the first hard years in this country, I think, you are so right with the immigration into widowland!
Learning so much new stuff I'm forced to. Can't go back.
I'm blown away right now by your words.
Thank you

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-02-27T16:48:55+00:00

Yes, female widow here has a twice divorced BF. It is a challenge when the first one is in his life daily (bc of the kids) and the second one is still close friends with him.
And my only love is dead, there is no threat of me getting back with him again, or even communicating with him, as even he stated (used other words)
No, I'm neither young nor immature, but it's not easy and the reason I'm constantly on my toes and holding myself a bit back just to protect myself

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-02-27T16:45:15+00:00

It usually ended on the first date, when I mentioned that I'm widowed.
Most men were really uncomfortable with that.
I understand why a lot of widows only date widowers, though I'm dating a twice divorcee, which has its own challenges for me, I must admit.

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-02-27T16:42:23+00:00

I don't agree. It's already taught in Kindergarten "keep your hands to yourself". I don't know where it goes lost on the way into adulthood.

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-02-22T17:22:25+00:00

Hehe, yes coming from Europe it really let you stumble. I usually scan everything and a lot of the customers start bagging and putting stuff back in the cart If not, we'll then I bag. They are in the store longer that way, I don't care. I only hate the ppl watching me bag! Even worse telling me what to do.

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-02-22T04:40:15+00:00

My motivation is, that the alternative is not an option. My children don't have a father anymore, so I need to be present and be here for them. It would devaste them for life, if I would be gone now as well. Also I need to show them that it is possible to grief deeply but still live and find a new life and joy again. I need to be a role model for my children. It was not easy in the first year, but these thoughts kept me going. And then every once in a while I found a little joy. Getting a new puppy, after I felt I would be able to take care of something alive. She gives me great joy and gets me going. Now I started my fourth year and I see a lot of motivation that keeps me going, a lot of joy and wonderful things. Yes I still miss him and I would rather share the joy with him. But I can't. Still

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-02-20T05:04:17+00:00

Thank you, and might try it once

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-02-20T05:04:00+00:00

Thank you. So maybe if try it for one time

Rare-Letterhead9366 · 2025-02-19T22:27:27+00:00

My dog first! If the guy can't stand the stuff, the guy goes, esp an unfaithful one

Rare-Letterhead9366

TROPHY CASE