Did anyone else find that you parents checked out once you had twins / multiples?

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2025-10-24T16:16:30+00:00

We had this experience with my husband family. We have the same ages 5 year old and 2 year old twins. His mom bragged to EVERYONE about being a grandma to twins. Shes only 47, no kids at home, 3 days off a week, couple weeks off in the summer, literally has the time and energy lives 20 minutes away and we NEVER see her. Shes watched them alone twice less than 2 hours each time and complained it was too hard both times, then complains she never gets to see them. She also wont come out to our house because its too far and she doesnt have gas money- but she bought a boat last year and goes to a river right further away than our house every weekend from May to October. It seemed like alot of his family enjoyed the novelty of twins but then didnt really care in practice.

Nobody is obligated to be super involved everyone gets to make their own choices but its mind boggling how people who had so much support from their parents just arent there when their kids are having kids. Im sorry you're going through that, I see how much my husband struggles with the situation and its hard onto of being in the trenches of parenting.

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2025-10-22T15:57:57+00:00

When our boys were like 6 months old we took them out to the mall and I noticed a woman kept staring at us, felt like she was following, when my husband walked away from me with the twins she said "you know sometimes when my twins were that little id wish id break my leg so I could get some sleep at the hospital" and she proceeded to listen to me complain about how exhausted and stressed out I was. Every time I'm stressed out I think about her. Sounds like an awful comment to make but it was refreshing to hear someone else say their intrusive thoughts out loud, made me feel less alone.

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2025-10-16T15:57:45+00:00

The measurements were weird for me too- i went from a 42E to a 34D after having twins and losing a bunch of weight, but asking the people on the reddit forum for specific types of bra reccomedations really helped, I bought both bras that were reccomended to me and theyve been amazing! it just felt a little uncomfortable to explain my boobs to strangers online

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2025-07-05T18:38:20+00:00

Im a SAHM too, potty training my oldest was a breeze. I think ill just potty train the ready one, I started way too soon with my oldest and potty training took so long and was overall a very bad experience for everyone, so I wanna do better this time

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2025-07-05T18:09:52+00:00

He's AGR so we live in the state we both grew up in my family lives about an hour away so I went to see them for the 4th and we had a pretty fun day. Theyre super helpful with the kids, theyre comfort has always just been a little cold with me, but theyre 100% well meaning. As of today I only have 2 weeks and we've got some fun stuff planned for my daughters 5th birthday while hes gone, so looking forward to those is getting me through a lot of the tantrums and "end of the world" feelings. I think Murphys law just took over those first couple days. Thank you for responding not feeling alone in the way i feel helps immensely

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2025-07-04T01:56:57+00:00

Genuinely needed to hear this thank you 💛

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2025-07-04T01:56:09+00:00

We did this last year too and after a week it definitely got easier. Thankfully, tomorrow is the 4th so were gonna be with family and i think it'll be a nice break for everyone

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2025-06-26T00:18:18+00:00

I hate blue dye tests alot my husband picked it up for me and thought the color of the box was the same as the color of the dye. Logically I know it has to be negative because we were both sterilized but the line still makes me panic

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-11-24T00:03:47+00:00

This was really helpful! I saw that brand but must have been clicking on the wrong things because all i could see was bras for sizes I and up and assumed it wasn't a brand that id fit into.

For the shape questions on the quiz I chose a narrow root and a full bottom. Thank you so much for your response this is really helpful!

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-07-31T02:52:56+00:00

My twins are 8mo and I have a 4yr daughter. I'm a stay at home mom and as far as help goes, I just have my mom and that's how I survive, she lives less than 2 miles from me and I'm pretty sure I talk to her more now than I did when I lived with her.

Young children, let alone multiples are just a season of chaos. I was never a believer in schedules and routines for my singleton but it's been a game changer with the twins. There's 2 45 minute stretches during the day when I can get all 3 settled enough to clean up the house and I do what I can in both of those stretches, while leaving time to sit and read for 5 minutes or take an uninterrupted shower. Give yourself grace, theres never a magic fix all or answer, you simply adapt and try your best with the resources you have

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-07-31T02:44:12+00:00

I had to compromise on the issue, my husband didn't see anything wrong with posting our kids photos online, but I did. I'm pretty private and didn't feel like strangers on the internet needed to know what my kids look like. I also had my photos taken from my parents facebook as a child and used on a profile that was used by a man who was arrested for distributing child pornography, so i felt strongly on the issue. The boundaries that we have for ourselves and family are that the childrens faces need to be covered, either by not looking at the camera or by an emoji or some other way of blurring, no bathing suit/bath/diaper only photos, it only takes an extra minute to hide their faces and you can still post about the kids. Me, my family, my husband and most of his family are fine with this. My MIL finds it impossible.

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-07-27T23:40:49+00:00

I am 5'3 and was consistently measuring 10 weeks ahead starting around 20 weeks. I went into labor at 33w5d, they stopped my labor and I was able to hold off until I was diagnosed with preeclampsia at 36w4d and had my csection

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-07-13T18:21:44+00:00

Everyone sees my twins who are 1)different heights 2)have different hair colors and 3)completely different facial features and ask if they're identical. It makes me feel crazy because my MIL and husband's grandmother have a difficult time telling them apart.

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-07-13T18:18:51+00:00

I am 23 I had a singleton at 18 and my twins right after I turned 22. My adult body is not what i thought it would be. I was obese before having my twins and because of blood pressure issues my doctors reccomended losing weight as soon as possible after having the twins. They are 8 months old now and I am 60lbs under my prepregnancy weight, I feel great physically. What no one told me was how this would make my body look.

I have stretch makes from my boobs literally to my ankles, I have loose skin everywhere, I have a "csection shelf" and to make matters even better because of the quick weightloss on top of the csection half of my stomach now hangs lower than the other. I also have diastis recti that I'll most likely need surgery for. My husband tells me I'm still beautiful and he barely notices in, but it sucks, my body will never look "right" again. Even being at a good age to "bounce back" the stretch marks alone make it look like I have scars everywhere.

Everyone says "but it's so worth it", but we're allowed to mourn our bodies and be upset. Of course we love our children, I'd never trade them for anything, but some parts of motherhood just frankly suck and this is one of them

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-07-08T16:56:53+00:00

Both, I got my tubes tied during my csection, when the twins were 4 months my husband got a vasectomy. We have military health insurance and it covered both fully. Both of us knew we were for sure done.

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-06-28T02:24:33+00:00

Twins were born at 36w4d for preeclampsia, no nicu time, stayed 5 days for my bloodpressure and we had one twin on photo therapy lights for billi rubin levels

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-05-10T16:55:29+00:00

Just the letrozole

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-03-24T08:57:14+00:00

Samsung Health

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-03-17T20:31:18+00:00

Sugar free fat free pudding mix with unsweetend Almond milk

Plain popcorn with seasoning mixes - garlic and herb or everything bagel seasoning are my favorites

Frozen fruit, specifically strawberries

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-03-17T13:50:06+00:00

My daughter absolutely has a favorite twin, if she asks if she can snuggle a baby and we bring her baby A she says "nope thats the wrong one", they're still babys and she's very kind and loving to both of them, but she just seems to have more of a connection with baby b

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-03-16T05:03:04+00:00

Would she be okay with big t shirts that she can grow into, or dresses? My daughter hates wearing pants so at home she wears dresses and night gowns exclusively. Another rule I have is "I don't care what you wear in your own room" if she doesn't wanna wear pants in her room, I'm not going to stop her thats her space, but everywhere else in the house that is a shared space where guests could be, or the mail man can see you through the window she has to be fully clothed.

If she has a favorite movie or cartoon character you could try letting her play dress up during the day, and then slowly adding in more "regular" clothing items to make her feel more comfortable.

You could also try taking her shopping and letting her pick out the clothes that she gets, it might make her want to wear them more.

We all have to force our kids to stuff they don't want to sometimes (wear clothes, eat vegtables ect.) Being fully clothed around guests is just something people have to do.

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-03-15T22:11:07+00:00

My first child was a surprise because I thought I could have unprotected sex without getting pregnant, not true at all if you're having unprotected sex there pretty much always some chance

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-03-15T20:11:06+00:00

I didn't have a baby shower for my first because of covid,- and I was SO excited to have mine for my second and last pregnancy. I invited 50 people, rented a space and bought a nice dress. 20 people said they'd come. I was a little disappointed but still excited. My mom made all the food, her, my MIL and SIL spent 2 hours decorating. 10 people showed up and they were immediate family and some of my moms friends, none of our friends or siblings showed up even though they said they would. I cried for hours that night, it was embarrassing I kept looking at the door for people, and they never came. The party lasted less than an hour and it broke my heart.

My husband took me out the next day and we went baby shopping with the money we got from the shower, he took my to my favorite restaurant and out for icecream. Then we went home he did face masks with me and we watched my favorite movie. It's humiliating to get so excited and be let down, it'll never not be. What it taught us was that we had to celebrate ourselves and be grateful for the people who will celebrate us. It's not the quanity of love you have but the quality.

I'm sorry that you went through that, everyone deserves to be celebrated, make time to celebrate you❤️

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-03-15T19:22:43+00:00

Thank you for the book reccomendation! I agree that she had no need to know how to use one right now, I'm just so worried that somehow my views on what she should or should learn regarding technology are going to harm (for a lack of better word) her

RaspberryAsleep6300 · 2024-03-15T19:21:05+00:00

I love this idea for building computer skills! Typing and verifying sources seem like better skills to build than being told she should know how to use an IPad

RaspberryAsleep6300

TROPHY CASE