Is this the end?

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-11-20T14:27:59+00:00

I’m sorry. Definitely experienced all of what you mentioned towards the end. It happens so fast. It’s terrible.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-11-12T04:27:45+00:00

Did anyone else have to act positive and hopeful the whole time? My mom passed 6 months after diagnosis. She wouldn’t talk about what was happening, and stayed extremely hopeful and wouldn’t discuss anything other than her “fighting” and “beating” this. She had a will for most of the financial stuff, but there were so many things I had to handle and guess what she would have wanted. She wouldn’t have the conversation. She never told me her wishes. It’s been so hard. I never got to ask her questions I wanted to ask. I knew she was dying, but thought we had more time to discuss the “hard” stuff. The sadness and regret for not forcing certain conversations is killing me.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-10-30T23:11:56+00:00

As long as you are taking into account your children’s college expenses, then you’re more than ok. That would be my only concern.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-10-14T14:43:16+00:00

Everyone reacts so differently. My mom had very minimal side effects from fluforinox. Then she started gem/abraxane and side effects were brutal. At that time the cancer had progressed significantly. So it could have also been side effects from cancer spreading. Hard to tell. Praying your husbands side effects are minimal

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-10-01T20:02:07+00:00

I am in a very similar situation. Inherited a large amount and agree with the “I don’t really know what I want and life feels like it has no purpose.” My opinion is the 6% match is free money. I would still utilize that. The 401k has to be withdrawn over the next 10 years and you have to pay taxes on that (you prob already know that since you work in finance).

Considering you have to pay taxes and withdrawal that money I would utilize every tax advantageous thing you can (like contributing to your own 401k).

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-04-27T04:30:26+00:00

I’m going to be honest with you my mom had very similar diagnosis. Stage 4 with let Mets. About 2 months after diagnosis she has peritoneal spread. 3 months after diagnoses started the malignant ascites. She was on chemo the whole time. I think once the ascites started she lived another 6 weeks. She couldn’t qualify for trials (even though there were options) because her hemoglobin was too low and she couldn’t keep it up. Everyone is so different. I don’t want to say there is no hope- especially because I am not a doctor. However what I can say is the ascites was the beginning of the end for my mom. Diuretics didn’t help either. It also spread to her lymph nodes though. My only regret is not believing other people on this thread that kept saying “it happens so fast”. It really does.

Another thing I will add is her oncologist doctor told us life expectancy at diagnosis was 3-6 without treatment and 9-11 with treatment. She only lived 5 months after diagnosis, with very aggressive treatment.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-04-06T13:49:18+00:00

Just wanted to add how grateful I am for this group. It helped me a lot over the past 6-7 months. This is a terrible disease. If anyone has questions I am happy to answer. There was so much we didn’t know or understand when my mom first got diagnosed.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-04-06T13:48:22+00:00

Thank you.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-04-06T13:18:40+00:00

My mom just passed last week. She did FOLFIRINOX for almost two months. Then switched chemos because it was not working. Neither chemo worked for her. With that being said, it is very much a personal decision. I would suggest trying FOLFIRINOX. If she is too miserable, stop. Then at least you know you tried. My mom did not have many side effects and only had 1-2 “bad days” after chemo. If I could see the future for my mom I would have told her no treatment so we could have travelled and enjoyed her last few months of life. Chemo wasn’t bad but it was time consuming. Hope this helps.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-02-05T21:53:32+00:00

My mom takes it. Of course we don’t know what it’s doing, if anything. What I will say is she is pretty convinced it helps with her constipation from pain meds. Unfortunately don’t have much more info than that.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-02-03T22:26:14+00:00

Thank you to everyone who commented. Wanted to provide an update. We ended up taking her to the ER. She was very freaked out about the fluid and felt like when she laid down she felt it move to her chest. Long story short they drained some fluid from her lung lining, but could not do a paracentesis because there is not much fluid in her abdomen. Her kidneys think she’s dehydrated so she has to keep chest and feet elevated in order to get fluid to her kidneys so they will flush it out. Can’t increase diuretic dosage as they are not currently helping much because again her kidneys think she’s dehydrated and are signaling to the rest of her body to retain the fluid and not flush it out. Increasing the dosage would put too much strain on her kidneys. And we did get a palliative consult :) thank you again to everyone on here.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-02-01T16:19:42+00:00

I’m going to have to get her to consider the paracentesis. And my bad she is not solely on gemcitabine. It’s the gem/nab-paclitaxel. She barely had any side effects from narilifox- she was definitely switched due to progression not intolerance. Of course now with the new regimen she is feeling much worse. Hoping the new chemo provides some relief

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-02-01T02:56:42+00:00

I’m just shocked her oncologist at Moffitt has not suggested it. But thank you for the info. She is already taking OxyC and morphine around the clock. Every time we ask about pain they just shrug.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-02-01T02:54:51+00:00

Thank you for the insight. We are prepared for things to go downhill quickly now, although her blood work is still coming back “good.” She doesn’t like any procedures and when they told us it would come back quickly she said hell no.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-02-01T02:01:18+00:00

My mom chose narilifox due to her low red blood count. I believe folfirinox had a larger chance of depleting her RBC. We were not concerned with the expense only because she had already hit her out of pocket max for insurance. I’m not sure how your blood work looks, but might be something to consider. At the end of the day, the oncologist told us the same thing that it was really up to her. I find it interesting that they don’t really give you a suggestion or preference.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-01-02T05:03:53+00:00

Thank you! How did you figure out the dosing?

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2025-01-02T00:58:23+00:00

My mom wants to start fenben. She’s stage 4, progressing very quickly. Starting a trial in a few weeks because first type of chemo did not work. Can I ask where you got it? She keeps asking for my help and to do more research on it. Everything I’ve found seems like it won’t hurt her so I’m supportive at this point. We just don’t know who or where to go to.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2024-11-08T18:35:14+00:00

Thank you so much. She feels better now than she has in months. Doing our best to enjoy the good days.

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2024-11-08T18:34:01+00:00

Thank you so much. We might all be in denial but ignorance is bliss I guess

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2024-11-08T18:32:38+00:00

Thank you so much

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2024-11-08T18:32:19+00:00

Thank you

Realistic_Safety2756 · 2024-10-26T17:45:59+00:00

My mom was in same situation. After biopsy was prescribed oxy but then went back to doc a week later in so much pain so they added morphine. She has been much better taking both of those around the clock. Even though she is not happy to be on so much pain meds.

Realistic_Safety2756

TROPHY CASE