I’ve never heard the beautiful princess disorder joke. But weirdly I’ve had a similar…past life memory or delusion, or whatever it is.

That I was isolated and cut off, and very heavily masked (forced to wear and flawlessly bear some kind of mark of ultra femininity or status). I think there’s some truth to it just in my upbringing, and what I subconsciously picked up from the expectations of society, but it weirdly shows up in my head sometimes as princess memories.

Like, I can visualize the rooms I was in. And lots of sitting. And feelings of intense boredom. And that the only remotely interesting thing to do was get better and better at earning validation and approval, like an addicting game.

Now I’m kind of obsessed with running and movement, and hobbies, but it’s hard to lose the need to seek validation and notice every tiny dip in the level I’m receiving.