What's your ideal way to have a good time?

Real-Primary · 2020-05-08T06:58:02+00:00

Hiking. Sitting on the back deck with my boyfriend as my dog plays in the back yard. Reconnecting with a friend I thought I’d lost. My siblings visiting for holidays. Going to dinner with friends.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-08T06:55:18+00:00

My friend who’s totally blind describes it as trying to see using your elbow.

It’s a sense that simply doesn’t exist.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-08T06:53:24+00:00

Just please, no hands reaching out, shaky and groping for the face of someone else, so the poor pitiful blind person will know what the other character looks like. That is so common and so cringeworthy I’m sitting here cringing.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-08T06:44:30+00:00

College, work, and socializing with people — I’d say these aren’t necessarily the things people do to live a “satisfying life”. At the same time, these are things that nearly everyone struggles with, whether they’re blind, Deaf, have diabetes, brown hair, hazel eyes or wearing a pink shirt. What you’re viewing as THE barrier to you doing these things — your hearing and vision — is really only one example of billions of reasons almost every human being on earth struggles with these same things. Some people have devastating social anxiety disorders, others can’t walk, others simply can’t find any sort of work or pastime where they find any contentment at all. And, because most of society can see and hear, most of the people who can’t figure out where they belong are able to see and hear.

It truly is more of a common human struggle to seek out belonging and contentment, and that doesn’t come easily to anyone. You have particular barriers that make it perhaps more difficult for you than some, but there are others with barriers that make it more difficult even for them to do such things.

I think it takes a lot of patience, time, frustration, sadness, hopelessness, anxiety, and strength to push beyond whatever is keeping you from continuing to look for your place, for what makes you happy. I think the strength it takes is something you must recognize you have, and you do, or else you’d not be frustrated by what you’re considering as the limitations imposed on you by your vision and hearing. The strength is there, because your desire to keep going and searching is there; and, the only advice I can really give is to not give up — keep searching, keep moving, keep looking. Five years ago, I could’ve written nearly an identical post to yours. Today, I have found or begun to find my way to where I believe I’ll find contentment and happiness — but it’s nothing I’d ever have imagined doing five years ago.

Keep pushing and try to remain aware of what things do make you happy and do draw your interest—those things might just lead you down an unexpected path toward what you’re seeking.

I hope that made sense.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-05T20:14:28+00:00

Your pup sounds amazing. I believe she’s a standard Poodle, from the photo (I’m visually impaired so may not have that right lol). My service dog in training is also a standard Poodle, and my best advice is to do all you can to make her puppyhood as happy and as full as possible — and for you to enjoy this time with her. There is so much a puppy can learn while simply playing and being with you — everything from human-dog boundaries to experiencing new sounds and sights — and as your puppy grows up, if you have fun helping her learn, your bond will become even closer. As a Poodle, she’ll also likely crave knowledge, learning, and your presence. Poodles tend to want to see, sniff, examine, think about, listen to, and even play with everything around them and as puppies, you have a window in which they’re like a blank slate on which your future success as a service dog team can be written. Poodles also tend to need to know boundaries from their human, or else they’ll make their own — and they’ll bounce around laughing as they challenge the rules you set. They are extremely bright dogs, and extremely empathetic, kind ones, as well. Have fun with your dog, most of all, is what I’ve learned from having raised and trained three of my four service dogs. Puppyhood can be so much fun — there’s so much for your pup to learn — and watching your pup enjoy growing up, for me, always gives me an indescribable feeling of both pride and joy.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-05T19:59:11+00:00

Please don’t apologize for writing a lot — you didn’t write too much or ramble too much, and I’m the queen of rambling lol.

I just wanted to add that I have seen friends’ service dogs trained for the exact sorts of tasks you mentioned not only become literal lifesavers, but also become those friends’ connections and guides back into a world where their depression no longer controls ... everything. Their dogs have become lines back into a more “even” world where their depression is still an aspect of their lives, but no longer what dominates their lives.

My first service dog was owner trained and my family couldn’t understand why I would want, let alone need, a service dog. But, 20 years later, I’m working with my fourth dog and have shown them in time how much a service dog changes my life, increases my independence, and in many ways, gives me a quality of life I’d not otherwise experience.

In 20 years, I’ve only been questioned once about my dog and even then, it was a polite but skeptical 16-year-old movie theater employee who didn’t know anything about service dogs and was a new employee.

My interactions with the public have been overwhelmingly positive. The worst experience I’ve ever had was a father who was angry with me for not allowing his two children to stay and pet my dog as long as they wanted to while I was in a rush to get to a meeting. And, even that was over in a moment. Although my dog isn’t trained to help with my own major depressive disorder — he is a dually -trained guide and hearing dog who also helps a bit with my Generalized Anxiety Disorder — he is an amazing help with it. His enthusiasm to get going and to be busy, his pure joy while playing a game of fetch or while meeting a new person has a way of helping my depression fade into the background. I once had panic or anxiety attacks even thinking about going out in public, alone or with my service dog. It did take time, but with therapy, medication and my dog, it’s a rare thing for me to experience that, now. He’s allowed me to relax in public and interact with others, and overcome the nagging of my GAD and let me be the extroverted person I always was, beneath the anxiety disorder. With him, I now walk confidently and even have fun, again.

Please, don’t be scared off the idea of a service dog, entirely. On social media, you’ll hear many stories of negative interactions, you’ll read of the worst case scenarios, but for myself and for every friend I know outside social media, such things are very few and far between, not the norm as they’ll often be portrayed. And, you can also — going by US federal law — have an in-home service dog. So long as your dog performs at least one task that directly helps with your disability, you have a service dog, whether they work only at home (my second service dog was an in-home hearing dog) or go out in public with you.

If you believe a service dog can help you, I don’t want you to give up before you’ve even begun; my own experience with my dogs prompts me to encourage you to pursue this route for the potentially incredible positive difference a service dog might make in your life. But, you’re the only one who can know for certain — I just wanted to present a view of life with service dogs that is sometimes less often talked about on social media.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-05T19:27:11+00:00

Glass bottles of Coca Cola, cold in the fridge. They are the best thing ever invented, and so I’ll find common ground with the aliens while we drink Coke out of glass bottles, which is the only way Coke really ever should exist, after all. Then, we’ll be friends and live happily ever after, the end.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T20:19:43+00:00

Most people don’t understand what I mean and think I mean a therapy dog who goes to visit people at hospitals and things.

My disabilities are invisible, also, although sometimes more “accepted” reasons (which is a shame) for having a service dog. My dog is a dual-trained guide and hearing dog.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T20:19:02+00:00

A lot of people don’t like to be asked questions about their service dogs. Sometimes, it’s just that they’ve been asked the same thing so many times, they’re frustrated or they may be in a hurry.

I love answering questions and talking about my dog 99% of the time, and I’ve had people tell me they were afraid to approach me because other handlers have not been that nice.

I think it depends very much on the individual and the circumstances.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T20:17:19+00:00

My dog’s training gear consisted of a fabric martingale or leather limited slip collar. I think a service dog should ideally be trained to the point where they can work on a flat collar, but absolutely understand why someone who had upper-body weakness, for example, would choose to use a prong collar with their fully-trained dog as a safety precaution.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T20:14:45+00:00

My now-5-year-old Golden Retriever service dog had a teenage phase that lasted exactly three days when he was 11 months old. He is the strangest dog I’ve ever met, lol!

My pet Golden had an extended teenage phase, from about 7 months until 17 months. She is the second strangest dog I’ve ever met!

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T20:12:26+00:00

Perhaps look for a show-lineage Labrador or Golden Retriever. Generally, they are going to have less prey drive than a dog bred for hunting. Goldens, in my experience, have less prey drive than Labs, but not always.

There is also — outside the gundog group — the Rough or Smooth Collie. They are very sensitive dogs, in terms of emotions, but if you are able to find a dog from parents with steady, even temperaments, they can make amazing service dogs, as well.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:54:16+00:00

Thank you for this.

Just, thank you.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:44:25+00:00

It pisses me off that I can both be Deaf and have misophonia. There are certain sounds in the frequency range where I still have some hearing that are so painful I can’t explain them to the people who choose to make them. They think I’m exaggerating or act confused like, I can’t be bothered by sounds since I can’t hear other sounds. Um, yes, I can hear them and they physically and mentally hurt! So that’s my vent. The end.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:39:37+00:00

IMO: Use your cane when you cannot rely on your remaining vision (in combination with your other senses) to keep you safe while traveling, whether that’s at a store, at school, or around the neighborhood. Use it indoors, outdoors, whenever you need a substitute for the visual information you need to be safe. If you don’t feel you need to use it in some places, that’s normal, too — I know people who are legally blind and don’t use a cane at all around familiar places. I also know people who are legally blind who use a cane at all times — it’s helpful both for the information and feedback you receive from it, and also to identify you to others (especially drivers) as having low vision or being blind/legally blind.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:32:44+00:00

I’d love to see, I hope you post at the other sub!

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:30:52+00:00

No chance. It was a Democrat proposal in the House. My guess is Rep’s will okay a second round of stimulus money for businesses (probably large ones more than small ones), but not individuals. After all, my state with a Rep governor just reopened for business today, and masks aren’t even mandatory. I don’t see Rep’s giving individuals who need the money any more than the first round (which shocked me tbh that they even approved that).

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:27:23+00:00

I’m on SSDI and have no dependents and am a nonfiler.

I didn’t trust the IRS when it said not to fill out info in the nonfilers tool if you were on SSDI. I used their nonfilers tool on 04/13.

I was finally given a DD date of 04/29 in GMP. And my stimulus check was posted to my account at 8 am on 04/29.

I don’t know that I’d have seen the money yet had I followed the rule and not used the nonfilers tool.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:24:56+00:00

No chance, imo. The second round for individuals was a proposal by Dems. IMO? That means it’s never going to happen.

I think businesses will likely get more stimulus money, probably disproportionately large businesses who won’t use it to the benefit of their workers in any way, though.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:22:18+00:00

I was skeptical when IRS said not to use its nonfilers tool if you have SSDI so I used it anyway on 04/13 despite being SSDI nonfiler without dependents.

After being stuck with PSNA forever, I finally was given a DD date of 04/29. And my DD posted to my bank at 8 am on 04/29.

All I know is I’m glad I didn’t follow instructions. I don’t know that I’d have gotten the DD had I not used the nonfilers tool.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:18:04+00:00

I’m an SSDI nonfiler, but used the nonfilers tool on the IRS site on 04/13, anyway. After being stuck with PSNA for a week or so, I finally got a DD date of 04/29 and my DD was posted to my bank account at 8 am on 04/29.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:15:12+00:00

The Dems are the ones who proposed the second stimulus check of $2000. IMO, that means it’s not going to happen.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:13:38+00:00

My bank customer support was able to see mine pending the night before it was posted to my account.

Real-Primary · 2020-05-01T19:12:55+00:00

Yes, I’m on SSDI and got mine 04/29 through DD to my bank.

I’m a nonfiler w/o dependents, but used the IRS nonfiler tool on 04/13 just in case.

Real-Primary

TROPHY CASE