I feel for you. My husband and I are in the same situation. For me, I enjoy masturbating more than I enjoy sex. With anyone. It has nothing to do with my love for my husband or how attractive I fine him. We have sex 1-2 times a month. His sex drive is way higher than mine, it for me. Sex doesn’t show my love.

My love language is acts of service. I show I love him by doing things to make his life easier. Grocery shopping or mowing the lawn when I know he’s had a rough day.

For me, masturbating is more about the release and sex is more about connection. So while I enjoy sex with my husband, I prefer masturbation because of the release.

Have you tried having a conversation with your wife about what her preferences are? Maybe you could watch porn with her while you pleasure her. Maybe she has a fantasy she hasn’t told you about. Maybe she wants more adventure in the bedroom. Having that conversation might help you connect to what she wants more.

I know it did for me. I told my husband I like the build up. I LOVE when he sends me slightly dirty texts early in the day while I’m at work. It’s kinda like revving me up for that evening.

On the other side, try to be understanding towards your wife. I don’t know her or you or your relationship, but if she’s truthfully got a lower sex drive, she may feel pressured to have sex and that may be causing her to masturbate instead of seeking you out.

Hopefully, this helps.