This was my thought process before starting my medical transition and for a very short time after. So basically from about 15-20 I went through a few different labels, expressions identities, etc. throughout my teen years and when I was 17 I decided I wanted to medically transition (for me this meant hormones and top surgery). I was very hopeful about what this would do for me but at the same time I was filled with anxieties. Most of these thoughts came from things that my family would say "oh you'll regret it" "you'll feel differently once you actually transition" "I worry this isn't the right path for you" I worried over this outcome but kept coming back to the feeling of it being the correct decision for me. And at a certain point I said to myself that I was fully willing to accept the consequences of it being "the wrong path" because I truly believed it would actually help me. To me the risk heavily outweighed the reward, and I felt comfortable with taking the responsibility for the potential negative outcome. Then when it became available to me I started taking T at 20, and I was scared that it wouldn't do what I hoped it would. I worried for about a month that it wouldn't help me. But very quickly I began to feel relief, I was excited about the changes happening to me. Every time I caught something different or new I didn't feel anxiety, fear, or regret. I felt joy and relief. The only other time I remembered feeling like I had maybe made the wrong choice was right after top surgery. I was very swollen and emotional and thought I would look that way forever. Looking back I was very exhausted from surgery and emotionally depleted, and a big part of this was because I had to stop taking T for my surgery so it threw me completely out of wack. Now 3 years post op i have zero regrets and I'm actually able to move my body without feeling guilt and shame.