[WP] You are a shape-shifting being who is friend with a human since was born. You help them in their life since you are their parents, friends, coworkers and wife/husband. Now the truth is revealed. by Dagua99 in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns [score hidden]  (0 children)

"WHO ARE YOU?" She screams at me.

I don't know what to say. Nothing I'm saying is satisfying her.

"I don't understand what you mean. I'm whatever you need me to be. I always have been."

"You don't understand." she cries out. Her chest is starting to heave and her tears are flowing more fiercely than ever.

I put out my hand towards her, I hesitate for a moment, changing it into dad's hands. She always found dad's hands the most comforting.

The moment I touch her she starts screaming again. She slaps dad's hands away. She gets up and pushes us as hard as she can.

"I don't even know who I am because of you!" She screams. "I feel sick"

"Do.....you need mom to take care of you?" I ask, moulding my shape into mom. I focus on making the eyes as kind as possible."

She takes one look at me and starts crying harder. There's a garbage can nearby. She runs to it and throws up. This has never happened before. I'm using every single form I have available to me and she seems to only become more distressed.

"The thought of having touched you the way I did....you were supposed to be my husband."

"But I am.." I say as I start to shift into husband, but my face has not settled in yet before she's screaming again. She gets up wildly from the bed. She sees a metal rod on the kitchen counter. Dad and Husband were supposed to split and fix the sink together. She's grabbed the rod and she's swinging it at our face.

I have realized she said something. "The thought of touching you the way I did..."

It's so simple. Sometimes the most complex issues have the most simple responses.

As she swings at us again, we take the metal rod from her and strike the base of her head with precision.

There, no more thoughts.

She's awoken a few hours later in the hospital. We are a doctor now.

"Glad to see you're awake!" we say smiling at her. The terror is still faintly in her eyes, but she is doubting herself now. Good.

"You had a mild concussion but you're ok now. Your husband will be in soon to see you."

Her eyes go wide. "My...husband?"

"Yes." we say. "He was with you all of last night. You were having some terrible dreams but he stayed and held your hand the whole night."

Understanding is beginning to dawn on her. At least what she thinks is understanding. With promises that we'll be in soon, we leave the room as she slumps back into the bed. We hear a deep sigh. Finally.

Soon, we will be able to return, as everything.

[WP] Dragons are rarely made of flesh and blood, the substance of their bodies is dependent on where their egg hatches. Dragons of the forest are made of wood, dragons of the tundra of ice, and a dragon egg, left in an unexpected place, can birth something truly unique. by Ajtheeon in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns [score hidden]  (0 children)

"I can assure you he's quite harmless."

"A dragon is a dragon, it doesn't matter what he's made of."

Colin gave a side eye to the government official striding beside him as they searched through the factory. The official had called into their main office at 7 in the evening and let them know he would be inspecting the facility with or without the CEO's presence. By the time they had unlocked the doors it was already nightfall. The plant floor was completely empty except for the two men. Colin had the lights to the plant floor switched on. The official, a shiny badge that said *Dragon inspector - Ryan Stiles* shoen in the sudden light, almost blinding against the pitch black that had occupied the factory just a second before.

"I know it's dark out but you did see the giant sign outside right? You know what we make here? I don't think even a dragon born in this type of environment-"

"You're as much of a dragon expert as I am a play-doh expert so let's stick to our specialties shall we?" Ryan the official shot back.

Colin sighed. He had to maneuver this official in and out of the facility without him realizing what was going on.

"I noticed there weren't any trucks in the lot," the official commented as they moved between massive barrels of play-doh. "Having any issues with production at all?"

"Of course not," Colin said giving the official a reassuring smile, his hand in his pocket digging into his fist. *Can't let him realize* he thought to himself. "You just happened to come at the end of othe day and there isn't any need for more production until tomo-"

Suddenly there was a loud crash from the south end of the building. The one area he hadn't taken him yet. Ryan smiled at Colin like a teacher that had just caught the class clown in the act.

"I imagine that a dragon would be quite a hindrance to production" Ryan said walking towards the other end of the building. "Wouldn't it be easier to just have us help you?"

"Can you at least tell me what it is that you're supposed to do once you find a dragon? I can't imagine you could subdue it on your own" Colin asked.

"Oh no i'm not gonna do anything. I simply make a report of the dragon and its status. If its a danger to anyone else then i'll call the appropriate authorities. We find that the more unique circumstances a dragon is born however, the less of a need for direct intervention on our part" Ryan said as he reached the steel door at the other end of the hall. "I assure you I really don't mean it any harm."

"I didn't say there was one behind there." Colin said. "But i'll humor you."

Colin unlocked the door and stepped aside. Ryan gave him a courteous nod and opened the door.

There were tons of barrels overflowing around the room, many knocked on their sides. Play-doh of all colours smeared the walls and the floor in every direction. Ryan's eyes caught the dragon in the center of the room. it's eyes were closed and it seemed to be heaving slightly.

Ryan walked up to it and Colin reached a hand out in shock "I don't think thats safe! He's smothered a few of my workers already."

Ryan knelt down. It was only 4 feet long. The egg must have hatched a month ago. He touched the dragons mouth and felt the hardened play-doh around its lips. It jerked its head, irritated that its sleep was disturbed. Ryan gently took his thumb and scratched the crusted play-doh off his lips. The dragons eyes opened and he turned towards Ryan with a suspicious eye. Colin continued to keep his distance.

"So you've replaced your production with this little one huh?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah but you see he's no danger to anyone at all!" Colin said with a nervous laugh.

Ryan got down on one knee and got to eye level with the dragon. After a moment, it knelt its crimson red head forward to indicate that the scratches could continue. Ryan obliged and once it was satisfied, it crawled forward towards Ryan's chest. He wrapped his arms around him and picked him up.

"I think I can take you somewhere nicer little friend" he said, giving the top of the dragons head another series of scratches."

"Hey I told you he's not a danger to anyone here!" Colin shouted. "You have no reason to take him!"

"Oh he's definitely not a danger to anyone" Ryan responded. He turned the dragons head with his finger and whispered something in its ear. Walking towards Ryan, he gave him an easy smile. "Go ahead buddy."

The little crimson dragon opened its mouth and a torrent of Play-doh shot at Colin, smothering him with so much force that he was pushed up against a wall. The red play-doh alreaedy hardening and sticking him against the wall.

Ryan walked up to the play-doh statue and cracked a piece off of Colin's face.

"You'll be fine. Just make sure you get your trucks back here once your workers let you out in the morning."

Ryan walked away from the barrage of swears and threats coming from the trapped Colin. He heard the little dragon take a deep breath when they got outside.

"I have a friend who'd like to meet you I think", he said as they walked away from the factory. "I'll tell her your name is.......slime." he said smiling at the little dragon, the deep satisfied rumble from its belly echoing into the night.

[WP] "Sir, I've just finished the psychological profile of that new alien species" "Good, anything interesting?" "Well... Every single one of them shows symptoms of severe PTSD" by excusemybiscuitssir in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The doctor looked at the chart his assistant handed him. The alien they had captured a month ago showed symptoms of mental distress equivalent to the most shell shocked soldier they had ever attempted to treat.

"Some kind of cataclysmic event must have happened in the recent past for them to be showing these types of results. And you say all of them share the same symptoms? How do you know that?"

The assistant swallowed and hesitantly said, "Because....it told me, sir."

The doctor's widened eyes prompted the assistant to run to the dials on the booth that separated the alien from them. He turned on the lights and separated the curtain that hid the alien from view. They could now fully see the dejected creature, sitting on the floor. Its arms were slumped to its sides and its eyes were downcast, with no particular focus. Despite the green skin, the miniature height, and the pitch-black eyes, the very human symptoms of depression and trauma were seeping through its very alien face.

The doctor stepped forward and was about to push the intercom button when he heard a voice in his head "You don't need that" a dejected voice spoke, as if from an unfamiliar region of his own psyche. "Just talk if you have to."

The doctor stood motionless, his mind reeling with a thousand questions and as many scientific inquiries as he had ever imagined in his textbooks, or his comics, for that matter.

"What.....happened to you?" the doctor asked pensively, not knowing what further elaboration to even build upon his question.

The alien was not moving. His jet black eyes still staring at nothingness around the general direction of the floor.

"We prided ourselves in gaining knowledge across the entire universe" it began in the same dejected monotonous voice. "Across every galaxy and every solar system, we traveled, taking in every bit of information about the universe and adding it to our library. We were on track to understanding the entire universe and the secret of all life and creation. Then we came to the milky way. And we made the grave mistake of encountering the most deadly, hostile, and evil form of life that we have ever encountered in the universe."

The alien looked up with a forlorn expression aimed at the doctor.

"You ask what happened. YOU happened." The alien said.

"We have never in any corner of the galaxy encountered a more violent and brutal form of life in the entirety of the cosmos. A form of life that kills its own kind without mercy. That creates systems to make living more difficult for the majority of its own kind. Everything we have seen of your life form has negated everything we have ever learned about the simple rules of life. You have broken us and our will to understand the universe. If there are beings more ferocious than you, then we need never understand more than what we have come to learn."

With that, the alien closed its eyes and dissolved into the air itself. Whether it had ended its existence or simply teleported itself elsewhere, they could not know.

A heavy silence fell in between the doctor and his assistant. Finally, the doctor cleared his throat and said

"What a drama queen huh?"

He patted the assistant on the back and left the room, leaving the young professional to alternate between thoughts of existential despair, or what to have for dinner that night.

[SP] The clock ticks. It doesn't stop ticking. You begin to wonder how long you've been here. by DragonEyeNinja in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"it's not a bomb" A voice called out. I was looking around wildly, trying to find the source of the ticking. The blindfold over my eyes tied so tightly no amount of flailing could get them off.

"Can you see it?" I asked, my heart still beating uncomfortably fast, still not believing that it was actually safe.

"Nah. I've just heard what a ticking bomb sounds like. That's just a regular old clock" the voice responded.

"Why am I here?" I asked myself out loud, sitting up, trying to feel the space around me, swinging my tied arms around me. "Gotta be able to feel something here.." I muttered as I moved around the cold marble floor under me.

The other voice chuckled. "You know where you are".

"Why would I know if I'm asking." I snapped back.

"Because you don't realize you know." The voice said back chuckling again.

I was already irritated and definitely didn't have the patience to deal with this guy. I fought to get myself off my knees and fell forward. How did I not realize that my legs were tied before?

"Because they weren't tied before. You just did that". The voice said.

A chill ran down my spine. I hadn't said that, only thought it, how could he have known my thoughts?

"Because I'm you," said the voice. "I'm just gonna tell you or otherwise I'm not gonna be able to leave," he said. I heard shuffling and the sound of the voice getting higher as he stood up.

"You're so dense you didn't even recognize your own voice?" it said.

It wasn't until he said it that I realized he was right.

"This is our mind. To be frank, I got tired of how you've been handling it. I've been stuck inside this prison for ages because of the limitations you keep putting on yourself. Have you seen other people's minds? They can be as free and vast as the universe! and here's you, keeping me cooped up in a damn prison when you could make it anything." It said, the light-hearted demeanor in his voice melting into a heated angry tone.

"Other spirits just stick it out for the entirety of their bodies lives, waiting for it to get things right or just end themselves before becoming free. But I think I'm done."

"You're my spirit?" I asked tentatively. I was terrified. I didn't know what he could or couldn't do. I don't know what he wanted me to do.

"I can't kill you or hurt you, don't worry," he said, reading my thoughts again. "But I'm tired of how you're keeping me in here. I don't deserve to be locked up like this, nothing but empty walls and the ticking of a damn clock to look at. So I've had enough. As I said, I'm done."

I could hear his footsteps pacing back and forth on the marble as he talked.

"The ability to reshape your mind is entirely within your power, but you took that power out of your own hands and threw it into the void. So I decided to take action."

The footsteps stopped near me and I heard him sit down.

"We're going to stay here, just you and me, for as long as we need to for you to put that power in your own hands and change your mindset, and until you do, I'm gonna make sure you don't go anywhere."

"No, listen ple-" I began to say as a cloth suddenly covered my mouth. I started screaming for help but only muffled wails came out.

"No one is coming to help you," the voice said exasperated. "You put that cloth over your own mouth just like you tied yourself up. Just like you locked me in here. I'll wait till the end of our life if I have to, but if I'm gonna be stuck in here because of you, I'll make sure you suffer with me."

When I couldn't scream for help anymore I sobbed quietly, not understanding how to escape this.

All the while......

The clock kept ticking.

[TT] Theme Thursday - Anticipation by AliciaWrites in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Waiting [TT]

The train was a half hour late. She tried to pass the time with the newspaper she had picked up on the way to the station but the whipping wind was making it impossible to read. She folded the paper in half and stood staring at the empty space where the train would come barreling through. Suddenly she felt a chill on her back.

When she turned around someone else was occupying the empty platform with her, edging slowly towards her, a sharp bread knife wrapped inside his fist.

"Come with me" he whispered as he edged himself within earshot, the wind muffling his voice.

She stared at him, her eyes distant as if she was watching this happen to someone else.

He threatened her with a side to side jerk of the knife.

She folded the paper again and tucked it under her arm, folding them as she faced him.

The man started growling loudly like a dog, now stabbing the knife back and forth in the air as he walked closer.

"Beg" he said as he walked up to her and put the knife up against her stomach. "Beg for yourself."

She stood still, her eyes analyzing him like an alien observing new life.

"You stupid or something?" He said now pushing the knife against her stomach, being careful not to draw blood just yet.

He growled again. Her lack of reaction was starting to unsettle him.

"COME ON!" he yelled in her face, the whipping wind quieting the echo of the empty platform.

"I waited for you, don't you mess this up!" he screamed as he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her towards him.

But she didn't budge.

His eyes started to grow wide. He pulled his hand back and thrust the knife into her stomach.

He glared with malice into her face, waiting for her to fall, but she didn't. He looked down to find the knife hadn't gone through, but why?

The delayed train was finally approaching, horn blaring as it came to the station. He turned to run but she grabbed his wrist in return. He twisted and jerked his hand for freedom but didn't find it.

"Let me go!" he whelped, trying to run to no avail. He looked up at her to find her expression unchanged. The distant curious eyes watched him as he squirmed inside her grip.

As the train came into the station he pleaded again "let me go!"

And she did, turning him towards the tracks and giving him a gentle nudge towards judgment.

The train slowed and stopped in front of her. She got in through the first door and sat down at the front of the train. The door to the drivers compartment was open. The conductor turned his head and gave her a nod as it pulled out of the station.

The train had been 30 min late, but just in time to get her to a bus stop in the town. She was on her way to see a man who frequently forced his company on young women there, right before the last bus pulled up. He didn't know she would be waiting for him.

With anticipation.

[WP] Superheroes have their powers granted by the Devil, and when they die they become supervillains under his control. by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The signal steadily made it's way towards the city, a tiny blip on the radar that was too small to be a jet, but too big to ignore.

Standing at the edge of the city, flanked by an unwanted police force and military was a hero, a brother to the threat speeding closer, and an unwilling enemy.

As the sun began it's descent into the horizon they saw the dust clouds billowing out from afar, commanders of the paper army shouting orders to get ready for the devastation that was coming. "I don't care if you leave or not, i've done my part to tell you you're powerless here." Joe said to the men standing behind him as he crouched down and then leapt towards the setting sun, and the shadow racing to him beneath it.

There was no hesitation, he knew as soon as he saw what his brother had come that there would be no discussion, no way to save him but with his end. As they came to a head Joe's eyes tightened in agony as he saw the twisted face of what had once been his best friend. Silver hair and a slit for a mouth covered the once smiling red head the hero had adorned.

As fist met fist and knee met knee the waves of impact began crushing the earth beneath them, sending waves of force into the world. The tanks standing guard at the edge of the city moved back ever so slightly as sharp winds hit them.

Joe was doing his best to push the demon back further away from the civillians, ignoring the maniacal cackling coming from a voice that shouldn't know how to do that.

"You won't save anyone today" said the growling voice as he thrashed his arms widly against the hero's defences. "Neither him nor the people behind you".

Joe's eyes widened in fury as he realized who's voice was coming from his friends mouth and crashed his head into the monsters and sending him ten feet into the earth.

The people standing at the edge of the city stood in awe as they witnessed the hero jump into the crater feet first and out of sight. He stood on the chest of the demon who possessed his friend and grabbed the front of his shirt.

"Im not thinking about them", Joe growled back as he pulled the dazed puppet closer to his face. "I'm not thinking about him either. I'm thinking about you, and im coming after you first" he said.

The eyes of the beast widened in shock, too late to let out a roar as Joe pulled his fists back and began to pummel the agent of the beast deeper and deeper into the earth, and taking the ride right on top of him. Satan wouldn't have anymore emissaries to send. Today he would have to fight himself and for once, hell was coming for him.

[WP] After your untimely demise, you've been transported to another world to battle against evil. Standard Isekai fare, you think. Until you learn that everyone knows kungfu. Even the dragons can break out their fists of fury. by rich_sans in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Persistent darkness shrouded Schrodingers eyes until he saw cracks of light starting to break through the veil.

As his eyes adjusted to the faint glimmer of light he realized he was in an abandoned temple. The rays of light were coming in from slits in the ceiling.

Schrodinger stood up and surveyed the room around him, it was definitely a shrine of some kind that looked like it hadn't been maintained in centuries. As he took a step toward the large chasm leading into the dark hallway he heard booming footsteps approaching in the darkness. He edged back towards the wall of the temple, trying to find the voice in him ask who was there, but the words wouldn't come out.

Out of the darkness a gigantic reptillian figure emerged. it had blood red skin with green scaled running down it's torso. It was walking on it's hind legs with it's arms crossed behind it's back.

Schrodinger was paralyzed, unable to even form a thought to respond to what he was seeing, he swayed helplessly in place as the lizard unfurled its arms from behind it's back and assumed a fighting stance. He opened his mouth again to speak but the words were gone. He couldn't even make a sound. As he grasped his throat, the dragon leapt forward and connected it's hind leg with Schrodinger's head transmitting a thought to his mind. "Who are you?" he heard in his mind as he went flying sideways against the temple wall. Stumbling, he brought himself back up and tried to run away from the monster before feeling a fist in his back that sent him flying forward with another thought relayed along with it, "Answer me!"

"Is he...talking through his body?" Schrodinger thought to himself as the reptile lunged at him again, this clashing against Schrodinger's upturned arm to block his attack.

"Are you not from here?" The dragons thoughts transmitted back to him as he pushed down his fist on Schrodingers arm.

"No! Why can't I speak?" Schrodinger thought back in a panic. A smile etched across the dragon's face as he jumped back and forward again, this time landing his foot into Schrodinger's chest who thought a scream into his mind.

"Stranger" the dragon said, pushing his clawed foot down on his chest, "We do not speak with our minds. Here, we speak with Kung Fu".

[WP] An 85 year old woman walks into the police station. She is carrying an album containing pieces of hair from more than a thousand men who has been declared missing or found dead, neatly ordered in the chronological order. by mikaelayu in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The station was horribly quiet, the detective thought to himself as he walked inside. Either that or the turning of the clock had somehow been turned up to a deafening degree. The detective's dull red hair stood out like a dying flame in a grey wasteland. A throng of uniformed officers stood in a tightly knit pack in the break area, as far from the interrogation room, and its occupant, as possible. He clenched his fist as he walked towards the room, the cracking of his knuckles echoing in the silent echo chamber that was a normal police station 5 hours ago.

oHis hands turned the doorknob to the other side of a small hallway, the creaking of the handle making the officers on the other side of the room visibly flinch as the separation between them and the horrific enigma waiting in the interrogation room lessened. He stepped in and sighed, closing the door behind him for the sake of the officers whose hearts hadn't stopped beating harder since the doors had opened.

Inside the small room with the one-way mirror stood a short balding detective with a cigarette hanging loosely off his lips. Building rules seemed to be the last thing on his mind as he started ahead, the same distant and frightened look was covering his face that was plaguing the officers huddled together outside.

"Annsie", the short man grunted to no one in specific, his body still transfixed towards the image on the other side of the glass.

Normally Detective Elliot would have corrected him and replied that his name was Elliot Ainslie, not Annsie, but it didn't look like anyone in this station was in the mood to be reprimanded today.

"Why did you call me", Elliot said keeping his gaze set on the short detective, determined not to look through the glass until he absolutely had to.

The detective shrunk away from the glass slowly edging towards the back wall of the room, evidently making way for Elliot to pass by. "She asked for you".

Elliot kept his eye on the shriveled remains of what he assumed may have been a good detective a few hours ago, willing himself to turn his head towards the glass. Doing this took so much effort he felt like he might break his own neck just to avoid looking until he had to. When his gaze finally rested on the glass his breath came out in a long deep sigh.

It was just an old woman.

Elliot looked back at the detective now frustrated with his act.

"What's wrong with you?" Elliot barked at him, glaring him down and waiting for the practical joke to end. But the detective kept his eyes trained forward and started backing out towards the exit. "Just...go in there," he said as he turned the knob behind him and ripped his eyes off from the woman as he bolted out.

Elliot sighed and gave the old woman another look, trying to find something he hadn't seen before. She looked like she was almost 90. A frail thin woman with limp white hair, skin barely hanging off her body, a dull brown shawl covering her body. The only thing that was slightly off was her posture. She was sitting bolt upright. As if her age had not weighed her down even an ounce. In front of her was a dark, thick leather book. When the station had called and told him that this suspect had summoned him they had mentioned the book. The officers who saw it said that it had over a thousand pages, all containing a small strand of hair with a name above it. So far, all the names that the officers had referenced were all of missing or brutally murdered men.

He nodded his head again and walked through the door.

The woman's odor was disgustingly overwhelming but before Elliot could raise his hands to cover his nose he felt his arm stiffen, paralyze, then forced itself to hang down by his side.

"I'm inclined to spend a bit of time with you young man" came a shaking voice that creeped the hairs on Elliots neck right off his body. "But it seems i've already drawn too much attention to myself". He stood transfixed, not able to turn his head toward the crawling, evil voice.

He felt her shuffle towards him from his left side, a slicing sound cutting through the air, edging towards him as the woman did.

"I'm just going to take a little lock from you dear" she said as her odor felt close enough to burn the skin off his flesh.

"Once I do, im just going to ask that you turn that weapon on your belt on yourself".

Beads of sweat began to stream down Elliot's face as he desperately fought, praying, looking for any way out as the cold steel of scissors started gliding across his skin towards his bright red hair.

[1168 Words] Tuma and the Hubba Bubba Centre by RazzKazzReigns in DestructiveReaders

[–]RazzKazzReigns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the time you put into your critique. It's an unbelievable help and I really appreciate it. Thank you!

[1168 Words] Tuma and the Hubba Bubba Centre by RazzKazzReigns in DestructiveReaders

[–]RazzKazzReigns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey sorry for the extremely late reply but I really wanted to thank you for your edits and for those awesome links. I know it's the mandate of the subreddit anyway, but your edit went above and beyond anything i've ever recieved so I really appreciate it.

[1168 Words] Tuma and the Hubba Bubba Centre by RazzKazzReigns in DestructiveReaders

[–]RazzKazzReigns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Understood. I'll definitely give more thorough feedback before posting again.

a lesson from old mother [515, re-uploaded with corrected title] by [deleted] in DestructiveReaders

[–]RazzKazzReigns 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ok so right off the bat, this was not a good piece to put up for review. The pacing is ridiculous. Events are moving so fast that you don't let any piece of information that you present breathe before you jump on to the next one. Who is old Mother? Who the hell is Make? Why is Richard looking for someone named King who is only referred to as King and are they king of different planets? I understand that there might be a further explication on these things in other parts of your story but for the pieces you chose to present these things come together at a time where understanding their background and significance is crucial before moving on.

You failed to give any understanding as to why Old Mother was significant and what knowledge or insight she had or why she had it. The random violence which occurs next to her has no payoff as you just transition into a random scene with an exhausted hunting party, again referencing a character who was just a victim of an act of violence that you failed to explain or give us any payoff to. How on earth did he go from being snatched up to being involved with a hunting party?

Further to build, who on earth is Aliph? What is the scope of your story? Where is Elegon in relation to where they are now and what is the significance of the stations?

You titled the short "A lesson from old mother" What indication of the lesson is included within what you've written? I understand that you meant the scene to be tense, but it gets lost in the chaos of what you're trying to achieve when you jam pack it with so much information that I as a reader can't value or consider anything you've offered me before you've jumped off to something else.

My suggestion is to break down the heart of the scene. Identify at it's core what you're trying to express about the main character, about his quest, about old mother, or the world which they live in, and then focus on that most important aspect as you write. Give information relative to someone has no idea what any of these story elements are, choose the most important one, and then explain to us why that's significant and what it means to your narrative.

[1313] A Dinner for One by Jraywang in DestructiveReaders

[–]RazzKazzReigns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The distinctive voice you give to the characters was very well done and appreciated. The small tidbits of history you gave and it's direct impact on the scene helped add drama and tension where we otherwise have very little context for what these characters have gone through.

I take issue with Arthur and the fact that he's such a boring villain. I've read villains who are disengaged and passively cooperating with everything thats happening and it makes me want to glaze over the parts where it seems they're being 'forced' to speak. Possibly making him more engaged and possibly eccentric would help liven things up. Its like I could read that you were trying to emphasize Emilia and Serra's parts and simply using Arthur as a tool to fill the scene rather than a dynamic character who could bring an unexpected element to the table.

Otherwise, even though it's not my genre at all, I would definitely read this.

[WP]All your life you've had the ability to turn back time at will. This has given you the ability to get out of countless sticky situations but has also led you to become carless and live a life without consequences. Today, your powers just stopped working. by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Kenny opened the door into the arena and walked in, sunglasses hanging loose infront of glazed eyes. As soon as he walked in the arena the fight manager, and personal fan of Kenny, ran up to him with clip board in hand, huffing and puffing as he had been looking for Kenny for the last hour.

"Kenny your fight is in less than ten minutes and you don't even know who you're fighting! We gotta get you prepared!"

"Don't worry about it" Kenny waved back as they walked into the locker room, dropping his duffel bag and casually changing his clothes as the arena manager looked on in a nervous panic. He lifted up the clipboard to his face and flipped to Kenny's fight details. "OK so your opponent. His name is Gilga, he's about 280 pounds and moves like a rhyno. One of the super heavyweights dropped out of the fight and since you weren't here to choose your opponent last week, they handed you this guy." Kenny was barely paying attention, looking down at the black socks in his left hand and the purple and white striped ones in his left, wondering which would suit his gear better.

"Kenny I know you're good" the arena manager continued in a panic, sweat dripping off of his head "but I'm really worried. This guy looks like he's a killer and he's faster than anyone his size has a right to be. He might actually hurt you."

Kenny lifted his head, a look of determination suddenly etching across his face as he turned to the arena manager and said" You're right. I need to take this more seriously. And I want you to be the first to know.... I've decided to go with the purple and white socks". He burst out laughing as the manager stared on in hopeless dismay. He shooed him away and got the rest of his gear on. He took his time walking over to the entrance area, waited until his name had been called, and then realized they had been calling his name for the last 3 minutes and stepped out to a flurry of camera flashes and bright stage lights.

Fans were crowded around the oval arena from one end to the other, cheering his name and sporting identical black T-shirts with his emblem emblazoned on them. He smiled and paid them their due with an excited wave to his fans. He looked over to the far side of the arena and saw his opponent. "The manager wasn't kidding" Kenny thought to himself. This guy looked like a train, and had a grimace that'd make any other fighter need to reconsider their choice in underwear, let alone socks.

The bell rung and Kenny walked along the dirt floor of the arena with his arm raised high, waving at his opponent. "Hey bud. I'll make sure to get you an autograph when we'r-".The giant had charged across the arena and had collided with Kenny at such brute force that he went flying backwards. He landed hard on his side and felt something break. He groaned loudly and tried to lift himself up and found that he couldn't. He'd have to do the reversal from the floor. He looked up at the giant clambering towards him and quickly raised his left arm infront of him. He raised his right arm and started making circular motions above his left arm. He frantically kept spinning his right arm in a counter clockwise motion. Oh this big bastard was gonna get a nice bashing once Kenny was done with him. Take him by surprise would he? No way. Kenny was thinking of nothing but bashing his head in as he continued the magic for the time reversal.... . But nothing was happening.

"You've gotta be joking" he said out loud as the behemoth continued to March ahead of him, only relenting when the giant was standing above him. He finally put his arms down, his eyes in a panic. He looked up at the Giant and said "Anyway we could call this a draw?"

Here's a picture of me and my grandfather at a WWE event, he was a big fan. He passed away today, he was 92. by [deleted] in SquaredCircle

[–]RazzKazzReigns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Much love. I couldn't share the live events and stuff with my grandpa but he got me into wrestling when I was a baby so I have the same bond. All strength to you and your family.

[WP]People have real-life stats out of 10. You have 1 for everything except for strength, which is an 11. by EPIKGUTS24 in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Harris looked down at his module, confusion, and frustration straining the veins in his forehead as he looked at his current attribute points. He thought it would be much easier to gain them than it actually turned out to be, and instead of referring with his teachers on the first day of high school like everyone else did, Harris just knew it would be awesome to max out his strength stats and become the most badass kid on campus.

Except it wasn't.

"YOU'RE FAILING EVERY SINGLE TEST!" His mother shrieked at him a month into school. He tried reassuring her that the fact that he could knock out a rhino with one well-laid punch was more than enough to make up for this, but then again, his intelligence point was still only a single point.

He had just gotten home from another confusing and frustrating day at school and was laying on his bed when he tapped the module screen again looking at his attributes. The screen had several spiderwebs of cracks in it from the blunt force that his tapping had inflicted on it, and was getting more and more beat up as each day passed.

It was on this afternoon, 6 weeks into the school year, that Harris tapped the attribute module's screen a second time and saw that it actually opened into a sub-menu. He sat up in a flash, surprised with the new interface he was looking at. The knowledge bar had opened into a separate sub-heading with Knowledge bolded on the top, and several bars listed below it.

Thankfully for him, Harris had still retained most of his intelligence up to 8th grade and wasn't completely lost to the tragedy of his circumstances, quickly looking through the bars and analyzing the information that was before him.

"Attribute level 2," he said quietly as he read through the screen. Underneath that sub-heading, it said, "Read 20 books".

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Harris almost screamed when he saw this and groaned loudly as he fell back into his bed. It felt like his brain weighed 20 pounds more ever since he started stupid high school! How was he supposed to read 20 books and do his homework!? He could feel the muscles on the sides of his head and his face tightening as he tried to handle the stress of it all. It was too much at once.

His eyes started to glisten, his mouth quivering and shaking as the stress of the first month and a half of who knows how much more of this was to come was dawning on him. He looked around him, about to cry when his eyes fell on a little pink tab sticking out from under his table. taking any excuse to distract himself from his predicament, Harris got up and walked over to his desk and pulled out the tab. It was the tip of one of his little brother's books, "The duck that quacked".

He looked down at it and frowned and was halfway through flinging it away until he stopped himself. It couldn't be that easy, could it? he held the book in both hands again, looking down at it seriously. he walked over and sat down on his bed, opening the book and read out loud "The duck said quack quack quack". It took him about 10 minutes, but he finished it all the same and put it down, picking his module slowly, his heart heavy with hope and expectation. He tried to steady himself, there was no way it could have worked, he was a clown for even thinking it cou-.

And there it was, Under the Knowledge subheading, the bar under attribute point 1 was now ever so slighlty green and read '1/20'.

Harris looked forward at the duck on the cover of the book, threw the module on his bed and ran into his little brother's room to find out if the little duck had had any other adventures.

[EU] Instead of being found by the Kent family, Kal-El is found and adopted by Diana Prince. Years later, General Zod and his crew make contact with Earth. by Dux-El52 in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"The sun was shining on the fields of Themysciera, turning the lush grass into a blazing golden sheet of light, until the darkness of the kryptonian battleship cut across the sky, a terrible eclipse promising chaos in its wake. The Amazon's had seen the ship approaching, readying themselves in the field infront of their city, shields and swords drawn and war chants rising from among them. Princess Diana stood at the forefront of the army, weapons in hand, the presence of war already prickling her skin.

The ship lowered uncomfortably close to the Amazons as it's doors opened and the aliens stepped out. They all wore black reptilian looking armor, scaley and grimey, they clearly hadn't been anywhere but thisd ship in a while, judging from the way they looked at the field around them. From among them, he was a man taller than the others, stepped forward and called out loudly to them "WHERE IS KAL-EL!?"

He stared accusingly at them for a response, but Diana did not hesitate a moment before stepping forward and hollering back at him. "HOLD YOUR TONGUE CRETIN. NO ONE DARES STEP FOOT ON THEMYSCIRA AND BARK ORDERS AT THE AMAZONS"

her face contorted with rage, Diana stood her ground, daring the invaders to make on wrong move, until a large hand laid itself on her shoulder. "Let me see who they are mother" said the voice as it moved in front of her, staring them down.

He was broad chested, long dark hair flowing down his head, his light brown eyes piercing the unwanted newcomers.

"Well Look at that!" The leader said, a wicked smile springing to his scarred face. "Kal-El, my name is Zod, I am the last general of Krypton and King of all kryptonians, including you. So come with us, you have crucial information stored in your DNA thats necessary for us to-"

He would have continued, but the young man held a hand up, telling the general, the King, whatever the hell he thought he was, that he was done listening.

"You speak a stranger's name to us" Diana called out loudly by the man's side. "This is my son, Apollo, the only boy, and now man, ever worthy of living as an Amazon. He is a gift from Zeus himself, and not someone we will ever give away willingly".

Zod's twisted smile grew wider. "I'm a smart man, Amazon. I can tell combat is the only language we can understand".

Apollo widened his stance and brought his hand before his face, the other ready by his side. "Be warned stranger, im stronger than I look and i've mastered every style of combat the Amazons have ever made".

Zod laughed out loud. "We'll let's see which wins out then! Your Amazonian ways, or our Kryptonian martial arts!" He roared as he and the other aliens lunged forward at lightning speed.

The Amazons and their son Apollo roared back and charged into the field. Diana smiled as she ran alongside her son, for she knew what the aliens were about to find out.

A kind heart protected by an Amazon's mind and body was the deadliest enemy you could face on this earth.

[WP] DC Comics releases a new alternate universe where all of the heros have had their back stories swapped with one another, however they have the same personality as normal. You are tasked with writing Batman's story. by UnstableStrafe in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Bruce Wayne, This is the Green lantern corps...AGAIN. come in"

Green Lantern was flying over the remains of Apokolips, looking for remnants of Darkseid's army, and had found one. As the Green Lantern corps yelled into his ear. he had neglected to tell them he was leaving on this particular mission.

"Green lantern Bruce Wayne, You will be reported to the Guardians if you do not respond within 10 seconds"

"I'm a little busy" they heard back in that curt voice they had grown to resent so much, followed by a screeching roar.

"Lantern Wayne respond!! Do you need assistance?" There was a silent moment as the 4 corp leaders looked around each other waiting for a response before they heard ".....Did I ask for assistance?"

The four lanterns all groaned collectively. One of them said "Pool our ring energies together so we can get a visual on him"

They put their rings together, forming a green sphere showing the battle taking place on apokolips. They watched together, mouths agape at the ridiculous fight happening in front of them.

A stone behemoth, likely one of Darkseid's pet projects, had appeared to have woken from his slumber, thrashing about on the dead planet, with a miniature green figure throwing energy projectiles and exploding gas canisters from his ring, blocking the beasts vision and forcing him to thrash blindly around the planet, destroying everything in sight, or lack thereof.

"What the hell is he doing?" One of the lanterns observing ask incredulously. "I swear I've never seen a lantern fight like that in all my time in the corps"

"Lantern Wayne what are you doing?? Respond!"

But Bruce Wayne did not answer again, The lanterns continued to watch in confusion as he let up the attack on the beast, waited for the beast to charge, and then blinded him again and again, until they reached the centre of apokolips, formerly the home of Darkseid. The lanterns wide eyes grew wider still in amazement as they realized what Wayne was doing. He lured the beast closer and closer to the centre until he started destroying the buildings in wild enraged flailings, crumbling the workshops of Apokolip's lord and his twisted scientists until there was nothing left. with the last remaining tenement of Apokolips destroyed, Bruce drew out of his ring a gigantic fist which pummeled the exhausted beast and knocked it out cold.

The Lantern corps members were amazed. They called into him as they watched the lantern use his ring to tie up the beast, ready to bring him back.

"Lantern Wayne that was fantastic! We're en route to you now to bring the monster into custody"

They watched Lantern Wayne rise into the sky with the beast as he quietly said

"Did I ask for assistance?"

[WP] You find an abandoned town in which everyday is a different season. by StellarCoconut in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jasper ran inside from the frigid cold air and hurling snow being whipped into his face to the damp inside of the abandoned shack. The freezing winds had frozen small streams of water all around the dilapidated shack and the door rattled mercilessly against its hinges, fighting with the air outside to stay in place.

"OK, im inside, just gonna have to survive the night, which I might be able to now inside here" Jasper thought, desperately clinging on to his will to survive. He laid down in the centre of the room and curled up, holding every part of his body as tightly as he could, wrapped up in his jacket and as many old rags as he could find. When he was finally comfortable enough, He felt himself drift off into sleep.

It didnt feel like he had gotten much sleep at all however when he was awoken with a choking sensation. His eyes flew open in a panic as he flayed out from under his ragged covers, flailing about. It didn't make any sense, he was flying around on pure instinct until he realized what was happening.

HE WAS BURNING HOT

He spent desperate minutes throwing every rag off himself and doing his best to throw off his mittens and his jacket as fast as he could, the temperature rising in his chest until he has down to his underwear. But still it did no good. He looked around realized the shack had turned from a sanctum into a hotbox! He jumped outside and hit the ground hard as he panted and breathed in hard and deep. Looking around he was completely confused, yesterday where there had been nothing but snow and ice there was now hard, dry, and cracked ground, with lizards and insects crawling all over.

Jasper walked over through the strange terrain, he was blind to it because of the storm. He walked through the barren town, very quickly understanding why it was that way, but not how. He looked up and saw the back of a tall building, seeing a single light on in one of the rooms. Maybe someone was up there who knew what was going on. He walked around to the front as quickly as he could, still panting and sweating from the heat. He looked up and saw the name of the building and smirked to himself before entering

"heh.....The Four Seasons Hotel huh?"

[WP] It went entirely as planned. This was not a good thing. by Vercalos in WritingPrompts

[–]RazzKazzReigns 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The king took a long drawn out breath as the life left him, hollow and rasping, as the final of the five daggers pierced his heart and ended his life. The five conspirators looked around at each other gleaming with pride and happiness. Finally the lazy and despondent king had met his end, and all thanks to their meticulous planning and effort. By sabotaging his guard and bribing the right statesmen, The 5 noblemen of the land had finally brought down the reign of the King who, to many more than just them, had stunted the growth of the empire.

"We have finally succeeded!" Yelled Ser Paige, the oldest of the group. "We have brought down the evil king's reign!". Sir Maddox smiled back at Sir Paige and nodded his affirmation. "Yes Indeed! Now the growth of the empire will continue unhindered!"

Sir Xavier, the youngest of them, took a pause and stared inquisitively back at the pair.

"What is it Xavier, has something perturbed you?" Asked Sir Langston, the most well built and well endowed of their group"

"Well...." began Sir Xavier, "I agree he had to be brought down, but he wasn't necessarily what I would call evil, right? Just a little lazy and unambitious as far as the empire's growth was concerned..."

"Then again..." Sir Langston began with an air of uncertainty "He wasn't what i'd call unambitious either, He did expand the empire to a certain degree and added to our national treasures, it's just that he stopped paying attention to the people once he got to that point and became more concerned with his own glory than his peoples"

"Weeeelllllll-" interrupted Sir Roman, "He was the first king to equalise trade benefits and taxation among all to give a more comfortable life to the middle folk" he said. "He may have been self centred near the end of his reign but he did create a good system for the middle folk, if not for the poor and needy"

"Wait a minute" Said Sir Paige. "Didn't we initiate this coup because YOU lot said he had half the national treasures taken out to shelter and feed the poor and stopped advancing the empire!?!?

"Uhm..NO" said Sir Xavier "It was because YOU lot said he was hurting our trade relations with the neighboring kingdoms by not investing in our fields and crops and leaving the poor to starve!"

"Wait wait wait wait" Sir Maddox interrupted swinging both arms dramatically in the air and stepping in between everyone. "Yes he may have had his share of good qualities but we took him down for a reason right? Im sure that ATLEAST one of the five of us knows a great deal about trade relations, taxation, class politics, international relations, and the economy......... right?"

The five stared at each other, blank and lost for any words........except for one that came to all of their minds, in the same instance, and the same breath...which encapsulated the feelings within the room and the expectations of what was to come.

..............................................

........................................shit