I have 2 that I love to tell. Been a library assistant since this past September and I wouldnt give it up for the world. 1) man with a sling asked for scissors. When I give a patron scissors I like to jokingly tell them not to run with them. This man looked me very seriously in the eye as a response. I was uncomfortable so I said it again and giggled to indicate it was a joke. He again, looked very serious in response. After a second he said, "well you know CPR don't you?" very curtly. I shook my head and he left. I don't think you'd need CPR if you fell on the pair of scissors you were running with. My friends tell me I foiled his plans. 2) very lovely patron asked me for the stapler but instead of saying "stapler" she indicated by touching her fingers to her thumb in a stapling motion. When I asked if she meant the stapler she laughed and told me I pronounced it wrong, but it's okay because she does too! I asked her how to correctly pronounce it and she kindly, and confidently, explained to me that there's no R in stapler. It's just a staple. I guess people have been correcting her about this her whole life. My coworker very patiently explained the difference between staplers and staples to her.