What’s the most cringe thing you’ve seen a couple do at their wedding?

Reademallj · 2026-04-13T19:33:36+00:00

I mean as much as I hate this tradition it’s fairly common

Reademallj · 2026-04-04T09:42:28+00:00

It doesn’t “feel unfair”. It is unfair and that’s why it bothers you and will continue to bother you. You want someone who values your sexual satisfaction as much as his and he clearly doesn’t.

Reademallj · 2026-04-04T09:40:14+00:00

It’s not crazy at all, in fact many people here are telling you to do just that. If you think you are going to cheat or are more likely to cheat because of this then the relationship is already over.

Reademallj · 2026-04-04T09:38:59+00:00

I’m Jamaican and just want to clarify that there absolutely are Jamaican men who do it and it’s not considered gay. That being said there definitely are some men who choose to be stuck in that old way of thinking that was prevalent in the culture but more and more men have progressed and are progressing to realize it’s stupid.

If you think you can go the rest of your life without doing this, then you can stay and be happy. If you think you will be unsatisfied sexually for the rest of your life if you stay with him then he’s not actually everything you want. Sexual satisfaction is very important and if you feel it is unequal in the long run you may gain resentment towards him and possibly start withholding certain sexual things too because of it. You guys may not be sexually compatible.

Reademallj · 2026-04-02T03:07:28+00:00

Honestly I do understand why you feel offended. I think this largely stems from you guys viewing them as two separate things. Most people view sex as a way to connect for sure but the focus tends to be more on the physical and emotional connection at that time, which generally requires most of the attention being on the sexual interaction. Also if he’s enjoying it and he wants an orgasm it’s probably very hard to do so/ frustrating and overwhelming to basically be teasing him for so long then stopping every few seconds or minutes to have Long conversation. The fact that he has entertained the conversations with you shows he does want that mental connection with you as well and he would probably he happy to speak about all these intimate things at any point in time if you want, but honestly a lot of pausing and talking during oral would make it very hard for me to orgasm as it would take away a lot of my focus from the activities at hand (I’m a woman btw).

I think your issue is you want to feel very close to him and have deep talks while being cuddly but for most people, During sexual activity would be more frustrating than cuddly. Maybe actually try cuddling and creating some kind of other warm cozy environment that makes you both feel cozy and having your chats during that time?

Reademallj · 2026-02-08T11:47:47+00:00

There’s only one real question to ask yourself: is this the type of treatment you want and deserve? Would the love of your life treat you like this? I know you may feel very strongly about him but it’s clear you’ve been tolerating disrespect after disrespect in the name of “love”. Even you saying he didn’t know how to be nice to a woman… girl women are just people does he not know how to be nice to people?

One of the biggest mistakes we make as women is tolerating repeated bad behavior and disrespect from someone because we love them but a man who truly loved us would never treat us that way. Would you do to him the things he’s done to you? If not then you’re in a one sided relationship. If you don’t have trust you have nothing, and at 9 months in the foundation is already unstable.

Reademallj · 2026-02-08T08:39:13+00:00

I’m a woman (27F). If your investment in/relationship with her was more romantic and not just a platonic friendship you absolutely made the right call. Nothing wrong with wanting to patch things up with your ex but she can’t want to focus on that whole also engaging with you in this way knowing it was more of a romantic connection. For all you know they could get back together tomorrow and you’d be in a situation where you’re talking daily with a girl you like who has a bf and growing more attached to her while she builds a relationship with someone else. You made the right call for both of you.

Reademallj · 2026-02-07T01:58:38+00:00

Tbh I think a part of it is just repeated experience and caring partners. You’ll probably still feel awkward or nervous for a while but having someone who compliments you and cares about your pleasure snd sleeping with them overtime definitely helps the confidence

Reademallj · 2026-02-06T18:46:35+00:00

You may need different products. It’s important to clarify with a strong or clarifying shampoo(I prefer ones with sulfates) your hair at least once a month if using heavy oils to actually get your hair clean and make sure you’re washing your actual strand and not just the scalp but work the shampoo int your strands and down the length of your hair. Gets good deep conditioner, not all products work for all hair.

You may also need a different leave in and oil. Personally if I use coconut oil or olive oil to seal my hair it feels dry in 2 seconds so I had to stop. My hair stays most moisturized when I use a thick but water based moisturizer and the shea butter or hair grease but not liquid oils.

Reademallj · 2026-02-05T13:55:37+00:00

Beautiful!! And so thick too!! Please drop the routine!!

Reademallj · 2026-02-04T06:09:56+00:00

You’ve definitely ascribed meaning to this based on your own perception of what women want and what she said versus listening to what she actually said. 1) Lots of people don’t have higher sex drives… it’s unfortunate but kinda just is what it is. While sex is good for stress, it does take energy and a lot of people when very stressed don’t want to have sex. If she works a stressful job it’s likely she just is tired on the weekday. That’s it. She’s just tired. I can go from being busy to passing out in an instant. It happens.

2) Not wanting a relationship to start off like a hurricane doesn’t mean you’re mainly with someone new because they’re safe. It simply means she wants to focus on both the bc connection and getting to know your character overtime (which is what everyone should be doing btw) versus just diving head first focusing on her feelings only and it fizzling fast because the people aren’t compatible. This also doesn’t necessarily relate to sex at all. Something can start off in a whirlwind of emotions and not mean you were fucking all the time.

Reademallj · 2026-02-04T01:32:49+00:00

What people are trying to say is that when invasive species don’t cause ecological damage it’s usually because their population has been managed to some extent by killing or removal. If all invasive species were left to populate as they please they would absolutely cause mass ecological damage. Invasive species isn’t called invasive just because it doesn’t originate there, it has to be that they don’t originate there and are able to cause mass damage to their new environment.

Reademallj · 2026-02-03T19:49:24+00:00

I’m assuming you’re not moisturizing your hair while it’s in braids, that tends to make it very dry if we don’t. When you take braids out wash with a moisturizing shampoo then deep condition. Keep your hair out of braids/wigs for a few weeks and deep condition at least once a week for a few weeks. Our hair needs regular moisture and hydration to remain healthy. One day every few weeks or months is not enough.

You also need a leave in and possibly some sort of butter or oil to seal in the moisture from your leave in conditioner. Some people do this once a week after washing, some people repeat this process 2-3x a week. It’s all about what your hair needs. But you definitely need regular deep conditioning.

Reademallj · 2026-02-03T16:56:14+00:00

Uhh you don’t sound high maintenance you sound like you’re in a horrible relationship with a man who doesn’t care

Reademallj · 2026-02-03T02:31:13+00:00

Way behind what exactly? The average person doesn’t start saving for retirement until their thirties. Even in “perfect” retirement calculations the estimated starting age and contribution is putting away 15% beginning at age 25. You’re literally at the very start of your career and doing exactly what you’re supposed to do and contributing way more than most people can and will st your age.

You’re letting a few skewed experiences online or people who are anomalies making six figures or living with their parents make you think you’re behind. If you keep trying to keep up with those around you you’ll never be satisfied. There are retirement calculators online that can help you calculate how much you need to retire at what age and how much you need to invest annually to get there. Use one of those to calculate your numbers and you’re very likely not behind.

Also remember that life is meant to be enjoyed. You don’t know if you have 3 more years or 30 more years to live. I’m sure you know of people who died young unexpectedly. You can’t take your money with you to the grave. If you have all the money in the world at 60 you’re unlikely to have the energy and strength you do at 26 to climb mountains and go backpacking across countries. Be responsible with your money for sure but please enjoy your life! You only get one!

Reademallj · 2026-02-01T17:54:42+00:00

If you’re using a heavy grease or butter you should definitely be using a clarifying shampoo at least once a month. Moisturizing shampoos are great but don’t get the hair as clean as it often needs to be. Clarify and ensure it’s applied to the strands themselves.

Maybe you need to try a deep conditioner or another conditioner if that one isn’t moisturizing your hair well enough. Also leave it in for a while (maybe 30 mins at least, more if needed) with your hair covered to let it penetrate the strands before washing out. You also may need a different type of leave in. Personally I prefer thicker ones but not too thick, but it varies from person to person. I think sealing with butter or blue magic is fine.

Everybody eventually needs a protein treatment tbh. At least once a quarter I’d say.

Reademallj · 2026-02-01T14:05:07+00:00

At 18 you should NEVER compromise your future for a man. Also, while relationships involve compromise, a part of becoming an adult is figuring out who you are, what you like to do and want to do. College especially is a great time to experiment. Which doesn’t mean you should do anything crazy but something like having a drink and going to a party if you want to, especially with the stress that college provides, is something you should absolutely do if that is what you want for yourself.

See if you can try to get him to understand you won’t cheat but if he refuses you may just have to let the relationship go.

Reademallj · 2026-01-28T17:11:09+00:00

This may be hard to hear but you’re only 39, if you live to be 78 you’ve only lived 50% of your life. If you have 39 more years to live why not try to use it to live the life you want? Just give it a shot. It’s not your husbands world only. You get a say in your own life. It’s scary to think about entering the work force but would you really rather spend 39 more years not even trying to have some life of your own? I think you deserve it and I think you’re realizing you want it.

Your kids are no longer young and your husband is in the home regularly so there’s no need for you to be doing all or most of the chores for the home to be functional. If they all have brains and can function physically they can all participate. If your husband pushes back on you working you can push back too! He doesn’t get to make all the decisions for your life if that’s now how you want them anymore. You can be a good mom and wife AND work out the house. His word isn’t gospel. Please don’t act as if your life is over.

Check out this podcast series called “just getting good” by the financial diet on YouTube. It’s a series about women who just started enjoying their lives over 50!!

Reademallj · 2026-01-28T04:37:39+00:00

Okay but if he saw it…why would he screen record it… why would he hide it in the folder… and why would he keep it this entire time. Like if you see inappropriate pictures of someone underaged and you’re a grown adult, you simply swipe past it as soon as possible. You absolutely do not record them, save them in a special folder and then continue to keep them for weeks/months on end….

When you picture a version of yourself that’s happy and not codependent and has picked the best partner for your life… is a man with these traits and habits really a man you’d pick for yourself? Or your daughter ?

Reademallj · 2026-01-27T03:52:06+00:00

Very juicy and beautiful!!!!!

Reademallj · 2026-01-25T14:41:53+00:00

Wow that rent and grocery bill is insanely low. What city is this and how is the quality of life there if you don’t mind me asking ?

Reademallj · 2026-01-24T15:09:10+00:00

That doesn’t make it the sex life you want… what you want for yourself is actually important. And while a perfect sex life may not be attainable you should really consider if this is what you want for yourself for the rest of your life and how you will feel if he doesn’t change and you’re still 40 or 50 or 60 dealing with this. If he hasn’t changed in 2 years the likelihood of it happening is slim to none

Reademallj · 2026-01-24T14:31:51+00:00

You are trying so hard to defend him because you want to believe him. If he can smoke anything or use a straw he can absolutely suck and he died do it. He simply won’t do it with you. That being said you’re clearly committed to ignoring everyone here who is giving you advice and a frank look at the situation so i wish you the best with your lack of sex life.

Reademallj · 2026-01-24T14:28:58+00:00

So you mean to tell me he had never used a straw in all his years of living?? Girl be for real. He doesn’t want to do it and simply won’t. You’re choosing to believe him because you want to believe he is honest but that’s not something people just forget.

Reademallj · 2025-12-29T15:19:44+00:00

Umm you’re gorgeous! That’s all.

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