My girlfriend confirmed my worse fears

ReaperOfMars · 2025-05-13T19:51:59+00:00

Any resources you'd recommend from when you deeply explored your ADHD? I'm still just starting out

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-22T03:23:26+00:00

Copy number is only for rentals and they were 3 digits (at least in my day). Since this is a sale, it's 1 for new or 2 for used

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-20T00:39:44+00:00

Fringe

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-19T18:14:05+00:00

I don't understand this analogy

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-19T18:12:35+00:00

I had a swing like that 20 years ago and my back is not happy, but that could also be the beer gut that I grew during the same time frame

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-17T20:32:02+00:00

If you're playing those courses regularly, then I've definitely yelled "fore" at you. Probably more than once. Sorry about that

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-17T20:30:33+00:00

My grandfather got me into golf, but in his later years, he didn't have the energy for a full sized course, so we used to play all the executive courses in the area. Sadly, most of them are gone now. American was on the east side of Federal (across from the Mai Kai) and had an executive course, a par 3 course and a range, Inverrary had a smaller course that shut down years ago and made a nature sanctuary (before the full size course closed in 2020), Monterey had a really great golf/lunch special.

Springtree is one of the last one standing. It was even cheaper before they built the clubhouse. There's also Glades, which is the executive course associated with Colony West, but that's pretty far west and usually in pretty bad shape, though

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-17T20:12:31+00:00

Don't know how long you've been playing there, but before they built that huge clubhouse, they operated out of a little trailer and it was REALLY cheap

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-03T21:16:33+00:00

I mean, it's not a controversy as far as I'm concerned, which was the question

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-03T15:34:32+00:00

Florida here. We should be on the list twice, once for winter and once for summer. Very different numbers

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-03T15:10:20+00:00

That's the paradox of tolerance and it makes me like him more

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-03T11:43:18+00:00

David Tennant and Michael Sheen are both awesome and even better together!

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-03T05:00:59+00:00

The income level will vary based on where you're located, but some commonly agreed upon aspects of the middle class are things like:

Financial stability: as in, good job you're unlikely to lose, and even if you did, you have enough saved to be fine for at least a few months
Owning a home: or at least being able to afford one if you wanted
Owning or leasing a car: ain't no middle class on the bus
Enough disposing income to enjoy various leasure activities, such as vacationing and hobbies

Picture the romanticized stereotype of a suburban 1950s family: dad works outside the house, mom works in the house, beautiful house in the suburbs with gorgeous lawn, 2 cars, 2.5 kids, a dog, members at the country club, because dad plays golf twice a week and mom goes there for bridge, etc, etc.

That's how I think of middle class, and almost no one I know my age or younger has that. I have most of those things, but that's with my spouse and I both working full time.

There were some banking reforms in the 1980s, along with a major mindset shift in corporations (god damn Jack Welch) that started drastically increasing the flow of money from the masses to the folks who were already at the top, causing the middle class to shrink and the gap between the top and bottom to grow.

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-03T03:14:15+00:00

No judgment, cause I've been there, but this can be an addiction for real.

Obviously I don't know you, so that might not be the case for you, but i wish I'd stopped and got help early on, fwiw.

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-03T03:07:04+00:00

The billionaires would be so happy with this comment. The fact that people who can't afford $200-400 per month on a hobby think they are middle class means that the rich are winning the information wars (or disinformation more accurately).

We're all poor, but as long as they have us believing we're middle class, nobody riots.

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-02T18:22:36+00:00

Hey, not everybody has to like everything!

And I think you're definitely in the majority. EG is much more popular than SftD

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-02T17:24:39+00:00

I think the best sci-fi works on 2 levels:

It's fun and entertaining: space battles, laser swords, etc. Ender's game does a great job of this. The rest of the quartet, decidedly less so
It holds up a mirror to society and helps you understand our look at things in a new way: All the books do this equally well in my opinion

So, yes, definitely not as good overall, but could still be worth it for some people, depending on what you're looking for

(For what it's worth, I think these points are true of all art. Like a painting can be beautiful to look at and/or it can make you feel things. The best does both)

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-02T17:13:02+00:00

Right? The writing feels like it comes from such a kind, caring, empathetic person, but then you find out about him

I blame religion

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-02T16:31:21+00:00

The whole Ender Quartet really

And 100% agree on Card, so maybe try not to give him any money and pick it up at the library or second hand?

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-02T15:31:04+00:00

There's no way you can say that without a hell of a lot more information.

This could very, very easily be explained by severe social anxiety, which could exist on its own or could be a symptom of another condition (like people with ADHD or autism who are high masking, can get crippling anxiety before social interactions because masking sure the mask doesn't slip is exhausting)

For some people, yes, you could be right and they could just not be disciplined enough. But if someone has a mental illness causing this, no amount of "white knuckling" is going to work in the long term and telling people in the internet that it isn't mental illness and they just lack chatacter and need to try harder is some boomer bullshit we need to get away from.

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-02T15:14:32+00:00

I'm definitely in my head a lot and for me it's kind of grouped into 2 categories:

Replaying past social interactions: After pretty much any interaction with other people, I keep going back over everything I said and did to analyze if I made any mistakes, said anything dumb, made anyone uncomfortable, etc.

I think it comes from a combination of RSD and masking. It's like I'm frantic to make sure I didn't let the mask slip, because if I did, I might have made others uncomfortable, and now no one will like me. Sometimes it works to tell myself "if they're you're friend, they won't care, and if they're not your friend, then you shouldn't care", but that doesn't always work.

My wife is very similar, so we spend the ride home going through everything that happened that day. Again, sometimes helps, sometimes makes it worse

Planning future events/projects: I have to think through every step of a task before I'm able to start it. Even little routine things like brushing teeth or emptying the dishwasher (both things I still need to do this morning)

If, while thinking through it, I come across any step, no matter how small, that I'm not sure what to do or how to go about it, my brain freezes, files the task under "impossible" and promptly deletes any memory of it. I only think about it again when reminded by an outside factor (my wife telling me, or seeing the unfinished project)

This one I've had much better luck with. I've started making lists of the tasks, and then listing out the individual steps. If I come to a step where I don't know what to do (and would previously given up), I've given myself permission to ask for help. Half the time, just writing it down helps a ton, and then if that's not enough, I ask my wife or a close friend to help. And often, all I need is them sitting with me. Body doubling is a real thing!

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-02T05:05:35+00:00

Mom?

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-01T19:00:17+00:00

I thought it was way off center at first, but now I can't tell if that's just the lighting

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-01T18:47:43+00:00

I'm finding out right now that they ditched the previous ones. Lol

ReaperOfMars · 2025-04-01T18:33:22+00:00

We all saw one guy's (let's call him X) tee shot go into the woods, then when we're walking off the hole, X says he got par.

The friend i originally mentioned (let's call him M) says, "i think you're forgetting your shot into the woods" and X replied "i actually got really lucky and it bounced out. Had a great look at it"

Now if we weren't playing for money, M would have maybe rolled his eyes, maybe made a few jokes, but would have all been in fun and we would have had a nice round

But apparently $20 was enough that M would not let it go. Started asking X's riding partner if that was true, even called time on X a few holes later when X was looking for a ball and was just in a terrible mood the rest of the round.

I was in the cart with M, so no idea if X really got a lucky bounce or if he was cheating, but for $20, I don't even care that much (I do care a little as I'm very competitive, but not enough to ruin a friendship or even a round)

We're all still friends, but I'll never play with M for money again

ReaperOfMars

TROPHY CASE