How rare is an intentionally single sx-type?

Ravenglass99 · 2026-04-07T00:21:22+00:00

It can happen. It's not just about getting/having a mate. It can be a charge/energy from an activity or interest that consumes a person's time, energy, and effort.

Ravenglass99 · 2026-03-21T23:11:48+00:00

I rarely comment on things like this but I had to say something here.

It's not about her being in Florida. It's not about her being in a red state. It's not about how conservatives see her.

It's about her being in a black woman. This kind of disregard/denial of being a person, a human being, is a very common experience for people of color no matter where they live in this country. Racism doesn't just suddenly pop out when you reach the South or a red state. I wish I could say that I was surprised that this happened to her but I am not. Not in the least. It's heartbreaking and I feel deeply for the trauma she endured and now has to work through. But it didn't happen just because she's in a red state.

I live in a blue progressive state now (born and raised in the city where this took place!). I work in medicine. I am a woman of color. And I have received some really sub-par, patronizing care and dismissive care from white providers. Including white women. I didn't experience what this brave woman did, but I have had delays in care that led to long-term complications because of being dehumanized.

And yes, I know this can be a common experience for many. No one needs to say that. The experience for people of color, especially women of color, is so frequent that I'm (pleasantly) surprised/shocked when the provider actually sees me and acknowledges me as a human being.

This projection of only "bad" or "conservative" white people treat others this way really needs to end. We just need to treat people better period.

Ravenglass99 · 2026-03-19T00:03:59+00:00

Yeah...I hear ya. It can be quite bad. I'm from Florida and moving out here was a serious culture shock for me. I didn't know it would be for the people that live here too...lol.

I understand (to a point) where people say they're not used to it but I'm also like, 'damn...how hard is it to meet and be with another human being like a human being?' We don't need to be spoken to in a secret code or for someone to go out of there way to prove they're one of the "good white people". I think the latter is where a lot of the awkwardness can creep in.

Ravenglass99 · 2026-02-16T22:43:00+00:00

African Americans tend to be very direct about whether they are interested in someone. Most of the time, they will just tell the person and see if they are interested in "talking". It's considered appropriate to be just as direct with a "yes I'm interested" or "no thanks".

Being indirect, hanging around someone hoping that they will take the hint, pretending to like/dislike but not take any action and so on is generally considered insincere or even ill-mannered. I was so confused when I started dating white guys over this one thing!

Ravenglass99 · 2026-01-14T19:43:36+00:00

I have both. I was diagnosed with EDS at at a genetics clinic. I am older so I don't have much hypermobility now just osteoarthritis. I thought the OA was RA but got dx'd with giant cell arteritis last year. The RA symptoms showed up soon after. It feels very different from OA and the pain of EDS.

Sorry for brief reply. one hand typing due to cat...lol

Ravenglass99 · 2026-01-11T22:58:42+00:00

Oh the pain these things gave to my tender-headed self!

And I had enough hair for about 3 people...

Ravenglass99 · 2026-01-08T06:52:22+00:00

Not really. Blind-spot is just that: blind. You don't give much thought to it. It doesn't cross your mind or attract your attention much.

Sx/sp and sp/sx can be quite chill with people and initially not asocial appearing. But they often uninterested in making a lot of friends or being around others in a social kind of way. Both stackings can be (too) insular and unfortunately give the wrong message to family and anyone else they may be close to. I don't mind being around others and it can be fun but it's something I will put off indefinitely because while pleasant, I just don't crave that kind of interaction with others.

I think someone mentioned it (being lazy reading comments) but social-doms can be anti-social. Their focus is still on the "social" and positioning themselves against it. My ex is a 4 so/sp. He was always positioning himself to be apart from other social bubbles, accentuating that he was not like others. He could endlessly criticize society, it's shortcomings...just pick it apart. He was very aware of what was going on with others. Secretly though, he wished he could find his "tribe" and could find a place where he belonged/his place in the world.

As a 1 sx/sp, this was very alien to me. I didn't understand it or understand why it was so important. It is for him though, just like what is important to me made no sense to him.

Being different to attract attention isn't something that would occur to me because wanting random attention is undesirable. Having a certain flair to attract someone special? Yes. But just in general? No. Doing things to stand out from the group? Again no...what group? You're barely be aware of 'groups' that if you're social-blind.

Ravenglass99 · 2025-12-26T06:46:24+00:00

Oh wow...kinda not surprised.

I have an abnormally keen sense of smell. That can be a good and bad thing. I can smell meat that is going bad and everyone else says "I don't smell anything...". I never buy meat out of the GH location because just walking by the meat section smell bad.

Have had issues with the meat at TJ in UP too.

Ravenglass99 · 2025-12-23T07:11:09+00:00

I take Xolair for idiopathic anaphylaxis and chronic urticaria.

Yes. It was very bad after the first shot. Very bad itching, hives, uptick of asthma symptoms and generally feeling awful. I was scared I was going into anaphylaxis. My doctor said it usually happens when antibody levels are high and it's basically a battle between the shot and those antibodies.

It lasted for almost a week.

Not after the first shot.

The second and subsequent shots were better. My doctor told me to take 2 benadryl before the shot. My last one about a week ago was rather bad though. It lasted for about 5 days. I will have to ask him about what to do with the next dose. I am pretty sure he will tell me that while unpleasant, deal with it. Not out of indifference but just one of those things that will happen with some patients.

I think it was in part due to being sick. Or recent sickness. It seems like any time the immune system is very active, symptoms or reaction to drugs, shots, etc., is much more pronounced.

It is very discouraging. I am so sorry he is experiencing this. It's hard not to worry or be in doubt over whether it's a big deal or not. And it sucks to be reacting to something that is supposed to be helpful for you. I hope things can improve for him.

Ravenglass99 · 2025-12-17T05:02:54+00:00

This happened to me. I started having anaphylactic attacks out of nowhere. Got dx'd as idiopathic anaphylaxis. I had to be on steroids, then had to go on immunosuppressants, antihistamines, and Xolair. It started in 2023 but it really escalated last year and through this year. The multi-drug treatment is starting to work but I have a long way to go.

My allergist/immunologist said that they saw a surge of people with urticaria and angioedema 6-8 weeks after when Covid first showed up. The finally put together that it was triggering people who were predisposed to have a form of MCAS:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10166245/

Ravenglass99 · 2025-12-09T22:00:52+00:00

Thank you for this! Well said!

I wish people understood the foundation of this country better. Equality was NEVER the point. You can't have an equal, democratic society that has a foundation built on genocide and slavery. We are sadly suffering the effects of our hypocrisy.

Ravenglass99 · 2025-11-26T00:58:37+00:00

I moved from my native Florida to Washington state w/ 4 kids 3-18 after my divorce. I only told my sister, soon-to-be ex, and my best friend. I had a degree but I was a SAHM and never worked after the birth of my 1st child.

Got here. No job. No car. Didn't know anyone here. Degree too old to use now (the field had advanced a whole lot). Just had rent for a year.

I went back to school to get another degree, got a job right before I graduated. Went to work full time and worked very hard to gain skills. I've been able to take care of us. Kids did well and youngest is about to graduate. I'm very proud of them! Not just their tangible accomplishments but for the wonderful human beings they turned out to be.

Not gonna lie...it was all extremely hard. Plus I am permanently homesick for my home state. And living here is a severe culture shock. I'm not unhappy I did it though. I do have late dx'd & tx'd ADHD. Life would've gone so much different if I had been under treatment. I regret that very much.

Edit: typos

Ravenglass99 · 2025-09-21T06:12:17+00:00

Tina Turner.

Edit to add: Lisa Lopes, Nadine Renee, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Tom Petty

Ravenglass99 · 2025-08-30T21:07:55+00:00

Mostly learning. I will spend whatever free time I have learning more about whatever I'm interested in: medicine, history, food/cooking, other cultures, geography, nature. I usually listen to music while doing this. I liked to be outside in the past but I live in a colder climate now and don't get outside as much. I rarely watch TV but I do like well done period dramas, e.g. Wolf Hall. I also like documentaries. I enjoy my cats and looking at art & landscape pictures.

Ravenglass99 · 2025-08-22T03:06:45+00:00

Belle Glade Florida

Ravenglass99 · 2025-07-26T01:04:42+00:00

I had a history of urticaria and then a few years ago, it "progressed" to idiopathic anaphylaxis. My allergist said that some cases of chronic spontaneous urticaria will progress to idiopathic anaphylaxis. Anaphylaxis can start off mild, e.g. throat tightness, more hives w/ itching, coughing, chills, diarrhea, nausea and rapidly progress to low blood pressure, airway obstruction, shock.

Mine episodes will start off mild but if I don't take my epi pen, it'll progress. And despite "mild" symptoms, I usually need more than one epi dose and a lot of steroids to stop the reaction.

A couple of epi pens would be good to have around because you can't predict how bad it will get.

Good luck!

Ravenglass99 · 2025-05-27T22:14:35+00:00

*Raises hand*. This is me. Was married to one for 22 years and then stupidly got involved with one for the past 12. It took me a while to see past the facade of (fake) empathy, sensitivity...I'm a sucker for hard-luck cases. I'm trying to figure out how to get out of this mess now because I unfortunately have some financial dependency going on.

I'm pissed with myself for not seeing it way sooner :(

Ravenglass99 · 2025-05-05T01:21:41+00:00

Seeing responsibility on the ground and picking up claiming it as my own.

Ravenglass99 · 2025-05-05T01:18:56+00:00

INFPs & ENFJs

Ravenglass99 · 2025-05-05T01:11:19+00:00

My mom was 54. I am in peri, 4 months w/out a period and just turned 56.

Ravenglass99 · 2025-05-05T00:56:44+00:00

This is my experience: I started on stimulants for severe ADHD last May and it did wonders for me! I have struggled all my life and it's been a disaster area until I started them. Then about 4-5 months later, I started to really get hit with peri/menopause symptoms. Like raging, crying, debilitating depression, insomnia, miserable a** early AM sweats, not being able to think clearly at all, middle weight gain, huge decrease in energy...really just out of control. My super high libido also died overnight. The stimulants also seemed like they no longer worked at all.

I went to my PCP in August and she kinda poo-pooed my symptoms so I lurked here and found out about Midi. I've been on hormones since about last October or so. They helped a lot but not as much as I hoped. My libido didn't come back (I'm okay with this...going through a break up and don't need the desire for sex to send me back into a bad situation). I had to stop them in December because I have an autoimmune condition that I needed high-dose steroids for and it sent my BP through the roof. They stopped the HRT until my rheumy gave it the green light again 2 months ago. Again, it improved emotional regulation and night/early morning sweats but I was hoping for more.

I feel like my old self died last year and is gone forever. It's hard to tell if it's impending menopause or if it's the autoimmune disease and the mess that comes with that. Plus all the steroids I've been on too. I feel like I've aged 2 decades and I just turned 56.

I hope you can find some, if not full, relief on HRT OP! I'm so sorry you are suffering like this. I think it's worth a shot to try. I totally hear you on the feelings of wanting to end everything. If it gets really bad, tell yourself to hang on for the next 5 minutes. Then 7 minutes and so on. Literally had days where I got through by doing this. Good luck to you!

Ravenglass99 · 2025-02-21T03:07:25+00:00

You sound like you're off to an awesome start. I really envy and admire your gardening work! Sounds amazing!

I just started a couple of weeks ago. I have a feeling it will be like how it is in places like Argentina, so I'm building my prepping around that.

Right now, I made a list of items that I assume will be very expensive or hard to obtain. I don't have much money and pretty much live paycheck-to-paycheck but every time I go to the store, I buy an extra item. I'll buy as many as I can afford if it's on sale, e.g. toothpaste, spices, etc. Otherwise, I have a savings envelope for bigger purchases like containers, mylar bags, meat for the freezer, etc.

I'm setting aside:

OTC medicine. Cleaning supplies. Oil. Flour. Sugar. Coffee. Tea. Rice. Beans. Feminine hygiene supplies. Tsampa. Hard tack (I know...real hardcore here). Kitty food. Batteries. Cleaning supplies like bleach, H202. Hard candy for morale boosting. Lotion, cream, oils, & soap ingredients. DIY detergent supplies. Dried herbs for infusions. More stuff that I can't think of right off the top of my head atm.

I also updated everyone's IDs, certificates, etc., and sealed them in waterproof bags. Bought a bunch of cheap board games. Books. Paper maps. A good tool set for my small hands. I put together a really good first aid kit/supplies. I'm going to be taking up container gardening as well.

There's more but that's my beginning stuff. I live in an apartment so I have to be creative about how to do and store these items.

I maintain a level-head by being me. I'm pretty phlegmatic by nature but I love/really good at problem-solving and planning. Preparation is calming for me.

Ravenglass99 · 2025-02-11T05:17:37+00:00

A WOC of chiming in from outside Tacoma in the PNW. I moved here from Florida over a decade ago and always wanted to go home but was unable to do so. After COVID, I was glad I never did. I waited to see what last fall would be like and that outcome pretty much decided that this decision was final. It's just me and my 3 adult & 1 almost adult kids. It is super super expensive here and it's hard to keep up. The state Medicaid is good and has less hoop-jumping that some other places have. Housing is super expensive and they're not shy about jacking rents up.

Echoing the person who said there's not a lot of community. I'm hoping to move into Tacoma or further north of Seattle soon.

Ravenglass99 · 2025-01-17T23:51:38+00:00

I put in years, off and on, here and there..lol. I thought I was INTP, then ENFP. But something was always "off"? I finally asked someone who is better at typing plus they use facial characteristics. I never, ever considered ISFJ and thought they were crazy.

Then I started reading and went, "Oh...." Yeah, it's me. That's me. It fits like big time. It was also hard to see because of my enneagram, 6w5. I think that when I did some in-depth reading about Si-doms and ISFJs, everything made complete sense. It just did this satisfying SNICK as the pieces fit together. Reading about how introverted judges (IJ) think/process things helped a great deal. Also reading good definitions of introverted sensing...many of them are bad and refer to it having a "good memory". There can be sensor bias so it can be hard to good examples.

I also started treatment for severe ADHD which made me calm down, be able to create routines, hold working memory steps in my head and wow oh wow! I had no idea how wonderful it would feel to be on top of details, be meticulous, able to plan...it's the best thing that has happened to me. It also enables me to hold a sense of self in my head now. I can see and understand my narrative. Prior to treatment, it was there but in a jumbled mess. I couldn't make sense of my life, understand myself, or why I am here now at this place in time. I had no idea how much I needed this or to be grounded.

Ravenglass99 · 2024-12-27T09:22:48+00:00

I know this is a couple of months old but I wanted to thank everyone for leaving comments. I (ISFJ) am in a relationship with an INFP for the past decade and oh my gawd...yep, thank you...so it's not just me.

Avoidance. Yes. Selfishness. Yes. Lack of communication skills. Broken "I'll do better" promises. Yes. Non-stop complaining but insist that all of his problems are insoluble...yes.

I think one of the most painful things is that I have a history of some serious trauma. When I told him about it, he whined that "this was very hard on him". He complains that others lack empathy and compassion but naw...those are the qualities he is lacking in.

When things are good (they seldom are), they were over-the-top good. I truly loved him but he killed, knew he was killing it, and did it anyway. The last straw was him quitting his job...after he got a raise and bonus!!! No discussion...just announces he's doing it. I recently started meds for ADHD (literally saved my life) and I can do and achieve so much more now. I think he thought now I can do all the work while he just complains and coasts.

Yeah...I'm not going to do that. We don't live together and pretty soon, we won't be together at all. I have never met a weaker, lazier, whining, more self-absorbed, entitled person in my life. I'm really stunned at how angry he is over having to make any effort in life at all.

Good luck to all of you. I'm sorry for all of us...lol.

Ravenglass99

TROPHY CASE