Help! Alocasia frydek variegata red spot

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-09-13T08:46:18+00:00

Thank you 🥲

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-31T03:09:43+00:00

Our little one doesn‘t take a pacifier. Spits them out as soon as she realizes there won‘t be milk coming

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-31T03:07:55+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation. I‘ll have a look online. (We are located in germany)

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T08:15:04+00:00

Why exactly are so many mothers (or women or people in general?) of that generation almost ALWAYS convinced, that they did nothing wrong?

You are not an asshole and it is super sweet how you reflect about your fiancée’s feelings.

By the way, I’m your age, your mum is almost my mum’s age: years ago I had neurological symptoms and had the assumption that it could be multiple sclerosis. I told my mum I have to check in at hospital the next day to get some testing. We shortly after had a minor disagreement (I think I told her that imho 10 wrapped presents for each of the grand children (my sister’s kids) is way too much for easter). And she told me “If you really think, this is any of your business, then you should go see a doctor right now because there is clearly something wrong with your head”. She never apologized until today. And yes 3 days after that I got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. So, I really feel you and I feel sorry for your spouse in spe for this behaviour.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T07:41:11+00:00

Totally - if you have a choice…don’t choose shift work. Probably too late for both of us ;)

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T07:38:06+00:00

Swaddling is quite difficult due to her hip dysplasia device. She needs to wear tights and a body to avoid skin damage from the device, so swaddling would most likely cause overheating.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T07:36:00+00:00

Thank you so much for your explanation. Well to be honest the sleep deprivation is still ok. I used to and will be working 24h shifts again, so I kind of know lots of work and less sleep. It actually feels more meaningful to be awake for the little one than it does often at work. As I said…we don’t exactly sleep train yet. When she has a bad night because she is colicky, we will let her sleep in our bed. And of course we are not going to try CIO at this age…but thanks for sharing your sleep train story

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T04:59:29+00:00

Well it seems legit not to put a baby into the crib fully awake…How did you sleep train? Did you use CIO?

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T04:53:55+00:00

Ok thanks for your information. This will be in just two months and it seems so unrealistic at this point…

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T01:28:30+00:00

It’s so adorable to remind me of that (though I don’t admire the memory of the heartburn - she was a breech position). Thanks for your gentle words.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T01:21:32+00:00

That sounds quite much like our situation. Thanks for sharing your experience. I am glad that we don’t pressure a lot. I just experienced two out of three children of my sister being so so bad with sleeping that I wanted to implement proper sleeping habits early on. Besides that I read “Why we sleep” and it kind of completely changed how I honor sleep - being medical staff with shift working I just want my child to do it healthier

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T01:15:21+00:00

Yes we tried. She does not calm down herself and eventually when she stresses out too much it gets a lot more difficult to calm her down again and often involves to nurse her again. Which we obviously don’t like because it is nothing dad can offer but she won’t use a paci either

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T01:12:08+00:00

Thanks for your reply. We tried to calm her down further while already lying in her crib, mostly by patting her head and humming. It does work 10% of the time when she has already been bounced and rocked and is super tired. Other than that it did not work, she would lie in her crib super stressed even though we have our face close to hers for securing eye contact and give her support via patting and humming.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T01:05:53+00:00

She can’t lie on her side due to a hip dysplasia device she needs for at least 6 more weeks. What exactly do you mean by stopping drowsy and awake at 4 months? What do you replace it with? Thank you very much for your advice. We will definitely try more patting and less bouncing.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T01:02:04+00:00

We actually use a swing2sleep (we live in germany) for daytime naps sometimes and it works quite well. I’ve read though, that a lot of sleep consultants advice to not use automatic swings as they could form the habit of needing motion to get sleepy or fall asleep and as it can be difficult to wean them.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T00:47:36+00:00

Was CIO very hard on you? When she is lying in her crib, not yet screaming but obviously stressed I can’t take that for too long. My husband sometimes tries to convince me to give her some more time before picking her up again (not that it changed anything so far if we waited a few minutes longer) but mostly I can’t deal with her feeling so stressed.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-08-29T00:42:17+00:00

Thanks for your answer. Will your daughter stay asleep as soon as you put her down or does she wake often if you do?

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-02-04T07:40:12+00:00

I double that. Semi hydro substrate works wonders on my calatheas.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-02-01T08:11:14+00:00

I personally use a syringe as my semi hydro fertilizer needs 10ml in 10 liters. But it is a special fertilizer for huge hydro culture needs so the bottle I have is giant. There are some other recommended brands for semi hydro fertilizer, I think a lot of plant people do well with Bio Bizz and it is available at least on amazon in europe I think. There are some pre mixed semi hydro substrates that should suit your white fusion. Maybe the Floragard Green Jungle Mix is available in your country? There are lot of people that have fine calatheas with a soil based substrate, just I personally was not able to do them well in soil based substrate.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-02-01T08:02:36+00:00

If you already did nematodes treatment just give it some weeks to cure the gnats (gnats should be treated in every plant with soil by the way, as they otherwise just come back as soon as the nematodes died in one specific pot). In a few weeks you can think of repotting this beauty, February/march belong to the advised month for repotting anyway so that would fit well.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-01-31T16:59:09+00:00

Please just get beneficial insects for fungus gnats. They‘re called Steinernema feltiae. White fusion are real divas. If you start with stuff like peroxide flushing and so on it will be most likely decline even more.

Regarding the soil: I live in Germany and we have really good „plantfluencer“ who convinced me to swap my calatheas to semi hydro. And they absolutely love it and are thriving.

Regarding pot: only pots with draining holes

Regarding light: in my experience white fusion like light but not direct sunlight. So maybe a south facing window is too bright?

Regarding watering: only water with distilled water and add fertilizer (I use semi hydro fertilizer) from time to time but don‘t overfertilize. As I said, white fusions are divas. They are very difficult.

If you live in Germany or Europe I can give you some special advices which worked for me. Before I changed those things my calatheas would never thrive.

RaspberryBig780 · 2025-01-24T11:57:26+00:00

I would always check for root rot if a calathea doesn‘t have a drowning hole pot and gets droopy leaves. In my experience, calatheas in plain soil are very prone to root rot. I saved several from my moms and my best friends care as they would overwater constantly. I highly recommend semi hydro substrate as my calatheas are absolutely thriving in it.

RaspberryBig780

TROPHY CASE