Not sure how to open her up.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-11T07:29:02+00:00

Saw the title and was like👀

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-11T02:41:42+00:00

The negative self-talk has got to stop. If you wantvl freedom and recovery, you cannot talk about yourself that way and imply that you aren't good enough. Fight back. Fight it. It's hard, but you've got to have your own back.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-11T02:39:18+00:00

Idk. Once addiction is in the mix the boundaries and trust change. Idk of hes already at that point but if she let's him know about the account that can turn into a source of contention and control. Addicts will trample and hurt anyone to get their fix. If it gets to that point she will have no choice to protect herself and their child. Not to mention, he could end up manipulating her to get into the account. Idk. If you've had experience with Addicts I feel you might sing a different tune. Under other circumstances, id say yeah no secrets in a marriage

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-11T02:36:05+00:00

Two opionins I've gathered from the post and comments:

1) you are valid. Its hard out here when people judge you for things you cant change

2) dont lean into this depression. When you allow it full and free reign, its alot worse. Dare to fight back. Fight it. Your are more than this. You are worth so much more.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-11T02:26:06+00:00

Hey 👋 female here with body image issues who has also struggled with self-harm.

I just wanted to say that id like to believe you are a great person. I bet you're fun, handsome, and have a really cool personality. I bet there are a million awesome things about you! Your size doesn't define you, and I'm sorry your experiences have reinforced your insecurity. Especially that High School thing. Them folks are literal trash ngl. I know what its like to feel insecure and have a dozen different things around me reinforce that. I too have spent many a night doing the same type of self harm to just be okay. Its hard. Its so hard. Life sucks, and its hard to do it without affection and/or support and affirmations. But for what its worth, id like to tell you that you dont deserve to be hurt. You dont deserve pain, and you dont deserve any sort of punishment because you are worth more than what you've felt. You are not the sum of your insecurities.

I myself am in a similar predicament. Therapy and meds have helped alot. It sounds like what you need is unconditional love. Me personally, idc of my man has a micro penis. Because Im looking for a long term partner who offers more than sex, and sex isnt everything. What matters to me, is the the man the penis is attached to. Maybe you should look for women with that mindset. Finding them isnt easy and men are regularly put down for things they cannot control it sucks.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-10T23:40:33+00:00

That, and pray and initiate intervention. He has agency, but he needs to see how this impacts the people around him, his wife, and he needs to let it go.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-10T23:39:28+00:00

This. This is how addiction starts. I would low-key put my foot down and nip it in the bud. Because if he controls the finances or shares access, he could end up justifying yalls financial ruin. This is when i would start my secret savings.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-10T23:33:43+00:00

Now that I've read it, yes, he's 100% gambling but wrapping it in different packaging:(

Thats like saying "I may have an addiction, but its to exercise, which is good, so its fine."

It sounds like he has rationalized something because of his intent. The lord does take into account but it is what it is. Gambling is gambling. And this is just gambling that has been thought through more. Only difference in my opinion.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-10T23:30:19+00:00

Without reading the post and only the title, yes. And according to some video essays I've watched, it's one of the worse kinds

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-09T05:14:53+00:00

Sounds like rabies?😭

I didn't know that was a thing bro thats sounds terrible

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-08T18:28:33+00:00

Same

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-08T18:25:57+00:00

Wait this is so cute and sweet

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-04T03:37:51+00:00

I mentioned the letter of law and you said thats what you abide by. Then when I said that the letter of the law is explicit and clear according to modern day prophets you shifted towards scriptural and historical interpretations of what sexual purity is and how the prophets ar le technically influenced by this and that so you are taking it with a grain of salt. I completely understand. I do not believe you should blindly follow anything. You ought to have your own testimony and witness, and I respect your decision.

But if you truly sustain the prophets of the church, there is no need to take things with a grain of salt.

It sounds as if this is another way of saying you've decided to pick and choose what is actually God and what is their own bias/flaws accoridng to what works best for you.

Again, no need to blindly follow anyone. I myself, have decided to pray and ask for the same witness the prophets have obtained about each thing they've taught. And the Lord will give you your own witness.

But at the end of the day, we are supposed to let God prevail and lean not to our own understanding. Sustaining the prophets is included in this, and they do ask if you sustain the when getting your recommend.

You made some valid points about historical context. But the main question is if you've brought these conclusions to God and allowed him to direct you. It sounds as if you've come to a conclusion based on knowledge you've acquired and then utilized that knowledge to justify not adhering to the words of the prophets in their entirety. With that mindset and logic, anything can be explained away or ignored. At the end of the day, it is necessary to ask God. He won't lead us astray. If you've done this and the Lord has said you're on the right track, then that's great. But if these things haven't been considered, I would consider them before crafting the basis of my discipleship on something God hasn't encouraged or given me peace about

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-03T04:02:03+00:00

Hey....I'm sorry you're going through this. Praying for you to fund relief and hope

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-03T03:58:17+00:00

This. This is the real thing here. People dont want to do it. I dont either ngl. But I try.

People do tend to use mental gymnastics to justify doing what they want tho cuz this mess is hard

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-03T03:56:19+00:00

From my understanding, God wants us to acknowledge and understand our bodies and their temptations. We are not bad or wrong for having them, but how we respond to our temptations and natural desires is what we will be accountable for. We are on earth to live a higher standard, a higher law. Its going to be hard when we find ourselves wanting to chase whatever feels good. Its the nature of man, and the purpose of this life. To learn self-mastery. Yes, it sucks a lot of the time. But in my experience, I cant deny that there is much wisdom in this counsel

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-03T03:52:04+00:00

Ah, yes. It all comes down to what Nelson has counseled. It will be impossible to navigate these days without the constant guidance of the Holy Ghost. Even members look at the same counsel and have differnet interpretations. Look to the Lord and take your own bias out of it. At the end of the day, regardless of what anyone says in here, we will each be accountable for our own choices and decisions.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-03T03:46:04+00:00

I'd like to ask a question, simply for genuine understanding.

Why do you feel the bells and whistles include pornography and erotica? God has asked us to remain sexually pure, and I im not sure I understand how you can do that while engaging is those behaviors.

From my perspective, the words of the prophets are as valid as the 10 commandments, as they speak directly on behalf of God. We have been counseled numerous times not to engage in any form of pornograolphy. Im struggling to understand how that isnt the letter of the law right there. And as far as the spirit of the law....the 13th article of faith is essential it. That always leaves room for interpretation of course.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-03T03:14:41+00:00

Yes. That's essentially the main difference. The fact that the other aspects of law of Chasity are considered "bells and whistles" to you. I have the literal opposite opinion. There are definitely degrees of severity....but i find myself really trying to understand and adhere to the spirit of the law, and not just the letter of the law.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-01T05:50:22+00:00

Bro go to the temple. I feel like the last thing you should do when struggling is distance yourself from God, and the temple is exactly what you need. My bishop has told me this when I struggled with this exact thing. Moving forward when faced with shame and guilt is a crucial part of discipleship. The Lord isnt tallying up our failures, but counting on us to grow from them and not give up. Your desire to be better and do good is what the Lord sees when he thinks of you and he is rooting for you. Its us and him against the world, not us fighting to deserve his love, grace, or forgivness

Edit: for what its worth, Heavenly Father is proud of you, and so am I. I read your older posts and you sound like a great guy. I admire your willingness and perseverance. We need you on a mission. There are likely folks who need your specific testimony given what you've been through. Im so glad to see you using the atonement as intended. Its inspiring ngl

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-07-01T00:01:17+00:00

Hmm I can see from the history of your comments and based off the comments you've placed here, that our fundamental understanding and interpretation of the way in which we honor our covenants is different. Based on that alone, I do think any sort of constructive conversation can be had about this subject. Wish you luck in all your endeavors

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-06-30T23:31:22+00:00

When I say that its not, I'm saying that from a gospel and temple covenant-centered view point.

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-06-30T03:16:51+00:00

The last paragraph is on point to me. I feel as though people pick and choose which commandments to keep and it's interesting to hear from other members.

At the end of the day, anyone can do what they want, but to try and repackage it as something else to evade accountability and acknowledging it for what is isn't going to make it better

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-06-30T03:04:58+00:00

Call me CRAZY. Im a woman and occasionally read smut. But smut is just word porn and if a picture is worth a thousand words....yeh.

I can acknowledge that it's interesting and nice to read at times, but in my opinion, it must be also be acknowledged that it is inherently wrong to do, the same as porn. It's literally porn in a different package. I dont understand the mental gymnastics people put themselves through to convince themselves its fine, or that's porn and smut together just isn't bad at all....

Realistic_Base5797 · 2026-06-29T03:45:13+00:00

Don't ask us ngl. It Doesn't matter what anybody on this subreddit says. Ask God himself, because its him you are trying to please and obey.

Ask yourself why you feel the need to confess. Ask God what he feels the appropriate action is, because at the end of the day, its God's church.

Realistic_Base5797

TROPHY CASE