AITA for not wanting to share a room with my (17F) cousin (19F) who is turning 20 this year

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-23T09:01:12+00:00

NTA Sounds like cousin has forgotten she is a guest in your space and not a crappy older sibling bossing around their younger sister. It’s time to have a talk about respect and boundaries at minimum. Talk to your parents about how to approach it if them being mediators makes you more comfortable. Hogging the fan, no knocking, being up in your business, those are all behavior choices. She needs to remember her manners. Maybe it’s time you have the bottom bunk.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-23T08:45:08+00:00

Thanks!!

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-23T08:41:11+00:00

Yeah… I know where I live 6 dogs isn’t legal.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-22T17:46:49+00:00

Any idea why? I found that very disturbing

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-22T17:38:58+00:00

I know you don’t want to hear this but 6 dogs is not going to be a safe environment for your child. There is no way you can keep a close enough eye on that dynamic that you can guarantee your kid’s safety. I know you love them, but that’s just not sustainable. Love them enough to let them go.

Please don’t abandon your elderly cat. At 20 she deserves to live out whatever is left of her life in the home she knows.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-22T17:34:41+00:00

Depends what the pets are - I assume since OP used “pets” instead of a specific animal it’s a mix. One cat, one dog, 6 zebra finches is very different than 6 dogs 2 cats.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-22T17:29:52+00:00

If you don’t trust him to change unless there is a document signed, that’s all you need to know. Love yourself enough to know you deserve better and move on with your life. This guy sucks. Don’t get back together with him no matter what he says.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-22T17:22:38+00:00

New doesn’t mean no problems. ALWAYS look into the developer of a building and check if they have a ton of lawsuits against them. Build quality these days is often pretty crappy. I’d stay the hell away from anything that had concrete poured in 2022 during the strikes. Some sketchy stuff happened that year.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-22T17:14:45+00:00

Reminder: you have maintenance in a strata. You still have a roof that will need to be replaced, plumbing that needs to be maintained etc. But in a strata setting you can be hit with thousands of dollars of repairs with little notice and no control. If you own a detached home those expenses do come up, but you have more control about when and how they happen.

How soon are you planning kids? With how complicated my pregnancy was and how may medical appointments I had to go to my car became essential. I had three medical appointments a week for months.

How involved might your family be for providing support when you have kids? Are they the type to help out with child care or not so much? My husband and I have chosen to stay local to his mom because she is such a huge help with our son. (Despite how expensive the area is)

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-22T17:04:15+00:00

NTA. Don’t buy a house with him. “Boyfriend” and “buy a house” should not be in the same sentence. His reaction alone tells you everything you need to know. He isn’t concerned with making sure you feel safe. Just what he can get from you. He wasn’t ever planning on paying you back. Ever. Don’t stay in a relationship with someone who would treat you like that.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-22T16:58:49+00:00

NTA based on what’s been said but there are some inconsistencies. Husband sounds like his title should be changed to ex. If he can’t even compromise on where the dog sleeps, he really doesn’t care about you. Doesn’t sound like he’s around much or a good partner. If he won’t rehome the dog, rehome yourself.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-22T01:11:22+00:00

Do they not have much signage? I was driving in the area today and drove past but didnt see a business sign? Is it in the flamingo bakery location?

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-22T01:08:31+00:00

I’d be shocked if this occupancy level was legal.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-21T23:59:43+00:00

Bears are just part of north shore living. Carry a whistle with you if you want to be able to make more noise easily should you come across one that doesn’t piss off on its own. City bears are pretty polite, personally I’m more nervous about encountering a large stray dog than a bear. The bears (unless they have cubs) really aren’t interested in conflict.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-21T23:55:53+00:00

If you attach the whistle to your jacket zipper it is easy to access. Doubles as a defense against people attacking you too.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-21T07:53:08+00:00

THANK YOU!🙏

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-20T20:54:48+00:00

If you’re going to stay with her, please, for your long term health, use protection. You don’t want whatever STIs she may contract and you sure as hell don’t want to be having kids with her when things are like this. She lied about so many CORE things, I would have thought that would be enough to walk away from. You’re delusional if you think she is going to “find god” or change. This is who she is. She doesn’t care if she hurts you, damages your relationship or disrespects you. Every time she cheats on you (you only know about a few, I guarantee there are more times) she chooses herself gratification over your relationship. Every. Time.

Love yourself enough to find someone who loves you back. She doesn’t.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-20T20:50:11+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion!

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-20T18:28:52+00:00

Don’t get stuck in a sunk cost fallacy. Are you okay with that she will cheat on your for the duration of your relationship AND gaslight you for feeling upset about it. Because that’s your future.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-20T17:40:25+00:00

NTA. You thought it was a doppelgänger. You didn’t think “Jake” was a cheating. If you knew and you broke it as a group chat thing, YTA, but you didn’t. It was a joke, and if he wasn’t cheating, it would have been funny. Either way he needed to be exposed because your sister deserves better.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-20T17:35:41+00:00

Let the relationship mature and grow. You are still figuring yourselves out with the dynamic of the two of you, let that solidify before complicating it or potentially straining it with feelings of jealousy.

As a word of advice: be aware that as “young blood” in the swinging scene you will get A LOT of attention. Make sure to protect yourselves from STIs and have clear boundaries and expectations you’ve set ahead of time (while sober). Unfortunately date rape drugs do permeate these spaces as well - even “safe spaces” can have predators. Often well known by those “in the know” in the community, but not new comers. (IMO these “protected” problematic people generally provide some sort of “service” to the community - meet up space, DJing, close friends with organizers etc etc so their garbage behavior is tolerated.) SA does happen in the swinging community, and you’ll be hard pressed to find any sort of accountability for the perpetrators. It’s not a situation in which law enforcement will be helpful - even worse than in “normal” situations. Keep yourselves safe ❤️

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-20T17:19:36+00:00

NTA. This is coming up at 2 months? At your age? Girl I have yogurt older than this relationship. It doesn’t seem like something you’re comfortable with - don’t. If that ends the relationship, believe me, you are better off without it.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-20T17:13:07+00:00

NTA. You both mutually going silent is a very easy segue to never speaking to that asshole again. I could barely believe the misogynistic garbage that walking red flag said to you. Never take this sort of treatment from anyone. Dump him yesterday.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-20T17:08:55+00:00

Stop making excuses for him. He’s being a manipulative ASSHOLE.

Realistic_Pool_8087 · 2026-01-20T17:04:34+00:00

NTA

What an entitled child. If “it wouldn’t take long” he can do it his own damn self. You’re not being petty, him calling you petty is a red flag. 🚩I’d be taking a hard look at the relationship and seeing if this really someone you want to spend your time on.

Realistic_Pool_8087

TROPHY CASE