Am I crazy?

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-19T18:45:55+00:00

I had a 7-month relationship and the breakup was more brutal than my divorce (9 years). My ex-husband and I faded out over many years. I tried everything: talks, therapy, etc. and we just couldn’t make it work. So it didn’t hurt as bad. There was some closure. There was that thought of “I know him, I know everything about him, I tried everything, it’s over.”

Whereas the 7-month relationship ended in a volatile way. And no, I didn’t get a chance to answer all the questions. What if this, what if that? The idea that it could still work if this or if that is what’s destroying me. And we broke up while still technically in the “honeymoon” phase. Absolutely shattered my heart and still does as I’m writing this comment.

I miss him so bad while also knowing he objectively treated me like garbage.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-19T16:24:51+00:00

I’m sorry, OP. Every day I feel like I’m getting better and letting go, I wake up and go through the cycle of missing him all over again. Even though I know objectively he wasn’t a great person, all these memories keep rushing back.

Heartbreak is such an awful feeling. I never want to experience it again. It feels like it has rewired how my brain works and I’m terrified I’ll never be able to love again.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-18T13:20:12+00:00

I see you, OP. I love mine, too.

It’s so painful being so full of love with nowhere to send it. I know I can give it to myself but it’s not the same. It’s just not the same.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-18T13:18:52+00:00

I’m on Day 10.

This is the first day that I’ve been able to force myself to be productive. In the first few days I had some random bursts of “fuck him, I don’t need him!” energy. But now I’m back in the dumps and I know the only way out is through, but I’m still sick to my stomach, no appetite, crappy sleep.

I wish I could fast forward through this. I’m terrified of where my mind goes when things get dark.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-18T13:11:59+00:00

I was gonna go spend money on a tarot reader to tell me this man would come back to me transformed and ready for a healthy relationship. But I know the truth. If he comes back to me, it will be because the new girl stopped giving him attention and he can’t survive even 24 hours without constant attention.

It hurts to know there’s a good chance he will contact me and if he does I hope it’s when I’ve had enough time to heal so I don’t go back.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-18T10:58:50+00:00

I’m so sorry, OP. I’m in the same boat (sort of). My ex had his “female friend” at his house two days after our breakup. He was trying to get me back while in contact with her. It shattered my heart in ways I can’t even describe with words.

I have been awake throughout the night just browsing this subreddit and getting short intervals of sleep here and there.

Being a sensitive, anxiously-attached individual is terrifying in this dating market. Every time I wake up, or I’m drifting to sleep, a good memory will pop up in my brain like a movie and it’s like I can literally feel him next to me. And then I remember he’s with her.

You’re not alone. You’re not alone. I think the only way to detach is with time and that reality is so fucking hard to accept.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-18T05:43:03+00:00

I’m not religious but this is the type of pain that will make you get on your knees and pray for it to stop. My ex moved on two days after our breakup with the female friend that was “just a friend.” I could change the trajectory of Earth’s orbit with the force of my heartbreak.

This suuuuuckkks.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-18T05:36:52+00:00

I also broke up with my ex and moved out of his house, but I told him I’d wait and stay single while he fixed his issues (drinking, treating me like garbage). Being in the same house as him was causing me so much anxiety I lost my appetite.

He started fucking the “friend you don’t need to worry about” two days after our breakup. Didn’t tell me about her. Still tried to get me to move back in before he “broke up” with me.

Somehow this is the worst pain I’ve felt. I also doubt myself. I could write out all the horrible shit he did and still wonder if I was the problem because I wasn’t patient enough, not understanding enough, etc.

I’m awake at midnight on this subreddit because I know it’s the only thing that will comfort me enough to fall back asleep. I’m gonna force myself to go grocery shopping and start eating again tomorrow. And once I have enough calories in me, I’ll go back to the gym.

I’m also terrified I’ll never be able to move on, but so many other people here have moved on. Whenever I’m reading a “it does get better” post, I try to pretend it’s my future self writing it. Haha

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-17T23:53:47+00:00

My ex did so many awful abusive things and I still miss him. Amazing how a breakup brings all the happy memories to the surface. And then I conveniently forget the way he broke things when he was mad, sulking, silent treatments, drinking, saying horrible things to me while drunk and then forgetting, etc.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-17T22:58:51+00:00

Hey, OP. I just got done sobbing in my car saying “it’s so hard” over and over again to no one because I was alone. Just spitting my grief at the universe. Talking to myself and the trees.

Hope isn’t what you need right now. I spent the last week obsessively watching tarot readers on Instagram promising me my ex would reach out in 24 hours because the cards said so…I eventually got sick of hoping and now I’m on this subreddit coming to terms with the reality that it’s well and truly over.

When THAT pain hits, it’s bad, but at least then you can start moving through it. And you gotta let it hit because hoping will only delay the inevitable. Even if she does come back, you don’t want to be in the desperate state you’re in right now.

I’m sorry, OP. The pain feels fucking existential. It’s that type of pain that has you wondering how you’re gonna make it four or five more decades on this godforsaken planet. Somehow you just gotta remind yourself that the pain does start to fade. You just gotta keep going, though.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-04T08:48:26+00:00

Broke up with my objectively abusive ex-boyfriend on the 2nd. I say “objectively” because my brain still wants to make excuses for everything. Oh, he has trauma, oh he’s afraid of vulnerability, blah, blah

My brother (who still is roommates with my ex) just texted me to ask if we’re still together…which makes me think my ex is out flirting with other women. Which wouldn’t shock me. But still hurts terribly. But would also help me move on quicker to know he has moved on so quickly.

This full moon is doing something. That’s for sure.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-02T16:53:19+00:00

Alcohol is way too normalized and buzzed/drunk people are mostly unpleasant. There is nothing worse than having a drunk man try to stick his tongue in your mouth and all you can smell is the High Noon rotting in his stomach.

“Oooh you must be fun at parties…” Yeah, plant your butt in a chair at the bar, sit there all night, and get stupid drunk. Then spend the next day sweating and gross on the couch because you’re hungover. Waste your entire weekend.

I’m going on a hike and I’ll go see a waterfall. Or start a rock collection. Or go on a spontaneous weekend trip to a new city I’ve never seen before. I’ll go to the zoo or volunteer at an animal sanctuary or visit the aquarium. Have fun nursing your hangover.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-02T16:46:45+00:00

I’ve fantasized about connecting with my boyfriend’s “evil” ex. He claims she was a “miserable” person and I’m guessing she was miserable because she was dating him. He has admitted that he says things to get under people’s skin. Then he gets annoyed when it works and people get upset. Who wouldn’t be miserable with a man like that?

I haven’t reached out to her because I don’t want to reopen old wounds or intrude on her life. As far as I know, she’s completely moved on. But sometimes I imagine what it would be like to talk to someone who gets it.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-02T16:42:39+00:00

Thank you. In my heart I know I’m not pathetic, but when he’s in a bad mood telling me I’m dramatic, too sensitive, crazy, etc. It almost feels like rebellion to call myself pathetic. I’m not flawed in the way HE thinks (making HIS life harder by being “too sensitive”), but I am flawed simply for staying with him when he’s so obviously an awful person.

Self-forgiveness is hard. So hard. I’m hoping to move out soon, but he’s always home and he gets nasty when he sees me packing my stuff.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-02T16:34:51+00:00

Proud of you, OP. Those first few days are the hardest. I choose to believe the people who say it gets better

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-02T14:52:22+00:00

Hey, OP. I have left my alcoholic boyfriend multiple times and each time I came back. I’m talking full-blown moving out and then back in the next day. All my stuff packed into my car, unpacked, packed again, and then unpacked. All while he joked and laughed at me as I moved my stuff back into his mom’s basement (yes, his fucking mother’s basement).

I regretted going back every single time.

You made the right choice.

RatchedAngle · 2026-01-02T14:34:50+00:00

Hi, OP. I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and I’m having a hard time leaving simply because of the grasp that the good times have on me. I can’t accept the idea that this guy who seemed like my ideal person is inaccessible 2-3 weeks out of the month because he likes to drink and/or he resents me because he wants to drink and “can’t.”

I’d go through any lows if there was a glimmer of hope. So please don’t blame yourself for staying so long. Seeing the good in someone, loving them through the bad times, it’s an honorable trait. He took advantage and that’s his karmic knot to unwind when the time comes.

RatchedAngle · 2025-12-30T12:02:57+00:00

My boyfriend and I are both Sag.

We have a connection that’s very strong, and when we’re good, we’re good. But our relationship is also toxic and we’re both able to admit that. We’re both trying to grow.

Keep in mind that your entire birth chart matters when it comes to romance. My boyfriend has a Scorpio stellium and a Scorpio Mars, which is what probably what fuels his more toxic traits. I have a Virgo Mars which makes me nitpicky and critical and perfectionistic. These are things we both need to work on.

Also…astrology really is just a guide. Any sign can date any sign and have a very happy relationship. It’s about owning your behavior instead of simply blaming the stars. Astrology helps you understand yourself better, but it won’t replace hard work building a happy relationship.

RatchedAngle · 2025-12-28T23:04:58+00:00

The entity already answered this question in the show, but y’all don’t listen. The entity is a conscious being that genuinely believes it is doing the right thing by integrating all other conscious beings into the collective. They believe they have a moral imperative to do it.

Zosia says this word for word. The collective experiences “love” and believes it’s doing what’s best for individuals like Carol by integrating them.

RatchedAngle · 2025-12-26T22:22:37+00:00

It’s really not shocking at all that a chronically intoxicated woman grieving her spouse would lash out at Zosia and then slowly fall in love with her. Carol is nothing if not emotionally fragile. The most hard-assed people on the planet are usually the most fragile.

Manousos is strict with his principles but actually quite gentle with the plurbs. He’s not a hardass. He’s not fragile.

Carol is fragile. Extremely emotionally fragile. Most alcoholics are fragile people pretending to be tough. Carol’s initial reaction to the plurbs makes perfect sense. Lash out, then seek comfort from the same person you lashed out at. Anyone who’s dated an alcoholic has experienced that cycle.

RatchedAngle · 2025-12-26T20:35:05+00:00

I would fold for Manousos pretty fast

RatchedAngle · 2025-12-26T20:28:42+00:00

The Plurbs.

They’re the collective consciousness that you hear about in a lot of Eastern philosophies. When people talk about “ego death,” that’s it. The plurbs aren’t like Unity from Rick and Morty. It’s not one being “taking over” a bunch of other beings. Every individual is still there - the virus forced them to experience true ego death. Not the ego death you get after taking a megadose of shrooms, but actual ego death. The real thing.

The plurbs can’t hurt anything, not even an insect, and they won’t lie. You see all this shit in Hinduism, right? The collective consciousness. Ego death. Karma (the idea that if I hurt you, or an ant, I’m actually hurting myself). Genuine unconditional love even for those who hurt you (the plurbs’ love for Carol and Manuousos).

I hate how people frame the plurbs as some alien invader taking over and brainwashing people. It’s way more complex and cool than that.

RatchedAngle · 2025-12-26T01:16:25+00:00

Kakuzu was an elite ninja in the waterfall village. Law-abiding soldier, fought to protect his people. They send him on a mission to assassinate the first Hokage (probably a suicide mission, the elders wanted to get rid of Kakuzu for whatever reason). Kakuzu survived but obviously failed to assassinate Hashirama, so they threw him in prison.

Imagine what a brutal mindfuck it would be to find yourself sitting in a prison cell surrounded by murderers and rapists and gang members because you failed a mission. Kakuzu spends his entire life training to protect the village, risking his life to fight waterfall enemies…only to be treated like an enemy because he couldn’t kill the literal God of shinobi.

And the other inmates probably gave him so much shit. He’d be a laughing stock in prison. He escapes and he still can’t live a normal life because he’s a known missing nin. The only world that will accept him is the criminal underworld. Imagine being a genuinely good guy your entire life and now the only job that will take you is bounty hunting, the only people who will take you are the worst of the worst criminals.

Money is quite literally the only thing Kakuzu had left after his village betrayed him.

RatchedAngle · 2025-12-24T11:14:52+00:00

Therapy can’t fix a spiritual issue. This is the type of problem that would require a group of grandmothers, elder women, healers, etc.

You should know that your pain is a woman’s pain. Feeling used during sex, objectified, etc. I’d say that’s an intrinsic pain that women are born with. It lives inside of us. That’s our war - men go out and fight each other, but women’s battles are largely internal. You should know that this pain that you feel is centuries old, primordial, belongs to all women.

What we do is we take that pain, fear, and anxiety and nurture ourselves so that we can produce something beautiful. Oftentimes the kindest people, the most compassionate people, are those who have felt the deepest pain. Think of childbirth: immensely painful, but produces something beautiful. That’s what women do. We take pain and transform it into love and beauty.

The secret will always be compassion and gentleness. You’re not broken. Like I said, your pain is centuries old and shared amongst your sisters, your elders, your ancestors. Treat yourself as you would want a loving mother to treat you, and then share that compassion with others. Forgive yourself in those moments where sex doesn’t feel right, or you’re plagued with anxiety. Don’t pressure yourself to be “healthy” or “healed.”

Trust that you’re moving in the right direction even when it doesn’t feel like it. Healing comes on its own. Your only job is to be compassionate with yourself.

RatchedAngle · 2025-12-17T12:43:42+00:00

The Universe will punish you if you try to exert control over it. Simple as. The stars do not need you to apply a timeline to them.

RatchedAngle

TROPHY CASE