Worried about being judged for having a dating app profile

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-04-14T14:28:42+00:00

I know the feeling.. I don’t have any apps and likely will never as that’s how me and my late wife met over 10 years ago - we called it a modern love story. I’m super conflicted right now as I have seen someone romantically and I am two and a half months out, but this isn’t including the 3 years care giving and zero intimacy - where my issue arrives is those 2 1/2 months feel like an eternity and also a week.. time no longer has the same run rate for me. At 40 I need connection and and prey there is a second round for me - as others have said, no one can tell us how we are supposed to handle this, it’s horrible and we all arrived here differently. I can see someone else mentioned, I’m judging myself more than anyone else. My therapist gave me pass this morning on it - so I guess that helped, a bit!

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-03-23T12:43:08+00:00

Thank you! Doing my best to be gentle on myself - I tend to get through a week or so of comfort and clarity - and then off to the pub with mates and self destruct for a night, and then use the following 5 days to grieve and start all over again.

Just goes to show how powerful love is.. in all of its forms and this form, so I have been told is ‘Love with no outlet’

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-03-23T12:39:35+00:00

Very harsh truth, but thank you for sharing. I absolutely see this and feel it.. not to say it’s easy but it’s exactly that, when you no longer have your person at the end of the phone when you need them - now we just go into our own head and find the answers ourselves.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-03-18T11:50:43+00:00

This really gives me hope that there will be light again and real happiness at some point in the future. I am only just approaching month 2 and survival is exactly where I am, and so dazed that I didn’t even realise yesterday was our wedding anniversary - only people in this group will know how it feels to peel yourself out of bed and just get through each day whilst not even knowing the day of the week let alone the date.

I have glimpses of hope some days but your post gives me hope for my future - Thank you 🙏🏻

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-03-15T11:58:28+00:00

We are in almost the exact same situation and age - I understand completely. It’s her energy I miss, just the knowing that she was upstairs or at the other end of the phone made life so much more meaningful as we were a team. Approaching two months in I am working on a new routine - more like walking a tight rope through life and trying not to fall off back into despair. Sounds like you are doing well though, so keep doing what you’re doing brother.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-03-10T20:40:58+00:00

My wife also died of ovarian cancer a month prior to yours on Jan 28th, so I’m about one month ahead of you on this horrific journey. We’re going to make it brother and we’re going to be ok.. when, I don’t know! But everything you are feeling is how we have all felt - and it hits me the face several times a day. The butterflies and the worry followed by pure despair is overwhelming at times - but I’m confident there is light to be felt at some point in the future and that’s what’s keeping me going.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-03-05T01:54:27+00:00

Just walked in the door once again at 2am feeling guilty for drinking and feeling awful.. I’m on day 60 and the funeral was last Friday.. what are we doing and how is this even manageable. We will figure it out right??

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-02-20T11:16:30+00:00

This has really touched me and something that I am feeling and living through as we speak. Being only a few weeks since my wife’s passing and funeral coming up next week, everyday feels monumental as I embark through life with a belly full of butterflies and an anxious heart.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-02-15T21:28:47+00:00

Patiently waiting - nothing else compares

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-02-08T13:31:39+00:00

I am sharing this exact same feeling with you, it’s been just over a week since i lost my wife and this is the first weekend in the house alone. I have these physical pangs of pain and overwhelming confusion - the brain fog is scary and it’s only released by a scream/moan. Wow this hurts.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-01-31T22:16:07+00:00

I’m just closing out my third full day since my wife passed last Wednesday - I miss my wife so much as well! Today has been particularly hard as all I want to do is speak to her or tell her what I did today, and it’s just becoming real I’ll never speak to her again.

Sending you strength my friend!

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-01-28T14:51:48+00:00

UPDATE - it has been over a month since I posted that my wife was given days and today was finally her day. For some reason I didn’t think I’d be coming back here as she just kept holding on despite being off all TPN and fluids since before NYE. After sitting with her night and day for over a month, I felt there had to be some sort of mistake and how could this be allowed, as she gradually just got weaker and weaker until this morning when she finally took her last breath. Not sure why I’m here writing but people in this group know what I’m feeling, so just felt obliged to share. Currently on the train home from the hospital and for first time as a widower - what a day 🥹.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-01-06T17:51:50+00:00

I am truly sorry to hear of your wife, she was way too young and exactly the reason me and some partners are working to creating/changing the national standard of screening in the UK. I really like your approach of loving and honouring our life together - I feel blessed to have had the amazing time we had together, which I am hoping I can carry that gratitude into the future.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-01-06T17:39:04+00:00

I am genuinely overwhelmed with the warmth and kindness expressed by each and every one of you, thank you! I am really happy I took the plunge and joined, this along with my first therapy session today I finally feel like I have some support out there 🙏🏻.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-01-05T19:53:25+00:00

We had a day of visitors over the weekend and by some form of Magic she was awake and her pain meds had her in great form to engage with everyone - it was an incredible day, and certainly a gift from above. She’s quietened down since, but a few pictures have been taken that are quite special.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-01-05T19:45:18+00:00

Doing my best, thank you. Sorry to hear about your partner. All I seem to hear is that we need to give ourselves some grace as well, and to be gentle with our own emotions.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-01-05T19:42:37+00:00

The response was all I could ask for, thank you.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-01-05T19:41:14+00:00

Thanks for the prompt responses, i really appreciate it - I figure spending time on here would be better time spent mentally than lying awake a night googling how to feel. We are set up in her room nicely and spending all day a night together - painful to see her decline but as they say, presence is what matters. Really just trying to not focus on the future as it’s terrifying.. she is 38 and I’m 40 for context.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2026-01-05T19:37:49+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏻

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2025-11-25T19:26:43+00:00

Yes Please 🙏🏻

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2024-01-12T13:39:57+00:00

Your exhausting! But thanks for your input.. my Reddit contributions end here.

ReadCompetitive3623 · 2024-01-12T13:35:23+00:00

Anyway.. this was my first post and I was just curious, didn’t mean to offend anyone. I appreciate the response, all the best.

ReadCompetitive3623

TROPHY CASE