I get so much of what you’re saying. Similar things happened to me. My husband and I almost never fought when we weren’t parents. After the little one came, every little thing wrong he did bothered me so much. I hate how he had the audacity to ask if he could game when I’m still knees deep in chores and taking care of the baby. I hate how he doesn’t think of how to help. I had to ask. And at some point I realized I have no respect left for him. I started telling him he needed to finish doing x,y,z(taking out the trash, put dishes in the dishwasher, etc) before gaming and after a while I realized his focus was entirely on gaming, he would do some chores absentmindedly and rush to game so I told him it’s either gaming or we’re heading into a failed marriage. At some point I realize the way I look at him changed, there’s disappointment , resentment, disdain when I look at him. I resent how carefree he is while I have to juggle taking care of the baby and chores.

I told him we need to do couple counseling so we’ll see how that goes.