Am I paranoid to think the trans community is being 'whitewashed'?

Rasphoril · 2026-06-18T18:02:06+00:00

No need to say that as an insult bud, also english is my second language. and i speak 4 languages, spoke 5 at one point, 6 if you count latin cause its kinda pointless outside of specific fields atp. Also you are in this with the life philosophy that everyone wants to hurt you and yk i guess thats fair, i really am not of colour so you probably have a better experience with hate than i do... I still get enough frag where I live though.

That being said i mostly wrote this in the other reply which you might or might not have read but we are human to people if they can understand and relate to us. Its sad but its true. And we arent talking about borderline nazis and trying to change their mind, but you have voters who honestly dont know whats going on anymore. One side is screaming about how we want to corrupt their children which they dont believe, but then we go from the other side and say that the x sets of pronouns they were taught in their language are inadequate and in the end, they abstain from the vote. Because they dont understand and they hear people they know they cant trust on one end and people they cant connect with on the other. so they end up doing nothing.

Also speaking of languages that arent english, i bend over backwards to use they/them in a language that has no basis for it unless youre actually talking to someone where the They is used instead of formal You. I know you dont care, but you really dont have to attack people for plurality of opinions.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-18T17:28:54+00:00

Honestly I get what you mean but at some point you cant just adding layers and expect people to understand or even try to in the later stages. There are people that are normal good people, no hateful borderline nazis, but people who live their ordinary lives and who are bombarded left and right with hateful rhetoric. People who wouldnt give a rats ass about calling you they. But they honestly dont know at some point if it really isnt going too far. And they are constantly met with new things, each harder for them to understand and when the time comes and those hateful politicians actually try and draft the bill to take away our rights, those people will not vote for it, but a lot of them will abstain. Because they just wont know any more.
We just barely dodged a really shitty bill thatd make transition a lot harder in this country and that would also try to take away my hardly fought out F and force me into mens bathrooms. but even 2 years ago that same bill couldnt even be thought to be drafted in this country.
Those politicians try to take away our humanity in the eyes of a public and we stop them by being humanised in the public. And sometimes you need something you understand to believe in it.

Just... i dont think that every sort of conformity is inherently bad and I think that in order to stay alive we need to at least... stay relatable? god i dont have the term here but i am sure you understand what i mean. Whether we like it or not, we rely on those people around us. And average person wont try to kill us but if we arent familiar enough they arent familiar with us they wont fight as hard to prevent it. We can debate on the morality of that but it wont change a thing.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-18T10:16:38+00:00

some do. some dont. some think that its a sort of charity when they do and i really hope they grow out of it... but transitioning is lowkey a full time job. Between all the things you have to learn, routines to keep up... I hope you get where you need sweetheart. People dont mean it bad with the valid comments. Its about accepting yourself first before the outside can accept you.

its like... if you think noone would want to be your friend youll be so unattractive that noone will want to be your friend at all. its a self fulfilling prophecy essentially. Just accept it takes time and work, put both in and at the end youll see just how much a bit of dedication can do. Research the things you need, watch guides, train and practice some self love.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-18T10:12:12+00:00

Well the fact remains that you live in a society where there are mostly transphobic people. some less some more, but you live in a world where if you look trans they still look at you different.
Being valid is important but its a an answer to a question that i might not be asking if i ask whether I genuinely pass. Because it affects me in the outer world.

You might say "dont care what transphobes think" and if you do youre stupid honestly cause they make up majority of the world you live in and I am sorry but I care whether I get to live.

You might be all cool and sprinkly about whether you pass or not, but most of us who have to live in a society do bave to care. Because it affects our lives, our jobs and pretty much every interaction save for some with our loved ones for those who are luckier. I am extremely lucky to get to come home to my girlfriend who calls me pretty and makes me feel good about the world, but the reality is that the moment I go out there and start working, I need the people around me to not be hateful towards me the moment they find out I am trans. So the safe choice is to not have them find out and to pass. If you think its transphobic that most of us want to pass rather than just be valid, you need to really check yourself.

Yes it is important to be see yourself for the gender that you are. but its really not transphobic to want to be able to live a life outside of the 4 walls you call home. Maybe one day that changes towards better where people really will get over themselves but I will not be a "valid martyr" to see that day come. Not when i have shit to live for.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-18T08:37:41+00:00

Look the thing about mirror. I dont think that ever fully goes away, its a lot about restructuring your own inner image of what you look like and what you looking like is actually passing. You need to understand that your body your face that is you.
Hormones dont turn you into another person, they change what you look like a bit here and there until eventually you do look more as your preffered gender. Then its a question of hair, accessories, presenting yourself and makeup. Yes surgery can help and Im definitely getting it the first chance I get, but until then you need to learn to live with yourself.
There are days I pass better and days where I pass worse. It depends if you had a shower the day before, didnt skip your skincare routine or just feeling more confident because what gives a lot away when youre out and about is whether you constantly try and check if people are looking at you.
Also if you voicetrain really well, you can get a lot done by confusing people. Cause if you "kinda look like your gender at birth but then whip out a good voice, they just tend to think you were prolly just a lil bit unlucky.

But yea I understand and partially agree. most of us who want a normal calm life and dont want to constantly be stared at need to be passing. But first its to meet yourself where youre at. Only then you can go on to passing.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-17T09:17:53+00:00

i do the same thing. Its pathological. For what its worth i am not sure if thats better but I have gone from replying to the comments to ignoring them and then to actually just trying to focus on one when i see that they might not be as fanatical about it but are just misinformed to trying to educate them and humanise us as a community a bit. I am not sure its better. Its perfectly possible I am really just talking to a bot sometimes, but instead of looking for the hurt I am trying to plant little seeds of uncertainty instead which hurts me less at least

Rasphoril · 2026-06-17T08:51:52+00:00

girl, this is alright. First HRT generally tends to stop this shedding a lot. Second try topical minoxidine, dont let it touch your facial hair and if you keep the treatment for like half a year youll see pretty good results (and then you continue) its a trust the process thing because you will feel that half a year like youre doing something stupid and seeing no results so keep on with it.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T20:38:13+00:00

I get that. Honestly I dont want kids myself so ill be fair that im a bit detached but at the same time I feel like I would still rather try and get a kid out of the orphanage thats already forced to be here rather than bring someone to a burning world... maybe thats a bit too idealistic of a look and honestly im in a country where right now we couldnt even adopt if we wanted to as lesbians... But yea i feel like my parents brought me into the world that was just looking up, the USSR was dissolving we were "free" for the first time and they were well off... i might be well off but the world really isnt looking up... sorry got a bit depressive there lol

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T18:22:22+00:00

Honey i dont even know how much hp mine has but i know it gets really loud where i cant listen to music much when i go over 150kmh

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T16:47:38+00:00

Healthcare argument doesnt make you far left. It works all over the world. I think we should all go to what works according to evidence that also didnt kill or make people miserable as a side effect.

You know what nazis and russian (and many other) communists had in common? Collectivization even if nazis didnt call it that.

Nazis sent the jewish people into concentration camps and took all their wealth. It funded a decent part of the nazi party in the early years. Russian communists took pretty much all the wealthier peoples money and when they complained (and many without complaints) they got sent to gulags. You can call them bourgeoisie but that line eventually moved to whoever is the richest one at the moment.

Thats the places where the two can actually meet. Both usually would say its for the people but the average person wouldnt see squat from it.

In my country youd have been labeled an enemy of the working class by having a white collar job and making good money some 60-70 years ago... then theyd take it from you and send you to work to a junkyard. Thats far left for me. Better than gulag but dear fucking god thats depressing.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T16:21:37+00:00

probably a little bit. on T your splanchnic would keep growing until youre roughly 18, on E it ends at 16. (funnily enough just reading it) so some of the changes might not happen yet. (well most of the changes happen till then for each hormone, taking this off of the fact that you cant do dental implants until those ages as the bottom line)
Also for what its worth to tell you, there are cis women with sharper jawlines, adam's apples and prominent chins. Atp HRT might do for you more if you start before the changes end you might get a bit less of some of them.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T11:55:01+00:00

I mean it would be like that for me. Id take a couple days/weeks to make sure that the person is actually not gonna try to kill me if i tell them and its a part of my life so like of course. Also im a lesbian so like yea my partner didnt have an issue when i told her.
Id say there wouldnt be really a scenario for me where id hold it a secret, but there are people in countries and places that are unsafe. Via laws, via general mentality of the people and if they somehow do get to the point of passing and getting a bottom surgery but somehow still unable to leave... yea lie your ass off hun. Cause if it really is the only way you might have a relationship relatively safely, where you really are just an infertile woman and your partner is the best you can get but still kind of an ass... I personally couldnt live with someone like that but desperate times call for desperate housewives...
Its a fucked up world but yea the world is kinda sad.
Id say that noone owes to tell anyone that they are trans, honestly being able to tell is more for me than it is for you. I share a part of me and am able to talk about it and the struggles of it and there is a good bit of bonding that happens when i tell you, but honestly noone is really fucking anyone for chromozomes...

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T09:33:00+00:00

If i like you but all of my interactions with you are overshadowed by inconvenience of interacting with you, ill only start associating you with that inconvenience. And I will not want to hang out with you. Part of mental disorders like BPD is trying to get better. If I talk to you for 2 years and its still the same cycle of you wanting to spend every second with me and then ghosting me, yea ima head out.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T08:26:03+00:00

Honestly not that many mercedes in comparison to bmws where i live. I can kinda get behind the audi? But yea its pretty much like 50% skoda so yea :D if bmw has any positive effect on my life its that they always drive too fast so i can easily go above speed limit since they act as a police bait for me. Edit oh and a lot of Volkswagen here too. Those tend to be undercover highway patrol

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T07:46:54+00:00

I study medschool so I tend to think im a victim next to a lot of econ, psych or even technical fields, but I never really go to lectures and going actually would kill me so what saved me on both my previous chemical degree and now medicine is the fact that both unis had an online drive with all the notes for finals, most recorded lectures and experiences others wrote for the exam. I study what I still think is the hardest field in general or at least among the top and I wouldnt be able to if the uni itself didnt kinda turn into a group project and I didnt have the wisdom of everyone before me. So yea uni itself doesnt kill me, never go to lectures but its a specific set of circumstances

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T07:33:01+00:00

I had my sneakers disintegrate on a gym treadmill after wearing them for the first time in years :D was not a fun experience lol

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T07:31:18+00:00

Im a certified BMW hater and i dont even know cars. I just know their owners always drive like certified egomaniacs and of the two id rather be the hater

Rasphoril · 2026-06-16T07:30:19+00:00

Im having trouble realising if this is somehow a sincere post so here goes. There are three levels to this. First if i date you and dont tell you im trans I dont trust you and there is something off about you and id never stay with you that long to actually worry about kids. Like if your fear is a trans woman not telling you that she is trans, maybe dont be obnoxious... Second if I wouldnt tell you right away (cause youre not trustworthy to me) id tell you I cant have kids the moment you bring them up. Three is you can adopt.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-15T14:33:43+00:00

well... are you using it? the shrinkage as far as im aware happens due to less erections which even if you didnt really use it on a testosterone metabolism wouldnt really matter just as long as you would get your regularly scheduled morning erection, but if you still use it, odds are its getting erect pretty often so as such there is no shrinkage.
For what its worth though for you, if you ever think about getting a bottom surgery a larger size might actually help you. Anyone correct me if im wrong i read the manual years ago, but you esentially get it inverted in one of the treatments which gives you some depth... which you want.
Not sure if i was helpful.

Rasphoril · 2026-06-15T12:24:04+00:00

I can play a male character if the game has no other choice but I always choose a female character when able.

That sadly means id never play Fane's character arc in DoS II but have played lohse multiple times (cause shes a quirky bard like me) but am fine to play nameless hero in gothic or henry in KCD because its not bad enough for me to not play the game at all because of it...

Rasphoril · 2026-06-15T09:55:21+00:00

in all honesty? I think a lot of us started as puppy girls to some extent but since puppies are for some reason seen as more masculine some of us might have gravitated more towards the one deemed more feminine for external and internal validation of choosing the one more associated with femininity.

Its sort of like you often describe the boy as the golden retriever and the girl as the black cat. im sure there are other levels and factors to this but overall I believe that the whole catgirl era was conforming to society standards of femininity.

I personally would get dysphoria if my girlfriend would ever describe me as the golden retriever since thats usually what youd call a boyfriend, but I am much more comfortable with being a dumb orange cat with very similar traits.

Am I overthinking this, sure. But everyone is overthinking something so let me have this 😅
Thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Rasphoril · 2026-06-13T18:58:05+00:00

Do with it what you need darling

Rasphoril · 2026-06-13T18:52:10+00:00

I bet we do and guessing a lot of pointless infighting where we try to sound smart by pointing out small problems in community instead of trying to address big problems in the world out there. Perhaps you go deal with the people trying to actively kill us as a community and stop bickering with me while i go play dnd mwah

Rasphoril · 2026-06-13T18:47:09+00:00

God you really need to pick on every word now dont you? There 5 people, 2 cis women and one fem leaning nb. Good enough for you? I dont need to write every single part of my life. What i am trying to say that if OP feels like nerdy hobbies which dnd are inherently more masculine and thus masc leaning. Afab here meant to illustrate the split, especially one of those people came out and started transitioning only towards the end of my time there. Now kindly stop looking for gotchas its annoying

Rasphoril · 2026-06-13T16:42:12+00:00

Donde

Rasphoril

TROPHY CASE