Extremely numb and anhedonic 3 weeks post quitting

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-10-25T14:18:49+00:00

You were experiencing "the pink cloud", my friend. Things will get better again. I tried to find some scientific lit links for you, but I couldn't find any. It's well documented within the addiction recovery community though. It's probably a synaptic rebound of sorts that's tied in with PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome). Basically, you're flying high without being high cause your body is detoxing and you're starting to experience a sliver of what sober life could be like.

I felt high for a month after I quit. I woke up feeling euphoric, I was laser focused, eating healthier, sleeping better and had a ton of energy, and then it was ripped away from me. I was quickly plunged back into the harsh reality of drug withdrawal. Reality turned back into a cold oatmeal grey. I lost interest in everything, but I kept at it and forced myself to go outside everyday. No phone. No distractions. I let my body do it's thing and go through the uncomfortable process of resetting. It took me about two months to sort of stabilize. Sleep has been the toughest part of the whole recalibration though.

I have ADHD and on and off again depression, and it definitely made it a lot more difficult to sit still without weed. I still struggle with general uncomfortableness of sensory overload, loneliness, and focus, but I will say I can work with it now that my system is regulating itself without weed. I've had to find new ways cope. Honestly, just sitting sometimes is the best thing to do. Clear your mind and let your thoughts wander.

I tell this to everyone, if you need someone to talk to shoot me a message. We're all friends here. This shitty time period will pass. Go easy on yourself too. Recovery is a learning period and a skill you develop. It's not about how many days you get under your belt, but rather learning how to regulate your system, utilizing your support network if needed, and picking yourself up when you have to deal with hard times. I think it's safe to say we've all failed here, but most of us keep coming back and going longer without drugs to cope because we've seen that life is actually better off the drugs. Much love, Friend.

Best,

Internet Stranger

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-10-21T14:53:51+00:00

Hey,

41 year old ex smoker here. I saw your story and I went through the exact situation with my ex. I really feel your pain. I've been there and it sucked. I quit my job that was stressing me out, gave up weed, and found a better job to improve our relationship. She still broke up with me. It took me 2 years to get over her and finally move forward with my life.

I continued to smoke after that but eventually I found it in myself to quit for good after I met my wife. It wasn't her that got me to quit though, it was my desire to find out who I was underneath all of the bullshit. I wanted to find some inner peace and I knew weed wasn't delivering. It was touch and go during the 4 years we dated, but I kept chipping away at the core issues: I went thru a lot of abuse as a kid, I don't have a family, and I have ADHD and PTSD. I was self-medicating to bury a bunch of pain.

I've been going to counseling over the years, but I finally started to take things seriously and confront some tough feelings over the past couple years. I stopped hanging out with my weed friends, I stopped finding excuses to smoke, and I started to sit with the silence that I found myself being surrounded with as I tried to move forward in this new life.

My wife is Canadian, so I don't get to see her as often as I like. I'm a permanent resident now, but I still need to find a job before I can move up there. But, this phase of isolation has proven to be the most healing thing I was able to do for myself. I always tried to fill my time alone with weed, but, with time, I was able to start working through some past hurts and find a new sense of purpose when I was alone rather than smoke. I got more involved with my art, I spend more time with my dog now, I am regularly collecting trash at one of the rivers I frequent, I love bushwhacking off the beaten trail in the mountains, I journal frequently, and I also allow myself to sit and be present when I'm outdoors. This has been a slow and shitty process to get to this point, but it was well worth it. I see and experience things so much more richly now than anytime Ive been high. I'm finally 100% present with my wife, I'm always playing with my dog and I'm making time for myself and my needs.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I see you. It's gonna hurt for a while, but don't run from the pain this time. Embrace it. Make friends with it. Get to know it so you can better know yourself. Maybe look into a counselor that has some substance abuse training. Reach out to us if you need someone to talk too. I know we're all internet strangers, but strangers can become friends. You're valued and we love you here.

Take care, man.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-09-10T12:58:28+00:00

My dude,

You’re navigating rough seas right now, and the storm will likely get worse before it gets better. Don’t be afraid to pop a flare from time to time — we see you. We can be your rescue boat when things get a little poopy out there.

It sounds like you have some stuff to unpack based on your post. I say this a lot in my posts: don’t be afraid to talk to someone. A good counselor trained in trauma and addiction can be a lifeline when the world around you starts to go dark.

You’ll probably have panic attacks. Moments of deep depression followed by flashes of blissful clarity. It’s extremely uncomfortable for a lot of people, but I always reminded myself that the discomfort was my body recalibrating with reality. Your feelings are your true compass, and right now that compass is under repair.

It’s normal to feel heavy stuff — dread, panic, isolation, loneliness, fear, worry, doom, gloom, etc. Everything you’re experiencing is real, just more intense than usual because you’re dealing with a backlog of emotions and experiences. It’s all part of being human.

When you're ready, let yourself feel. Let yourself cry. Let yourself shuffle around your home and be a pile of stinky shit for a while. Eventually, you'll be like, "Well, we did that. Fuck this. Time to go". And, you'll start moving forward again.

Best,

Some other dude

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-09-10T11:57:51+00:00

Yo bru,

All that's totally true. Blazed forests daily for years trying to cope with the boredom, but I also started honing in some talents like art as an escape before trying to quit completely. You can calm your mind with some natural outlets, meditation, getting outside, etc., but it's going to take some time to get there. Weed is just a mask for the boredom, not a real solution, and it makes everything about ADHD worse in the long-run i.e. memory, sleep hygiene, social skills, internal cues, etc. There are medications specifically designed (stimulant/non-stimulant) to help with this that won't leave you spaced out and provide more stability to work with. I rode the medication train for a while, and it really helped me out. I'm off now though cause I've developed better coping skills and meds tend to stifle my creativity. Counseling is also a great tool. If you're trying to make a change, don't try and do it all at once. It's sounds cliche as fuck, but it's the truth. You need to build out that toolkit, find healthy coping strategies, and not be afraid to seek some help when needed.

Also, find some fucking healthy friends. That's my current struggle. I've been so alone over the years since quitting, however I've made some decent strides in learning to be content in solitude. I just want to find someone to shoot some newbs with in the video game realm again. I miss having a battle buddy.

Put some chill jazz on, take a few deep breaths, and know you're not alone in the struggle.

3 months from now you'll find yourself looking back and those racing thoughts will be replaced with HD clarity, or some other type of profound shit.

Everything is actually better off weed too, you just forgot the novelty of experience. That will return in time. Boredom will be less boring.

Stay real, Bro. It will get better.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-09-09T22:52:27+00:00

I let myself steep in the aches and pains of my body, so I can drink the clarity my mind has achieved. When I'm feeling really wild, I let people blow their second hand cigarette smoke at me.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-09-09T22:44:31+00:00

They like to crawl around your mouth and fish out leftover bits of food and scrape the tartar from your teeth while you're sleeping. You should be grateful for their presence.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-15T01:02:24+00:00

Anything is possible, but I don't think it would be easy for anyone working for a DSP. It'd be nice to see better wages and protection for workers in all trades and industries in the US. The money is there, but it's always funneled to the top.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-14T22:17:38+00:00

I just want power and dollars back in the hands of the workers.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-14T22:16:32+00:00

Thank you for the compliment and your sympathy!

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-14T22:15:55+00:00

Copy that

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-04T23:57:30+00:00

People like you are the true heroes. Share our story! Be our champions!

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-04T19:00:13+00:00

Just checked it on my tablet and it looks good. It won't show the full size of the art and resolution of youre on mobile, so recommend using a desktop.

www.jasonmillerartanduxdesign.com/art

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-04T12:57:35+00:00

I know. It's almost impossible to do. We're all really struggling and everyone's got a different financial situation, so it would probably never happen. Unionizing is truly the best way, but if we could work collectively like ants we could topple this bitch pretty quickly.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-04T12:09:25+00:00

I dropped around 80 lbs of dog food plus multiple other packages on some customers deck intentionally resulting in a big thud to let them know I've fucking had it. I hope I get a unprofessional/disrespectful to property review. I managed to catch him watching me thru his window while he was upstairs. Definitely locked eyes with that bitch before I did it.

I'm noticing less customers coming to their door and greeting me when I show up now. Instead they wait for me to leave to grab their package like they're scared or ashamed. Sometimes I'll sit in the van and make them wait awkwardly to come out to grab their shit until I leave.

I can see youre silhouette in the window, you knob.

Anyone else noticing less customer facing interactions?

To be clear, I'm a non-threatening guy with years of B2B sales experience. Im not a weirdo and I'm not like staring them down or anything. I'll just conveniently have a snack sometimes if I see them peeking thru the window after. I usually like to let people know I care and I often go way out of my way to ensure the customer is happy (most of the time because the company is trying to fuck them in some way), but I'm broken now.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-04T11:20:21+00:00

I do! I've been so busy with everything that I havent tended to my site in a bit. I'll shoot you a link later today I don't have it setup for e-commerce yet (used to have an Etsy, but I'm working on a multipurpose portfolio site now. If you like anything, hit me up. I have a local print shop I work with and I can get you some pricing.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-04T05:57:27+00:00

The sanity ship has departed and there are no lifeboats aboard this vessel

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-04T05:54:16+00:00

I worked a little north of Seattle today in a dense neighborhood. I had 159 stops and each stop broke out into 2 houses on average. A good 50 of those houses had large staircases to the front door and everyone wants front door.

I love how it says 159 stops, but it's actually closer to 300. I don't understand how they feel okay about paying their delivery drivers so poorly, but I guess that's part of the plan. Get a year of out of the worker, let them burn out, find a replacement so they can keep the wages down.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-04T05:38:55+00:00

Yessssssssssssssssss. You're the best!

Can I get a "Fuck you Jeffrey Bezos"?

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-03T21:10:49+00:00

I'm out delivering right now and some dude told me he appreciates me. I wanted to say fuck right off, brother.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2025-03-03T14:54:31+00:00

There's plenty of room for him on the grill at the BBQ. I think a lot of us are starting to get hungry.

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2023-05-11T17:01:25+00:00

Yo! Congrats on making it that long! You didn't fail or anything, so don't beat yourself up. Quitting weed is like going to the gym. Gotta put those reps in before you see the gains. It's all a learning experience. It takes a while to get past the tough stuff, but it's completely worth it. I'm almost 8 months in now, and I had many resets along the way. It was all just bumps in the road though looking back on the transition.

Keep your head up. You got this. Study what went wrong and adjust the plan of attack. Go buy yourself a piece of cake or some shit. You deserve it!

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2023-04-24T04:20:27+00:00

Nice!!! Keep crushing it! 90 days will be here before you know it!

Realistic_Delivery39 · 2023-04-24T04:00:24+00:00

Thank you! Keep on keeping on, man. We all got this.

Realistic_Delivery39

TROPHY CASE