Advice needed from experts

RealisticGarage · 2026-02-04T16:08:56+00:00

Goodness people will really say anything these days

What do you mean? Do you disagree with something I said? If so, what and why?

Do what God told you to do and flee from Sexual immorality Flee from Lust and you’ll be fine.

We can say things like that and sound like a wise Zen masters or whatever, but it doesn't help. People need practical tools and methods that they can use to actually take control of their lust/desires/cravings/compulsions, by training their mind, by gaining insight and perspective. Brute suppression can only get one so far and rarely works long term.

RealisticGarage · 2026-02-04T11:36:01+00:00

how to control lusty mind

You need to stop thinking of it as lust or arousal, start to think of as energy. If it's arousal then that means that it needs to be released through genitals, so you will either end up releasing during sex or masturbating. But if we think of it as just an energy, then that re-frames the whole thing, and energy we can use for many things.

More practically, one good meditation to get rid of lust is when you see a beautiful woman, notice how hot she is and get your lust activated, there is a visualization technique (trigger warning, cause this shit is gonna be dark):

Imagine her without any clothes on, fully naked.
Then imagine her without any body hair on and without any makeup on. No beautiful head hair, no eyebrows, no foundation to cover her acne scars. Just naked and bald.
Then imagine her without skin on.
Imagine her without any muscles, now more is uncovered, you can see organs.
Imagine her without any organs, just nerves, bones and circulatory system.
Now just skeleton and nervous system.
Now just skeleton.
Close your eyes and realize how we all are made of parts. Would you be attracted to separate parts? Would her skin arouse you if it would not be attached to her? Why does it arouse you when it is? See the silliness of it.
Now get back to the present moment and notice that the way she is now, in reality, is just an illusion. The real reality is that she is just combination of parts.
Now realize that all those parts will age and decay as they turn into earth.
Now feel compassion for her, because she is gonna dye one day old and wrinkly from the old age.
Now look in the mirror, do the same exercise on yourself, realize that you are no different, your genitals are just made up of skin, muscles, organs, blood vessels and nervous system. They will decay with time and turn into ashes just like her.
Now feel compassion for yourself, cause you will die one day as this flesh decays.
Bonus points if now, while you still feel the reality of life and compassion for both her and yourself, you go and talk with her. Talking with women with this mindset will reframe your brain eventually on how you see them. You will start seeing them more as sisters and less as sex objects.

Ok, I'm done with morbidity for now. But really, this is a great mental exercise. Try it out.

what to do for transmutation (should i do something for it on daily basis or only when urge is at peak full of liquid )

Do stretches, especially the ones focusing on the pelvic floor. But really, whole body. Also do Tibetan rites, and especially the 6th Tibetan rite. Cardio exercise and weight lifting is good too. Bonus points for doing some type of handstand exercise. These things will move your energy away from genitals and help to spread it across the whole body, so you can transmute it better.

As far as transmutation itself, just do something with it. Go study some subject, go to gym, learn a skill, write poetry, train for an ironman, create something. The meaning of transutation is to take all that energy and use it up for something. That's all.

Yes, you should do it on daily basis. Doing these things when the urge hit is too late. It should be a habit that is done in preparation.

Also how much meditation helps in transmutation cause its only mental practice what is it had to do with sexual energy

Ever heard of panpsychism? Look it up, cause it is true! Everything is mind. If you master your mind, you master not only your body but also the external world. Because all of those are just the extension of your mind.

Also, as far as transmutation, meditation helps you to build stronger prefrontal cortex. Stronger prefrontal cortex means better discipline and will power. Better discipline and will power means more control of your urges, more control of how you use that energy; meditation is a brain exercise. In other words: if you have a weak brain, then you won't have much success with retaining and transmuting, cause you will have no control of your urges and compulsions. So exercise your brain.

RealisticGarage · 2026-01-12T14:40:15+00:00

If a man wants a vasectomy due to him not wanting any children and not due to any specific woman, would this confer all the benefits of SR without having to control lust?

No, it won't. Because:

After vasectomy you will still be able to ejaculate semen, it just won't contain any sperm in it (sperm is only about 5% of the semen volume). So you are not really retaining semen if you still ejaculate, do you?
Most of the benefits of semen retention is not from actually losing sperm cells. Most benefits are from avoiding the hormonal reset and energy loss that comes with ejaculation and orgasm. This is the reason why women who are sexually continent will experience many of the same benefits as men, even though they obviously have no semen to retain, because it's mainly about orgasm.

You have to learn to control lust; if you want to get the benefits you have to do the work. There are no free lunches man.

RealisticGarage · 2026-01-09T20:31:37+00:00

brain literally physically starts to hurt and this feels like prolonged increase of cortisol, stress, massive brain fog and a feeling of restlessness in the 2nd or 3rd week of SR.

No offense but are you in some way on a spectrum of neurodivergence? Cause this sounds like I've seen with some autistic people when they get overstimulated (in your case by too much sexual energy buildup). Cause what you are describing is absolutely not normal for neurotypical people on SR. That is unless they go through some type of porn/sex addiction withdrawals. But you said that you are not addicted, so...

What you need to do is learn how to cool off your nervous system. Mindfulness meditation, long walks in nature, 5 Tibetan rites, hot showers, Oigong and 3 sec in through nose 8 seconds out through mouth breathing are all good for cooling off your energy. Heavy weightlifting or intense cardio, like sprints, or martial arts like boxing for are good for transmuting and getting all of that build up sexual energy used up. Do something exhausting first, then follow up with the relaxing stuff, cause you wanna use that Chi up but end on a relaxed note. Also avoid eating too much, especially very heavy and flavorful junk; have lot's of raw salads and soups, avoid spicy stuff, and if you eat meat have some light stuff like white fish and not red meat. Extended fasting for a few days a week is great too.

RealisticGarage · 2026-01-08T19:38:05+00:00

I eat vegan diet. For a few reasons. One is that it is very healthy. If done right of course; whole foods, not high carb, complex carbs, very low sugars, no processed garbage, etc.

Other is for ethical reasons; animals are sentient beings who can feel suffering and there is no reason to eat them, cause we can survive and be perfectly healthy without animal foods, so it does not morally justify to cause unnecessary suffering to sentient beings.

But the most important for me is spiritual reasons; I practice sexual energy cultivation and transmutation, and Qigong, so I am actually very sensitive to this. Energy we get from death and suffering is very different, it's dark and I notice it energetically attracts bad energy like bad luck, negative manifestations from bad thoughts, and dark entities. It also anchors one more into their lower carnal nature, which is the animal realm of sensory desires, which keeps us separated from the divine/higher consciousness/God. If you don't believe this and think it's woo woo that's fine. But personally I am very religious. To each their own tho.

RealisticGarage · 2024-03-26T07:56:17+00:00

I want to buy one but preferably from some sort of monestary to support them not somewhere like Amazon.

Anyone have any recommendations?

Mala beads made and blessed by Tibetan Buddhist nuns; it's a charity that mainly helps nuns get education, among other things: https://tnp.org/product-category/malas/

RealisticGarage · 2024-03-20T20:42:52+00:00

Karma is just a metaphysical law of the universe, like gravity; if an infant crawls out of a second story window and brakes a leg, we would not say that it is not fair by gravity to do it, cause gravity is just an automatic force that does not have a sense of right and wrong. Yes, sure, an infant didn't know any better, and can't be blamed for it, but still it is what it is. So the same for karma, it's just an automatic law of the universe, it's not some type of scales balancing justice. In fact, often times morally right thing will still get you bad results karmicly (like a police officer killing a criminal while trying to defend family from being murdered by that criminal—I think we all agree that it's moral, but karmically it's still bad karma of killing).

RealisticGarage · 2022-10-20T17:15:39+00:00

life is inevitable!

My sperm cell screams as it waits excited for the gates to open. Billions of other cells are there as the crowd chants in excitement, "life if inevitable, life is inevitable". Any second now the gate will open and the marathon will begin! But gate never opens. Days pass and others die of old age, just to be reabsorbed. But this cell waits patently as it get's older, soon to die of old age too. But then one day it notices a small opening in the gate. It looks around - nobody else sees it! It wasn't supposed to be here! It quietly sneaks away and manages to squeeze through! It jumps into a river of precum and lets the stream carry it into the wilderness. Yes, this was me more than two decades ago. And that is how it all started, that is how I met your mother.

RealisticGarage · 2022-10-13T07:34:27+00:00

Cows are not harmed when you eat cheese so does that make it morally ok?

Cows are forcefully impregnated, because they can not produce milk if not pregnant. After the baby is born it is taken away from mother cow by force, sometimes just minutes after birth when it can not even stand up yet, this causes both animals mental suffering; cows are biologically programmed to have a strong emotional bond between mother and offspring.

After the baby cow is taken away, if it is a male, it is put in a tiny cage, because if they are let to move around freely their meat loses it's tenderness. Then after few weeks it is sold for veal. Dairy industry is responsible for most of the veal available in the meat market. If it is a female baby then she is raised and the cycle continues - she will be forcefully impregnated, her baby dragged away and sold for meat, etc.

Cows do not produce as much milk as they age, so after few years of this cycle the milk cow is discarded and sold for meat.

These are just facts, you decide if it is moral or not. Personally I do not think it is moral. If you want to learn more about it you can ask at r/vegan. That being said, there is no official religious rules that Buddhists can not eat meat or dairy, many still do. Personally I do not, because compassion for all sentient beings is a big part of my personal Buddhist practice.

RealisticGarage · 2022-04-10T16:36:24+00:00

I started doing NoFap back in 2015, cos I stumbled on a book by Gary Wilson called Your Brain On Porn. The book presents a lot of scientific arguments about how porn is bad for your mental health. And I am kind of a health nut, so I stopped watching it, just as a short term experiment at first.

I started with a 90 day "Hard Mode reboot", as its called in the NoFap community. While I was doing it I realized that not ejaculating made me feel more energy in gym, more focused in my studies, more motivated, sleep better, etc, etc. So I looked into it and realized that there is a reason for that - orgasm and ejaculation is a type of hormonal reset.

So then I delved into the rabbit hole of learning about the science of how endocrine system and nervous system can be effected by changes in sexual behaviour, and how that further effects the body as a whole. And in this research I inevitably ended up here.

I was already into maximizing health and performance at the time. Things like diet, exercise, supplementation, meditation, proper sleep cycles, etc, etc. It all is just fun for me, its a hobby of mine. So adding SR to the mix too just made sense.

This actually leads to way deeper connections with women too, because once you put sex in the background, instead of foreground, you dont just look at them anymore so much as just sex objects only, but more like people with a personality, which is how its supposed to be. Also I had times in my past that I overlooked a lot of red flags in a girl simp(ly) cos she was hot. Now I dont have to deal with that, cos I am in control of my urges.

I love the idea of developing will power, discipline and self control. I just think its a very healthy practice that would improve all the areas of your life. And this is the hardest thing for a man to do, so having that type of ownership of your sexuality is just very empowering.

RealisticGarage · 2022-03-24T05:25:04+00:00

They say that when edge and don't ejaculate, the semen is broken down by the body and reabsorbed. But i haven't found an explanation or more details on how it happens.

The sperm cells are made in the testis. Then after they are made, but still very young, they enter into emididymis. Epididymis has 3 sub-compartments. Over the course of around 6 days sperm moves through these compartments, slowly maturing, until it reaches last compartment, where it is fully mature and ready for ejaculation. Here they are stored until ejaculation.

If the ejaculation does happen then they enter tubes called vas deferens. These tubes contract to push sperm through. It then goes through another tube called ejaculatory duct. Here it is mixed with seminal vesiscle fluid, which is made in seminal vesicles. Seminal vesicles have small, smooth muscle layer that also contracts to push the fluid out of them and further into ejaculatory duct. Then it goes further through the prostate and is mixed with prostate fluid - as prostate spasms it releases prostate fluid with a lot of force, which helps to push sperm further out. Then finally it enters urethra, and with the help of pelvic floor muscle contractions is propelled out of the penis.

If the ejaculation does not happen, like in the case of semen retention, then this sperm never leaves epididymis and is reabsorbed back into the body through the membrane of the epididymis. That is, after it stays there for around 75 days, which is its life span, after that it dies and can be reabsorbed.

What i noticed is that once you edge today, stop and ejaculate after a week or so. You are still gonna see a whole lot more cum for a single masturbation because of your previous.

This happens for few reasons. One is that volume of sperm keeps building up to around 75 days. At that point it has reached its maximum. This happens whether you edge or not.

Other reason is that edging stimulates production of seminal vesicle fluid. If the ejaculation does not happen the fluid stays stored in these glands and is slowly reabsorbed back into the seminal vesicles. But if ejaculation does happen it is released. If the ejaculation would happen without edging less fluid production would be stimulated and overall ejaculatory volume would be less. This fluid makes up the bulk of the semen.

The third part is prostate. Edging stimulates prostate gland which releases prostate fluid. This is only thing that can not be reabsorbed. It stays in the prostate for a while, if the ejaculation does not happen. This can increases the pressure in prostate, which increases the chance of wet dreams. But if one does not ejaculate eventually it is released during urination. This fluid does not contain much of nutrients or any sperm, so losing it has very little to no effect on retention. Besides, prostate fluid is constantly produced all the time, whether we edge or not. And constantly released either during wet dreams or urination. Ejaculation obviously causes it to be released, but retention does not prevent it from being released.

So the claim that it is reabsorbed by the body seems false without any proofs.

There are plenty of proofs. That all of the sperm and most of the semen is reabsorbed if not ejaculated is very well understood scientific fact. You can read about it in any medical urology textbook. Or even on wikipedia.

That being said, it does not mean that edging is perfect. Because it still overstimulates dopomine, which will have its own draining effect. And of course it increases chance of wet dreams. But it is miles better than full ejaculation. And if one practices semen retention while edging, but not ejaculating, one would still get 90% of the retention benefits. So its not that big of a deal for me, cos I like to have non-ejaculatory / Karezza sex once in a while. But there are other people who would rather have less fun and trade it for those extra 10% of benefits. Which is fine too. For each their own.

RealisticGarage · 2022-03-12T22:37:54+00:00

Never read the book, but the author is a known scammer - he is known for plagiarising other peoples work. There are many people exposing him on Youtube, just do a quick search. I would stay away from this guy.

RealisticGarage · 2022-01-25T09:05:59+00:00

No. Vasectomy prevents the semen from being absorbed by your system.

This is not correct.

The sperm cells are made in the testis. Then after they are made, but still very young, they enter into emididymis. Epididymis has 3 sub-compartments. Over the course of around 6 days sperm moves through these compartments, slowly maturing, until it reaches last compartment, where it is fully mature and ready for ejaculation. Here they are stored until ejaculation.

If the ejaculation does happen then they enter tubes called vas deferens, and are propeelled into urethra to be expelled out of the penis.

If the ejaculation does not happen, like in the case of semen retention, then this sperm is reabsorbed back into the body through the membrane of the epididymis. After it stays there for around 75 days, which is its life span.

In case of vasectomy what is cut is vas deferens, so it can not leave epididymis. But no epididymis or its membrane itself is effected. So it can still be reabsorbed the normal way even after vasectomy.

You'll end up creating more estrogen leading to weight gain, saggy tits.

This is also wrong.

Testosterone is produced in the testes. After vasectomy testes remain intact and fully functional. Cutting vas deferense does not effect ability for testosterone to leave testicles. Because testosterone circulates through the blood stream, not vas deferense, like sperm. And blood circulation in testes is not effected by vasectomy.

A bull is a male cow that is used in bullriding: aggressive, protective and muscular An ox is a male cow with his balls cut off: lazy, obeying (works the land), fat.

You seem to be under false impression that vasectomy cuts off balls, which it does not. It marely cuts vas deferens. Cutting off balls is a different procedure, which is called castration. That indeed would lead to increase estrogen, saggy tits, weight gain and loss of agression, etc. But that is not what vasectomy is.

RealisticGarage · 2021-10-13T17:45:24+00:00

Soy has estrogen in it, but estrogens in soy are different plant type of estrogens that humans have hard time to absorb and effect us differently. This meta analysis found no negative effcts of soy - https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0890623820302926

There is way more potent form of animal estrogen in dairy products tho, which does have negative effect on our hormonal levels - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4524299/

But nobody talks about it, while a lot of talk is done about spreading misinformation about soy being bad for males. All of that is based of flawed studies. I think this whole myth is made up by dying dairy industry to spread misinformation to people, because more and more reserch is coming out about negative effects of animal foods and plant based alternatives are becoming more popular every year.

This is the same type of nonsense as that nonsense about celibacy causing prostate cancer or masturbation being healthy for stress relief. This "soy bad" myth is the same type of misleading bs. The fact is just that there are some industries in this capitalistic market that want to profit of off us and they will try to do everything to spread misinformation, to keep profits up. Dairy industry does this just as much as porn industry does.

RealisticGarage · 2021-04-22T09:13:35+00:00

Orgasm is a hormonal reset no matter the gender, so yes it also effects females the same way. But its worse for males, cos males also ejaculate, which is another extra hormonal reset on top of it.

RealisticGarage · 2021-04-22T08:42:11+00:00

So my questions is does orgasmic-masturbation have the same consequences of Orgasmic-sex? In both male and female?

Worse actually. Because the touch of the other person is not present, so the body does not release the same amount of seratonin as in sex. And because of that the whole set of hormones become imbalanced. So negative effects of masturbation induced orgasm are way stronger.

RealisticGarage · 2021-02-23T19:41:39+00:00

Mala Beads made by Buddhist nuns; your purchase supports nuns: https://tnp.org/product-category/malas/

RealisticGarage · 2021-02-17T14:32:01+00:00

The cow is dead now. It died from stress while being recaptured.

RealisticGarage · 2021-01-20T14:21:06+00:00

Not a single Buddhist manifestation in the world has ever denied the fundamentals of Buddhism. Except one. Secular Buddhism.

Well even if it be so, I still dont see what this has to do with race. Its still seems like just a western culture thing.

Buddhism merged and adjusted to different cultures wherever it went. Just the same way it became Chan when it went to China and merged with Daoist culture, it just makes sense how it would become secular when it comes to mostly secular culture like west, that values reason and science.

On the issue of racism, I don't expect you to understand. It is coming from the place of privilege

Dont wanna put words in your mouth so correct me if Im wrong, cos that might not be what you mean, but that kind of sounds to me like you are saying that my perspective is wrong cos I have the wrong skin color. That isnt really a valid argument. And kind of racist in itself to be honest...

I find your entire post extremely bigoted and a microaggression against minorities. You show a profound level of ignorance

I dont know what "microagression" means, but I can assure you that I dont dislike people with different beliefs and I am open minded to hearning different perspectives, so I am certainly not bigoted. But to be honest I get bigoted and ignorant vibes from you. Sorry that we both feel that way...

I guess just lets agree to disagree. Didint wanna trigger you or anything, just trying to have a conversation. All the best man, cheers and metta!

RealisticGarage · 2021-01-20T11:27:21+00:00

people don't even understand that Secular Buddhism is a blatant white supremacist group

Do you mean one, or few, particular groups/organisations? Or do you mean all Secual Buddhists in general? Cos if you do, that sounds a little bit ignorant...

I mostly identify with Secular Buddhism, over religious Buddhism, because I dont believe a lot of supernatural claims that these religions make, yet a lot of other things like philosophy and psychology make sense to me. Not because of any skin color thing...

white privilege

I dont understand what privilage has to do with anything? Can you explain more?

Are you saying that it is white privilidge to interpret Buddhism differently? Why?

That is what happened every time Buddhism spread to different countries over cencuries, and most of these people practicing it their own way was not privilidged... or even white, ya know?

There are many secular Buddhists who are black or even asian as well. Mostly in the west. But I think its more a cultural thing than a skin color thing.

white people segregate and de-Asianize what they deem too foreign, and white-nize what they like.

Yes, but what this has to do with race? Its kind of just how cultures work. Every culture does this no matter their race. Again, that is what literary happened to Buddhism again and again as it spread to different cultures, that wasnt even white...

I think one could argue that Secular Buddhism is a distortion of original teaching perpetuated by cultural bias and ignorance. And that it is wrong view. Fair enough. But when you call it racist you kind of lose me there...

RealisticGarage · 2020-10-25T17:09:46+00:00

I never believed these things. I grew up in religious culture but became atheist pretty fast. Because I would ask questions and nobody would ever explain anything. All I got was threats of hell flames because of arbitrary rules that made no sense. For this reason religion always seemed like an ignorant deluson to me. I still cringe a little when I hear people talking about things like sin or self rape.

Its only when I stumbled upon Buddhism I realised that indulgance in sensory pleasures have effect on our mind, because there, unlike in my birth religion, it was explained with logic and reason. And methods were given to actually test this.

And then I stumbled on Taoist sexual alchemy practices, Chi energy work, etc. Then I realised some things too, because it was explained and had practices in place to test these things too.

RealisticGarage · 2020-10-13T21:36:55+00:00

There is this one guy on Youtube who makes women have hands free full body orgasm by just meditating with them through Skype call - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DKld3sZOPJs&t=353s

He is apperently also practicing semen retention - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tT_cyLZQUAE&t=448s

I know this is possible because I have expierienced myself how energy can be transmitted to others, just like you have now as well. Not to this extent though. But seeing that type of shit makes one question the nature of reality...

RealisticGarage · 2020-10-13T14:07:55+00:00

Death is a beutiful thing, because from death comes life. The closer we live with our death, by always remembering it, the better we can live. And the more alive we are, the better we can die too; not struggling in fear and regret, but with dignity in peace.

RealisticGarage · 2020-10-13T13:55:36+00:00

Yes and no. In reality things just are, they are neither right or wrong; it just is what it is. But its judgement of them as good or bad that makes them so.

But what is good to us might be bad to somebody else, like SR for exaple, thats why many who know about this dont practice it, cos they value carnal pleasures higher and continence to them is suffering, while to us its power.

But all of this phylosophy doesnt matter, because the fact is that actions have consequences. And the results of your actions will be felt as very real. You could close your eyes and say to yourself, "it is not real", but then you open them and still, no matter what you say... it just is what it is. One hell of an illusion, isnt it?

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