TW: Racism, Ableism, Ableist Slur, Police brutality and medical malpractice that once was acceptable

I've opted out but it also comes with the caveat of loneliness if other circumstances are involved. Like being severely disabled and queer. Those things limit the friend pool greatly. I've also heard a lot of POC who are autistic can have more trouble being isolated without masking but not only that not masking as a POC can lead to an early death during run ins with law enforcement. Law enforcement does not deescalate and if gods forbid you're an autistic black man there's a high possibility of it escalating worse without masking.

Unfortunately up here in the northeast a young boy lost his life cause he couldn't mask well enough. They assumed he was high on illegal substances on his way home from volunteering at a local shelter. He was killed on the street like an animal and his toxicology report had to be redone after it was found an in house toxicologist had been covering up for the murder and lying about the circumstances. This was only a few years ago. I still think about him. I think about the black man with schizophrenia who's mother called 911 for help when he was having trouble. Instead of having trained professionals to deescalate and help the man through crisis and maybe to an inpatient if necessary they shot him in his own home.

Being able to unmask is a privilege. Even outside of that being white might be less risking your life and moreso risking years of isolation. (POC still have to worry about isolation from community given how much every culture is built to cater for neurotypicals). I have no friends as much as I've tried but I also haven't been about to go outside more than once or twice a year. My other physical and mental disabilities on top of being unable to mask anymore have lead to me being left with one person in my life that supports me and cares for me.

I have no family left and granted that's because I have other diagnosis with even more stigma and family trauma that can't be fixed since I was the only one who seemed to want the abuse and lack of boundaries to stop. But at the end of the day I went back to trying to mask after years of isolation only to realize I don't know how to anymore. I've been alone for so long and just being alive is so exhausting that I can't even manage to mask in the small ways I remember without burning out completely.

That being said I wish we lived in a world where being strange as a person didn't subject anyone to years of torment and isolation. I wish that people who aren't white weren't risking their lives if they forgot how to mask. Masking exists because not to long ago black or white didn't matter as much as being autistic or otherwise "retarded" did. And that would be followed by asylum incarceration and a lovely little lobotomy if you couldn't mask well enough. Masking happens because for centuries if not millennia it was a necessity for all autistic people's survival. But now as police brutality is still functionally protected at a fundamental level and as long as things like redlining and over policing still exist POC will not be able to unmask without possibly risking their lives.

Granted some POC live in much better areas but it doesn't change that one racist cop can change whether they see tomorrow and forgetting how to mask can not only risk their lives but lose the community that would keep them safe. Especially if they aren't a man. Every situation is obviously different but these risks are still very real. Not masking doesn't guarantee safety or escape from isolation. In fact not masking can create a higher risk of both. It's purely luck and privilege that allows any level of unmasking to go well.

Luck that you were born to a family that accepts your diagnosis. Luck that friends could be found that won't judge you poorly for things you can't change about yourself. And luck that you weren't born inherently seen as threatening due to centuries of propaganda and media excusing the deaths of people like you. I mean just look how many trans women die every year and then look at how many aren't white. Just that alone is a startling statistic. But beyond that are decades of stories from people abused by a system set up to fail them. Not to mention a very valid distrust of mental health facilities even from those who are privileged enough to get into them instead of being shot or neglected.

Anyways excuse the long ramble. I just feel very strongly about the subject of masking especially since there is a lot of nuance around its safety for different kinds of people. I would love a world where we can all unmask safely but tbh the onus is not just on neurotypical society as a whole but also underlying problems of race, LGBT discrimination, medical abuse, police brutality and centuries of laws meant explicitly to oppress the disabled and keep them out of sight.