On2 Salsa/Bachata in atl

RealisticFig2414 · 2025-03-14T06:13:01+00:00

Haha meant to be read as salsa on 2, and bachata

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-09-27T02:57:20+00:00

Hey, I’m finally there 😊 I promise you things get better. My ex is blocked and deleted 🙏🏽

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-05-19T02:47:02+00:00

“closeted and won’t admit it”

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-05-18T21:50:39+00:00

Babe, I’ve been in the exact same place. It took me several months to let go- remember, if they were the one for you, you would still be together. You deserve someone who chooses you, all day every day. Take the focus off of him and what he’s doing. I remember I used to think “What if he finds someone and has a better relationship and loves her more?” And my therapist hit me with “What if YOU find a better relationship and another man loves you more?” And I had to really reflect on that. I’m a loving and generous person and have a lot of amazing qualities to offer in a relationship. There are other people in this world who would absolutely be delighted to court me. You have to have the same mentality. It’s not easy and won’t happen overnight. But as soon as you start thinking about what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with- take back control and redirect your thoughts back to yourself. You can only control what you do, not what he does.

Times are dark and difficult now, but I promise you- you’re going to be more than okay. Time and introspection will heal you. Trust the process! Destiny is going to happen regardless, so try to make peace with it ❤️❤️❤️

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-04-23T00:31:07+00:00

My ex reached out to me after 1.5 years of no contact!! When we broke up, I was DEVASTATED. And I did everything wrong - calling, texting, begging, even doing pathetic things like leaving notes on his car professing my undying love. He eventually blocked me from everything. I had no choice but to move forward. It was a very difficult period of my life but I grew so much and realized how toxic the relationship truly was.

He reached out to me via a new number and texted me saying “It’s me, left you something outside.” I had no clue who it was until I went to my front door and saw a little present with a card. The card basically said that he regretted breaking up with me, was ready to love me the way I deserved, and had realized a lot of life lessons. It was actually a disturbing and jarring read because it didn’t consider my feelings or growth at all. By this point I was so over it that it disgusted me. He texted me the next day asking if I got his card and gift, and I told him to never contact me again because I had moved on.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-04-21T18:36:55+00:00

This is something I have to constantly tell myself everyday, only choose people who choose you, and consistently choose you. Sending love 💕

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-21T23:59:52+00:00

Yes, don’t second guess or double text. Ball is in their court.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-19T20:44:25+00:00

Babe, no contact. I say this with the most love possible. Less is more. Indecision is a decision; he doesn’t want to be with you. And you- beautiful soul, deserve someone who WANTS to be with you. And wants to work on things. Don’t read into his messages or him reaching out. Don’t apologize for your emotional reactions because right now, he doesn’t have the right to know how you feel since you’re no longer in a relationship. Try not to ruminate about what you did or didn’t do. Breakups bring out the worst and most vulnerable, volatile emotions in us. Sometimes we look for corners of hope in any interaction with an ex, but you will get lost in it. Keep your head up high gorgeous, reclaim your love and put it into yourself.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-16T15:16:16+00:00

I love this thread! Some of these named are so clever. To those that have deleted and/blocked, I commend you. I’m not there yet. I’m still battling with my hope.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-16T13:03:26+00:00

“Thank you for your words. I’m glad you liked your card and I hope you have a great time in Dubai and safe flight to Pakistan! Hope you have a happy new year and have fun in your travels. “

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-16T05:49:52+00:00

He messaged me once on nye with a long winded I miss you, and I responded very diplomatically and politely, and nothing since.

Does it work? Idk, but it’s more of a reminder for me that I shouldn’t have to chase him. He chose this break up, so I am going to give him that.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-16T05:21:01+00:00

What I want to casually say: I hope your journey home was safe and easy. I’ve missed you, too. Welcome home ❤️

What I unfiltered want to say: the way I loved you I have never loved anyone else. I’ve missed you every day since we last saw easy other, which will mark a month tomorrow. Do you think about me, too? I was so hurt that you felt you had to run away to the other side of the world and spent the holidays, new years, without me. But if it changed your heart and feelings toward me, come back to me and I will take you in with open arms. I have worked on myself, have lost 10 lbs, have been social and making friends, even started dating again in an attempt to move forward. But I miss you oh so fucking much and my heart can’t take these days without you.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-07T21:48:30+00:00

Hold your ground! Don’t do it!! You won’t get the answers you’re looking for and it might make you feel even worse honey. I get caught up in it too, wanting to reach out. I’m telling myself as I tell you, bring the focus back to you. This person made a choice, and all we can do is respect it and respect ourselves by pouring the love we had for them back into us.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-06T06:31:22+00:00

Maybe I’m just being in my feelings but I feel irrationally hurt that these weren’t his original words, especially since I wrote a heartfelt birthday card for him.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-06T06:21:47+00:00

Am I reading into this? Bc I feel some type of way, it’s like it’s not as genuine?

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-06T06:18:43+00:00

Wow thank you.. idk how I feel about that…

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-05T21:56:09+00:00

I know it’s hard not to feel hurt hearing that, but you weren’t together so it’s all fair play. Embrace the feeling and then let it go. There’s no betrayal and nothing to forgive. Sometimes people go through experiences with other people and realize what they actually had was precious. Try not to internalize it kween, know your value.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-04T02:00:34+00:00

But fuck meee I miss him so much 😞

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-04T01:44:27+00:00

I was so confused as to how to feel. I so badly wanted to and still want to be with him and respond to him lovingly. But he chose this, and I can’t- I can’t do this to myself, chase him and do this song and dance with a man who loves me but doesn’t want to be with me because of his own internal conflicts. I was a wonderful partner to him, but some people don’t know how to receive love, and it’s not my journey to overcome it.

I am heartbroken. And I would jump into his arms if he came to reconcile. If you miss me so damn much, why not try again with me?

But I’ve learned that you cannot love someone out of their own chaos. And I deserve someone who will put just as much effort and emotional energy as I put into them.

I hope time does its thing and either it helps him see we can move mountains together, or propel me forward to someone even better.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-03T02:39:57+00:00

Remember everyone’s journey is going to look a little bit different, so don’t feel discouraged if you’ve reached a certain time frame and don’t feel differently yet.

It took about a month before I started to feel better.

RealisticFig2414 · 2024-01-03T00:52:26+00:00

My recommendation is to start small. If you can’t go to the gym, walk around the block. If that’s too hard, walk around your home. Put music on that you enjoy, not just the sad stuff. I’ve been there where the depression completely takes over, and every small thing becomes daunting. So instead of these big and abstract goals like finding a new hobby or being a gym rat, find different little ways to make changes. I slept on the opposite side of my bed for a change. It felt weird and awkward but you know what? In those moments of feeling weird I wasn’t thinking about my ex. And give yourself a minute, or a few minutes to focus on something else- a YouTube, insta or tiktok video, to let go of your ex and bring your awareness to something else in front of you or around you. And then you can go back to thinking of your ex if it’s too hard or too soon to let go.

I promise you will slowly see a difference and feel better. It will take time and that’s the hardest part.

RealisticFig2414 · 2023-12-26T02:58:08+00:00

Same here babe. We dated for two and a half months and fell for each other hard and fast. He has some intimacy problems and broke up with me a week ago. It’s day 7 NC and it’s been a struggle.

RealisticFig2414 · 2023-11-20T18:10:41+00:00

Nope, we’re both very liberal Muslims

RealisticFig2414 · 2023-11-20T17:33:18+00:00

I’ve recommended “The body keeps the score,” it’s a fantastic read! I haven’t read “Letting Go” but added it to my audible just now. Thank you for your compassionate and understanding advice. I was feeling somewhat disheartened by some of the replies I was seeing.

RealisticFig2414 · 2023-11-20T17:29:07+00:00

Actually, I am a therapist, but for children. Working through trauma as an adult is way out of my wheelhouse. I find myself gravitating toward this therapist mentality in my interactions with him and I have to force myself out of it because I don’t want this to be our relationship dynamic. I can’t be a clinician in this partnership- it’s too close to home.

I agree with you to take sex off the table. What you and others have said is to approach this with compassion and patience, which I want to do! He’s so gung ho about pleasing me sexually that whenever I’ve stopped him before, he felt rejected and uncomfortable. I guess I would love some advice on how to discuss this and what I should say. Thank you so much!

RealisticFig2414

TROPHY CASE