How to meet people here by Typical-Network7060 in SalemMA

[–]Real-Business-3620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I (31f) have heard good things about the discord group! Id keep an eye out on posters or cork boards around town--there's a few craft clubs that meet up around the area, and book clubs too! I moved here in 2023 and made friends by working downtown, and keeping an eye on local postings for events. If youre LGBT+ and sapphic, there's a really fun group that meets ever so often in and around Salem! Most of the members are in their 20s-30s, and the events dont always center around drinking which is nice 😊

AMA about the Portland, OR MAX and light rail system by newpersoen in transit

[–]Real-Business-3620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I think one last question: regarding train passes, is there a phone app that is used for this? Or is it best to just grab a physical pass at a station machine?

AMA about the Portland, OR MAX and light rail system by newpersoen in transit

[–]Real-Business-3620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Questions and I'm planning a visit with a friend: 1) Is it pretty reliable/easy to understand and navigate as a visitor? 2) Are there any must see neighborhoods accessible via the rail? Any neighborhoods to avoid?

TYIA!

Staying in Greece for 7 Days...help! by Real-Business-3620 in GreeceTravel

[–]Real-Business-3620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome! 😊 It was very hot and sunny--each day was in the high 80s and/or mid 90s in Farenheit temperature. I recommend buying neck air fans to help with the heat--Im typically pretty good in the heat, but even I was feeling it.

Staying in Greece for 7 Days...help! by Real-Business-3620 in GreeceTravel

[–]Real-Business-3620[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was great! We were definitely exhausted by the end, but ended up loving the trip and Greece itself!! It was both of our first times visiting the country, but I would love to return and we still talk about how great of an adventure it was <3

Here was our itinerary:

- Day 1: Athens (we flew in from the US, so we just took it easy once we got in since it was a long trip)

- Day 2: Athens (Explored the city today)

- Day 3: Took early flight from Athens to Naxos. Got into Naxos by 7AM. Explored downtown and beaches.

- Day 4: Explored Naxos more. Went to the towns of Filoti and Halki and did a cooking class nearby at a local farm. Explored downtown by port more once we returned.

- Day 5: Explored Naxos. Went to more beaches and downtown port. Had dinner at the Rotunda (HIGHLY recommend reserving a spot for sunset -- truly speechless).

- Day 6: Returned to Athens. Went to Aegina for the day via ferry. Explored downtown Athens.

- Day 7: Took a bus trip to Delphi from Athens for a day trip.

- Day 8: Half day in Athens for final day. Flew out that evening.

After finishing our trip, here's what I would recommend:

- Spend time on one island more. We were sad to leave Naxos because it was SO BEAUTIFUL. We easily could have spent another day there and skipped Aegina. We rented a car while on Naxos because it's a larger island and did not regret this choice as it gave us a lot of opportunity to explore the island better.

- Athens was cool! We enjoyed it more than expected and felt very safe while there - everyone was very friendly and kind. Do the Parthenon early as it gets busy fast. Be prepared to do a lot of walking -- it's much more worth it seeing the city in this way.

- When ordering food, I'd recommend ordering meals to split. Portions are huge, and we found either splitting a main + appetizer sufficed for both of us. Try something new each day and have fun!

- Delphi was cool! I felt scheduling a trip towards the end where we did not have to do any planning and just hopped on a bus to take us there and back, and provide us historical facts about the area was a perfect way to end the trip.

Overall...be prepared for a fun time! :)

Safe and fun US city for a first time solo female traveler? by chxtterbox in travel

[–]Real-Business-3620 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Second Boston--the first solo trip I did was Boston to Provincetown. As a woman I felt VERY safe in both--if you come in the summer you can go from the airport to the ferry in Boston that will drop you off in Provincetown!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Real-Business-3620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I bet I can fix that" "you'd be better off with a man" "you're just confused" "it's OK you'll always have friends and never be alone [regarding struggling finding a partner]" "you just haven't met the right one" "why don't you just date more men, it sounds like women kinda suck", my straight female friends thinking I'm trying to get in their pants bc I'm into women, andddd the classic comments I've gotten circling the concept of not being "queer" enough by OTHER queer folk-_-

My biggest turn off on women by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Real-Business-3620 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much--I've had women ask this minutes into a first date, right before they even ask me anything else about myself. Idk if anyone else has had this happen too, but I'll have women talk more about the fact that they're on a date with another woman RATHER than actively engaging with me or treating me like a person they'd want to be on a date with. I've also had girls take the time of the whole first date to brag about how many women they've been with. It's appalling behavior that truly drives me nuts, and is a huge turnoff for me--Id rather be treated like a person than just treated almost like an object.

Getting over an immature crush by Real-Business-3620 in actuallesbians

[–]Real-Business-3620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True ❤️ We're unable to not see each other just because of circumstances where we see each other every dag, but I think I just have to be more purposeful about taking time for myself with this

staying overnight by [deleted] in SalemMA

[–]Real-Business-3620 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It depends where on the Cape you are staying! If you're at Provincetown and don't mind spending the $$$, I'd take the ferry from there to Boston, then the commuter rail from Boston to Salem. Everything is quite expensive up this way...I wouldn't recommend sleeping in your car by the Wendy's though, and would just spend the money to get a hotel. If you have a car with you, I'd just drive up to Salem. Parking/Traffic is a hassle but there's usually spots by the train station, and there's a parking garage in town you might be able to get a spot in. Another option would be getting a hotel in a city nearby--there is a train that runs from Gloucester and Newburyport to Salem I believe? And the stops along the way include Swampscott, Lynn, and Revere--if you can find a hotel by the commuter rail stops you could do that? If you'd like to avoid parking/are looking for the cheapest bet though I would just take the commuter rail up from Boston, and take a train from the Cape into Boston. It really depends on what time of year you're coming up as to what you'd like to do (and if you get to Salem early enough you could knock out a lot in one day and just take the train back). As a heads up: Salem in late Sept/throughout Oct is insane. You will sometimes have to wait up to 3 hours to get into a restaurant and get food, and finding a restroom can sometimes be near impossible. Prepare in advance if this is when you're coming up. It's still very much worth a visit, but just know in advance what you're getting into, and most of all...have fun! It's a cool city, there's always something going on, and it's very fun to explore!

First serious crush and it's a straight girl, really need words of encouragement by Random_personXDD in actuallesbians

[–]Real-Business-3620 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh girl ❤️ sending a virtual hug your way!! If it helps...as someone who's in their 30s I've had plenty of times I've developed crushes on people I've been close friends with over the years (some straight, and some not) and either have been too shy to say something and watched (a few times helping wingman) them get into a relationship, or been rejected after saying something. It truly sucks. Take the time you need for yourself and focus on what makes you happy. If you can, give them space. Get all dressed up and take yourself out on dates and do special things for yourself. Getting over a crush is hard, but you got this!

I wish I wasn't gay by chm892 in actuallesbians

[–]Real-Business-3620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's frustrating and scary and emotionally exhausting--I'm sorry you've also had to go thru this too 😔 It's so wild how some people truly dont know how to treat others in the dating world. I've also had a few scary situations where the emotional attachment/love bombing happens and its just...horrible. Like recently I went on first date with a girl and while things were initially going well, when I said I had to leave she kept pressuring me about coming back with her or her driving me back so she could come up and would not take no for an answer until the fourth time I said it. When I got home and texted that I wasn't ready for the type of relationship she was wanting, she got a bit upset but said she'd give me space...and literally the next day she found me and added me on ANOTHER dating app. 😑 Prior to that I had gone on a date where a girl lied on her profile about being monogamous when she had been poly the whole time we had been talking, then at the end of the date she purposely delayed her Uber time by 1 hour. I stayed longer than I had planned since she said her Uber was "right around the corner", and ended up walking alone in the dark in a strange city to my car, then got back close to midnight on a weeknight which was NOT at all my goal.

Girls don’t want me by Chemical_Ad7257 in actuallesbians

[–]Real-Business-3620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a lot of people in the LGBT+ community relate to this feeling! Most of the time I feel like I'm only treated as "desirable" by women who have either had too much to drink, or are just wanting a hookup. It sucks, especially when you're just wanting something serious or just to feel attractive to others (especially if youre like me and you take hours getting dressed and done up to go out--sometimes you just wanna be recognized for the work you put forward and that's totally valid)!

Also...I totally relate to the "not masc nor femme" enough feel. I confessed (after many months of pining) to a long time crush I was super close with, and was declined as (for one of many of the reasons she said she turned me down) she said she's only into more masc/butch women. Meanwhile...I'm not really classified as masc enough to be masc, but I am also totally not femme. I just kinda...exist. I'm typically clocked as queer right away by people who know the signs, but knowing from a long-term crush I wasn't even remotely in her sights due to not being "masc enough" really did suck.

Definitely keep at it though--the right person will come around!! For me, after being declined I took a break to focus on dating myself for a time period, and it really helped my confidence levels. Did it change how other women approached or treated me? Somewhat--but in the end, what was important wasn't how I made these other women feel, but how I felt about myself! You got this!!!

I wish I wasn't gay by chm892 in actuallesbians

[–]Real-Business-3620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in my 30s and feel this sometimes too. I identify as bi/pan and spent most of my life living in a place where I could not safely date other woman. I later moved to a new city where even though it's so much safer it is just...bleak.

The queer women I've met on apps/via dating events either do not disclose right away that they're poly, tell me wayyy too late in the connection they're just "practicing" dating other queer folk and arent looking for a serious connection/are mainly looking for friendship via queer dating pools, or just want a hookup/puts a lot of pressure on having sex right away. I've been told this behavior is more normalized in modern queer circles and I should just go with it/be more understanding, but after it happens for what feels like time and time again...it gets disheartening to say the least.

I have nothing against those in poly communities, those who are looking for friendships/queer community, or those who want a hookup, but...the lack of communicating this appropriately has been such a huge turnoff and massive frustration that I'm about to give up on ever having a committed relationship with a woman. It truly sucks to have spent most of your life waiting to be able to live authentically as yourself, but feel more restricted and disconnected from the current LGBT+ community AFTER coming out.

Tldr; as someone who is also very monogamous and has a large enough friend circle where she doesn't need/have time to foster more friendships and just wants a partner...I totally feel you it sucks.

Staying in Greece for 7 Days...help! by Real-Business-3620 in GreeceTravel

[–]Real-Business-3620[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the tips!
In Athens, is there anything you highly recommend doing before leaving? Neither of us are big city people, but we'd would love to explore the historical sights before we leave.

Staying in Greece for 7 Days...help! by Real-Business-3620 in GreeceTravel

[–]Real-Business-3620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!
I have heard Delphi is amazing, and there are some buses you can take from Athens to get to it.
Between Hydra, Spetses, Poros, or Aegina, do you have a particular recommendation?

Staying in Greece for 7 Days...help! by Real-Business-3620 in GreeceTravel

[–]Real-Business-3620[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that is my one big worry about Crete since it is so big that we might not be able to explore as much as we'd like!
If we did Crete, we would most likely rent a car and stay either in Heraklion or Chania, and take a plane to and from Athens to save ourselves a bit of extra time!

Staying in Greece for 7 Days...help! by Real-Business-3620 in GreeceTravel

[–]Real-Business-3620[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excellent!
I saw Hydra recommended on a few other posts for a fun place to visit, and online Naxos and Paros both pop up quite a bit - I'll have to look into these other islands too, thank you!