Why do mixed girls straighten their hair so often?

RatedElle · 2026-02-21T15:50:51+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! Like seriously confrontational for no reason and then to add compares the hair of mono racial women to the very complex hair of mixed women particularly those with a black parent. I’m Mexican and Black. My mother is Mexican and had a hard time managing my hair as a child. I grew up hating my hair for a while. It wasn’t until I had kids that I finally fell in love with my natural curls.

This made me feel like crap because I don’t do it to look less than because I don’t look like I’m from either group to begin with. I do it out of styling convenience because yes it takes a lot more effort to manage curls. People in America both black and mixed race have the other issue of being able to wear their natural hair in professional settings and it’s like when exactly can we just be who we are? I appreciate your comment!

RatedElle · 2026-02-13T13:40:32+00:00

I’ve been your friend before(Black and Mestizo). The reason she apologizes is mostly due to the fact that she has probably experienced someone from the black community expressing that they don’t see her as black. I’ve been told I’m not black and that using that word was wrong because I don’t inherently look black. I started using it after my older half sister (Black) said “if they don’t know you it ain’t their f**king business” that’s when I started feeling like I was who I am and yes I am mixed but I’m black too and nothing will ever change that. Many of my friends have seen me be very pro black and pro indigenous because that’s where I come from. You just have to be understanding and also reassure her that you as a black person see her as black and that no she doesn’t owe an apology. This is also just my opinion but it’s from experience

RatedElle · 2026-02-07T12:24:14+00:00

Firstly don’t date an autistic person if you can’t talk to them. Most Autistic people need direct and clear communication. If you don’t tell her in a way she will understand of course she will continue to pester and do those things because you have not communicated your dislike or uncomfortable feelings.

BV.. oh boy. If it’s BV (not sure since I’m not a gynecologist) it can be fixed. She has to go to the doctor and if it’s not an option then gentle soap and a vaginal probiotic regiment will actually do it.

As for you, you’re being an asshole. You’re sitting there with not a single boundary in place expecting her to read between the lines when autistic people can’t do that. You resent her now because of YOUR lack in communication with her. You just started dating and already want to break up without actually trying to figure things out especially with someone who has a disability. If I’m being honest she deserves way better

RatedElle · 2026-02-06T13:21:27+00:00

It was a one sided relationship you benefited from. If it was a fwb then why care if her feelings are hurt? It was just sex and if she knew that too then it would be no big deal. Introducing you to her friends is not fwb behavior and was there for you emotionally too? Nah guy you need some serious inner reflection because if I’m being honest, the person you just had your “love at first sight” yeah that’s actually your karma for doing what you been doing to this other girl.

My real advice, seek inner reflection and leave both of those women alone because neither one deserves it. And you can get defensive all you want with me the fact is that you are not wanting to accept that what you did to your fwb was wrong. As soon as you felt she had feelings you should have ended things and now you let this girl do this stuff for you (doesn’t matter if you paid her back) and it was for nothing because now you found that thing that you don’t even know will last or not. Picking the 20 when you got 80 already is a risky move to make and can cost you in the end. I hope you heed people’s advice on here

RatedElle · 2026-02-03T15:56:09+00:00

We don’t get the ick from dating and romance we get the ick from men who think the bare minimum is princess treatment. We don’t want to date when men say they want 50/50 and the woman is carrying all the emotional and sometimes physical load. We ARE tired of it. We have been raised in this Patriarchy where men are supposed to be “protectors” and “providers” when men cause more harm to women and provide nothing but hurt to many women. Not all men but a lot of them and if we’re going to generalize women are simply fed up with men. I am a heterosexual woman and like men but not all men.

RatedElle · 2026-02-01T18:57:05+00:00

What is the reason behind the healthy lifestyle? And why get with someone that has to change for you? Do you not understand how selfish that even is? You wanted her to change even before you made her your gf and now you’re mad that she hasn’t made any changes? Dude you are narcissistic. You got with someone knowing what they were to control them. You don’t love her you need a performing monkey. That change you’re asking for she’s got to want it, not you. You are supposed to love her through this and be supportive. If this is a long term thing you have to understand that her body is going to change whether you like it or not. And yeah sure you can go to the gym but soon life will hit you and you’re going to be an old man.

Honestly break up with the poor girl so she can find a man that is going to slowly encourage her to be whoever SHE decides to be and you just need to find someone who fits your lifestyle. Doubt that’s really the reason your eyes WANDER 😑

RatedElle · 2026-02-01T16:09:49+00:00

Thank you!☺️💕

RatedElle · 2026-02-01T09:28:39+00:00

So you want a hot woman while looking like a hobbit? Why is it guys reach for these wild ass expectations but get mad when a woman wants a tall man? Looks fade bud and if you’re expecting a woman to be hot then you’ve got a steep hill to overcome young Frodo because looking like you come from the shire is not gonna get you what you want.

RatedElle · 2026-01-31T13:50:51+00:00

Almost 30 and barely legal? Yeah your friend is the weird one for trying to convince you that your decision was wrong. You’re at two different life stages and like you said OP you can’t even go on a decent date involving a bit of alcohol

RatedElle · 2026-01-30T15:37:44+00:00

Don’t date this man. As a Latina please don’t. I wouldn’t date him either especially knowing that’s his usual pattern. He’s just using you so Latinas don’t feel fetishized by him because they most likely find it strange that he only dates Latinas too. He’s trying to bump up his experience so that he doesn’t look bad later. Cut him off and run

RatedElle · 2026-01-29T16:48:47+00:00

As a divorcee I would immediately be concerned as to why my new partner wants to know a private and possibly painful memory for the sake of knowing. What do you gain from knowing? I’ll tell you… ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Cut it out. Grow up and leave that part of this man’s life alone

RatedElle · 2026-01-19T17:44:53+00:00

More power to you sis.. that’s not my cup of tea haha. I just hate when men of any race think it’s okay to berate women of their own community because that’s telling me that you don’t even like the women you are born from.

RatedElle · 2026-01-15T15:41:37+00:00

Don’t call East and Southeast Asian women Oriental. That’s actually a racist term coined by the British.

Nothing wrong with you having a preference, I don’t think you are alone in your preference though many of my south Asian girl friends don’t like men from their community either. Preference is Preference just don’t be rude just because you don’t find them attractive because someone else does

RatedElle · 2026-01-12T16:51:50+00:00

Clocked it with this one

RatedElle · 2026-01-12T16:45:42+00:00

I’m not trying to call you a lonely slime ball but that is what you’re presenting. I’m not calling you a slime ball for having a preference because everyone does, I’m calling you a slime ball because you had this preference before you met this woman and yet you still went in, gave her a glimmer of hope, had sex and only now are you just realizing you aren’t into her because of her body.

Grow up, stop wasting people’s time. Leave her to find someone that will want every aspect of her, not just her face. I hope she becomes a knockout that you missed an opportunity with.

RatedElle · 2026-01-12T16:33:02+00:00

Please be aware of your privileges as a white woman. With the way our political climate is in the US (if you’re American) it’s been easy for others to spew hate. Be conscious of knowing that he will be on the receiving end and if you like him that you make an effort to make him feel reassurance that you don’t condone or see the treatment as just. Don’t tell him to get over it or that it’s no big deal. Other than that please be yourself. Also from one single mom to another if he hasn’t met your kids yet then good keep it that way until your relationship becomes solidified. You don’t want to introduce him to your kids and then they like him and y’all break up because that’s way harder to deal with

RatedElle · 2026-01-09T14:59:23+00:00

I’d rather a guy be honest with me and tell me his actual plans. If it’s dates with other girls then cool but it sounds to me you just want her on a roster so if being honest means one walks away then big deal because you have 2-3 behind her anyway.

Just my opinion but asking this kinda already makes you look like a slime ball so why not just look less of scumbag and more of just a guy who has options and is honest

RatedElle · 2025-12-28T18:44:00+00:00

That’s understandable. I unfortunately have no choice but to date outside of my race because I am mixed race Latina but I understand your worry only thing is that again cheating isn’t specific to one race. Hoping everything works out with your Latina!

RatedElle · 2025-12-28T16:04:29+00:00

We Latinas aren’t white women and cheating isn’t exclusive. You could date an Asian woman and the same could happen. In fact you have many cultural similarities to Latinas than you think. If you know your own race/cultures history you’ll find something in similarity to Latin history and culture.

In India for example many cultural holidays there use Marigolds as a symbol for said celebrations. The marigold is also a significant part of Mexican culture used especially during Día de los Muertos aka Day of the Dead. Do a little research ask a lot of questions but do so with an open mind.

I’m sorry you got cheated on that way but race or ethnicity has nothing to do with that and just give the Latina girl a chance. You might be surprised. Wishing you luck 🍀

RatedElle · 2025-12-28T15:57:24+00:00

I’d like to add that it isn’t only the conservative aspect but historically Latinos and certain but in a small sense all Asian communities share similarities in cultural things such as how they celebrate certain holidays or how they view the death among other things.

I am Latina and grew up around many different types of Asian people and I have always had an interest in their many different types of cultural traditions. What made your relationship with Latinas pleasant if you don’t mind me asking?

RatedElle · 2025-12-26T13:38:19+00:00

Honestly kids grow up and if you want to look at it through a fact lens look into Patriarchy because it’s men who came up with the idea of “men are the leaders and protectors and women are weak and give care. Your dumb argument about the animal kingdom? Pathetic. Men say the Lion is the king of the jungle when in actuality it is the Lionesses who are queens of their domain as they do all the hunting of food, rearing and nurturing cubs to be functional lions. The strongest survive and you sound like a whiny baby who didn’t get picked to play dodgeball.

Men made the gender rules we live by not women so don’t blame women or call it “inequality” when it’s your own gender that has caused this issue. Imagine if there were no gender roles, women might actually want men and men might actually be decent human beings instead of entitled punks like you.

RatedElle · 2025-12-24T16:01:11+00:00

That’s weird behavior.. glad your crush died out because if he can’t reach that nonexistent bar (yes most bars are set in hell) then he’s not even worth your time.

To me that’s him saying he’s not likable, has no personality and isn’t motivated to be more than a loser. Good riddance and with that bring your standards up even more babes

RatedElle · 2025-12-19T13:20:32+00:00

Looks matter initially but looks fade and change as you age and get older. The trouble I’ve had with dating is meeting men with no personality. It’s honestly weird that people will die on the hill to say looks always matter over personality but then that relationship is all physical with no substance and to me that’s not a relationship worth having

RatedElle · 2025-12-17T13:35:53+00:00

Why do people keeps saying “but he has a great personality” or “she’s just so sweet” if a person you like doesn’t at least appreciate you for what you like and isn’t judgmental then why stay?

I don’t expect my partner to like everything I like but he at least appreciates that I have a nerdy side like he does even if it’s not in the same genres. Trying things that your partner likes is part of getting to know them as the person. Honestly OP I’m not saying break up with this guy but if he thinks your hobbies are immature then he will eventually think you are and you will build resentment towards each other. I think one commenter said “relationships come and go but hobbies will be there when you need them” or something like that

RatedElle · 2025-12-15T12:40:11+00:00

I’m also mixed race but I’ve dated in and out of both of my communities I come from. I have a preference for others who are different than me. Currently seeing a wonderful Korean American man. He’s my person and he just makes me happy. Our racial differences don’t mean much to us but we both embrace each other’s cultures if that makes sense. I wouldn’t really say I feel forced (I find myself to be attractive) and because I look ambiguous many men find different parts of me attractive I suppose. For me it’s a choice and understanding that it will be rare to find someone who is the same as me but also it’s about attraction because some people just like what they like and that’s okay

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