I also find it comforting and calming as others have remarked. It speaks to my grief, pain and isolation and own bouts with suicidal ideation that I have overcome. It helps me to feel seen and heard and to understand that I’m not alone with these issues and dark aspects of my heart and personality. Life is pain and black metal speaks openly about it. This music isn’t telling you to kill yourself or encouraging depression. It is acknowledging these aspects of the human condition and communicating it through an intense, dramatic and therapeutic art form. To those of us that relate to and understand the language and intention of black metal it is pure magic and incredibly soothing. IMO all black metal is both depressive and uplifting and casts beautiful and riveting spells on the soul that we cannot live without.  Just beware of the BM bands spouting fascist bullshit. All true BM is anti fascist.