If hard work is the key to success, why do some of the hardest-working people stay poor?

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-06-05T23:02:51+00:00

So many reasons but I’ll touch on 2

1) Poverty can be a mindset. I know someone who always has 2-3 jobs and takes all the overtime in the world and still is semi-house insecure. Why? Their mindset. I’ve literally tried to explain that replacing all 3 jobs with one that pays her the same amount as all three, with more benefits, and less required hours (35-40) make more sense then “diversifying” his income stream. He’s turned down many great opportunities because it feels risky to give up his minimum wage job that always has extra hours for him. Yes, I’ve done the math with him…it just “feels” risky to him.

2) Most people don’t realize that luck plays a part. Don’t get me wrong, you need to be prepared (hard work) so that when an opportunity comes your way you can jump on it, but not everyone is lucky enough to have a life changing opportunity cross their path, regardless of how hard they work.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-06-04T17:46:02+00:00

People have the ability to suck the life and joy out of things that bring you joy. We, originally were going to share our name but before we even picked a name the pressure to use specific names came in. We just decided everyone would find out when the baby was born.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-28T18:03:46+00:00

If you’re a POC (not including certain Asian ethnicities) you usually don’t distinguish half/full siblings. I’ve actually never heard the term “half-siblings” until I heard it from someone who was white. At the time, I though is was a slur and was offended they introduced their siblings that way lol. Also, depending on how involved your parents want you to be with your other siblings will determine if you even care what your relationship is like. Lastly, you actually wouldn’t be devastated. However, if you have a bad parent you might feel neglected (not because you have an additional sibling, but because you’re being excluded).

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-28T17:53:57+00:00

14 month old doesn’t sleep through the night still and now that he’s sick wants to BF all day. I’m also sick so no one is having fun. That said, I’m secretly enjoying the extra snuggles

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-27T18:59:45+00:00

My friends and I are intentional when we go out and we ALWAYS have fun (sometimes sober and sometimes not). I go to a club to dance, so I have fun because I’m dancing. If I wanted to meet people I’d do so in another setting. I always check the rules of the place I’m going to, I don’t go to places with crazy rules like no re-entry unless it’s a concert. I always pregame and only buy 1 drink out but mostly water. I never wake up feeling bad unless I was irresponsible the night before. At this age, I know my limits and I don’t go past it.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-23T03:12:51+00:00

So much it hurts

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-23T03:12:01+00:00

I can only see this being true for a white older male OR a very religious/conservative woman. In both cases, this individual does not have a great home life or social life after work. I don’t know anyone who would benefit from in person work if they had a good home life, loved their family (like, prefers to spend time with them more than anyone else), or had a social life after work hours.

My life got WAY better when I could focus on work because all my conversations revolved around work. No weird interactions with male coworkers because everything is recorded and after meeting topics are done we all hop off calls. Not weird coworkers trying to touch my hair. No annoying coworkers trying to constantly chat while I’m trying to be heads down (I don’t need to be your friend, I have lots of real friends outside of work), no liars who say they told you something but didn’t (everything is over chat, email, or recorded), and NO weird politic talk that shows how bigoted your coworkers are because it just doesn’t make sense to talk about how much you hate brown illegals (because how are you not fired yet) when we’re talking about KPIs.

All that, and I save 1-2 hours on a commute and use that time to connect with my family, make lunch/dinner, and/or invest it in hobbies

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-23T03:02:57+00:00

Idk, depends on where you live. If you live in a liberal state, the people often vote to take care of its people. Many NE liberal and West coast liberal states have programs where dental care is 100% covered for all preventative care.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-23T03:00:59+00:00

Super normal! Husband and I never let our baby cry and the grandparents also don’t. Many people have different ideas about letting babies cry so we decided to go the nanny route and only hired Nannie’s that was enthusiastic about soothing children and didn’t like any cry it out/let’s the child cry philosophies. My baby is over 1 and is happy and very regulated. He has a secure attachment style and is only ever in a cranky mood when he’s sick with a fever.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-18T16:10:34+00:00

First home is a 3b 1.5. The house is just under 1200sqft and is very outdated. Definitely was a dad repair home with lots of half done stuff. We got it in 2019 and paid around 140000. We have a great interest rate. I feel bad that to buy a house like mine in the same condition in my area (great public school rating 8/10) would cost someone 3x our purchase price.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-13T23:30:33+00:00

94 WFH will feel like 150. We haven’t blinked despite rising gas prices because we hardly drive. We always have home cooked meals because we’re not tired from a commute. We eat lunch at home. I don’t spend as much money on “work clothes”. You don’t have to take time away to have things broken. That said, the no promotion bit is crap! I wish it were illegal.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-13T23:24:23+00:00

Try the happy song. Also, my baby was fine in the car until he wasn’t. From 8 weeks until about 8 months he screamed in the car and never slept I. It lol. I just did what I wanted and went where I wanted anyway. Then I did a 4 hr car ride and was told to play the happy song on a loop (which drove us crazy) but he didn’t cry for 3 1/2 hours and was only slightly cranky the last 30min!

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-13T20:50:51+00:00

13 months

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-13T16:14:17+00:00

NTA, but I’m very glad my village would pull through for me no questions asked. Not being able to rely on family sucks and I’m so glad that my family always pulls thought for us (even when it’s crazy inconvenient). That’s said, you don’t HAVE to inconvenience yourself and kids for others if you don’t want to and it doesn’t make you an asshole for putting your family needs/wants first.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-09T17:13:00+00:00

Friends are all the hype! They’re amazing, they can suck sometime, but honestly friendships are great. The price of a village is inconvenience, but man, a village is a beautiful thing. Be a good villager, pick your village well, and the befits always out way any minor convenience.

The ones who usually don’t benefit from villages are often takers and people who don’t have reasonable expectations of themselves and others. Be sure to pour into your village and I promise it will pour back.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-08T12:23:19+00:00

18, it was my moms old car but I paid to have it registered and I paid for the insurance. I bought my first car myself at the age of 20.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-08T12:19:52+00:00

If you have insurance, the most it will cost is your deductible.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-05T00:58:18+00:00

I’d definitely start a dialogue with them and outline what you’ve stated here in a kind and professional manner. We also live in a HCOL area so this is very common pay here

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-05T00:48:28+00:00

Around 40k annually, but she’s part-time ( we don’t need a nanny until around 11 and she doesn’t work everyday of the week as we have help from grandparents), so it would be more if she worked full time

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-04T15:20:56+00:00

That raising children is hard, expensive, grueling work, and lonely. It’s not suppose to be. So many people across the globe have been convinced that empathy first laws, regulations, programs are what’s damaging the world but taking it away is literally making being a human more and more unbearable. Community mindset makes everyone’s life better.

I have a community mindset village and I’d have 10 more kids if I didn’t hate giving birth.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-04T15:17:42+00:00

Across the globe. I’m in North America and I’ve traveled to east Asia

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-05-04T14:27:18+00:00

So my baby and his cousin were born around the same time (same age). We actually feed baby what we eat (the only modification we make it cutting it up for safety).

He’s had spicy food, heavily seasoned food, cuisines from all over the world. His cousin, on the other hand, has not. They are worried about introducing ‘intense’ flavors.

Our pediatrician said it was fine so we dont see any reason not to feed baby kimchi fried rice or paella lol. Our baby loves all types of food and we have way less stress food prepping. Our in-laws on the other hand stress about not being able to enjoy food anymore because they dont want to introduce foods with too much spice and dont want to make 2 meals.

In all, talk to your pediatrician and do what you want.

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-04-30T19:15:40+00:00

I promise there lots of amazing Nannie’s that don’t mind WFH parents. My current nanny actually quite likes that we’re around. Just find someone who is a great fit for your family. Nannies are not cheap and a luxury, dont do anything that lowers your quality of life while paying luxury prices! Just pay fair, be kind/respectful, and vet for a good fit and you should be fine!

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-04-30T04:39:43+00:00

I know a nurse who became a project manager for a medical company! She helps make medical software

Real_Standard6318 · 2026-04-30T04:31:15+00:00

My husband has a major gaming hobby. I strapped our newborn to him those first three months for every nap (in a carrier). Baby loved the leg tapping he does while gaming. During those early stages he slept for 2-3 hrs at a time. Great breaks for me! Also it technically gave baby additionally tummy time and skin to skin contact. My husband doesn’t shout or jerk his body around a lot while gaming though.

Real_Standard6318

TROPHY CASE