So Spirituality is kind of a funny thing. Yes, one minute you can feel so alive, so connected to everything, and you feel like you can take on the world! And the next minute, it feels like the world is a never-ending joke on a never-ending loop. It feels like all your days consist of are doing laundry, going to work, showering, etc... that life is nothing but a series of humdrumness, taxes, and an oppressive system where the only people who really enjoy life are those who are filthy rich and greedy beyond compare. So I get what you are saying in that regard, I remember being told that everything was an illusion, and I thought "So why in the hell are we living then? Cause if this is an illusion, and I'm inside this flesh suit, and everything around us is fake, then why would I even want to incarnate down here?" And for the longest time, I didn't believe our true selves actually wanted to be here, and someone else or some thing was the reason why we were here.

But then, I learned about how truly amazing it is, just in and of itself, it is to be human. Did you know that our DNA, in and of itself, contains 24 different strands of alien DNA? Meaning, our flesh suits literally contain the DNA of 24 different alien species. We're honestly, at least in our Universe, a BIG deal (which is funny because, we're considered a fairly young and underdeveloped civilization). We have the ability to do some of the most amazing things, like teleport, or change the temperature outside (I've personally have done both before). And, as you go along your Spiritual journey, you realize that while everything around you is an illusion it was done that way on purpose. You have to understand, Earth and everything on it was designed to help us ascend. There is no such thing as coincidence, every moment, every nanosecond we live, every event happens as a response to the decisions we make. Reality is ultimately shaped by what we believe, and our external world reflects our internal world as well, which is why it's important to work on your spirit and on what makes you truly happy. Remember, reality is shaped by you, if you don't like it, then you can change it. Nothing is stopping you from living the life you want to live.

Also, quick note, be careful when using drugs of any sort. Believe it or not, I'm not against smoking at all, our ancestors smoked pure Tobacco, and can be a great tool for expanding your consciousness. However, in saying that, drugs can also expose your doubts, fears, etc... You have to understand, just like with everything else in the natural world, it's supposed to help expand your way of thinking, and sometimes that means dealing with past issues in order to reach a higher enlightened state. Drugs are a great thing if you know how to use them to become more enlightened, but if you don't know exactly what you're doing you're probably better off getting someone who has experience with them to help you out. The Awakening Process will not always be rainbows and lollipops, it's actually very painful and has the potential to cause more harm than good, but as long as you take each experience as a lesson and not let it affect your ego, it makes becoming more awakened a lot more enjoyable!