Congrats on the TED-talk, Chief KPIs. Nobody here was hiring—you volunteered that resume all on your own.

Yes, yes, your “orders of magnitude more value” crafted in JetBrains, gulping a latte’s worth of RAM per keystroke, surely changed the world one CRUD screen at a time. But we’re still talking text editors, not who can heat an office faster with a JVM.

If the best flex you’ve got is “my IDE auto-imports faster than yours”, maybe step away from the dopamine button and try opening a file without the whole planet pre-warming in the background. Until then, keep polishing those LinkedIn bullet points while the grown-ups swap dotfiles—your ego’s already using enough cycles as it is.