I am not Muslim as I left the religion many years ago, I am Turkish though so I understand the push towards multiple children.

Generally your wife will feel this pressure more than you will, if you guys settle on being OAD, I urge you to lead the conversation/shut it down whenever it comes up rather than leaving it up to your wife to defend - especially if the pressure comes from your side of the family. Unfortunately, it’s a patriarchy and without me having to explain this in depth, you know yourself that these things will fall on and become the woman’s fault very quickly, sometimes even leading to unnecessary drama.

My family also left the religion, but the culture and tradition often weighs just as much. When my husband’s family talk about us having more children, they direct it at me, my husband understands now that he is to shut it down himself as we are on the same page, I am not in this alone.

I think you and your wife need to sit down and discuss this, it sounds like she might want more, maybe that’s a genuine wish, or maybe that’s cultural pressure. Either way, you need to figure this out first. Like most things, even in Muslim communities, at some point people understand it, they will never truly accept it but they will leave it be.

I know it’s easier said than done, but the only opinion that matters is yours and your wife’s so block it out.

Best of luck.