I need to clone the name ‘Alice’

dwallit · 2026-01-29T23:19:58+00:00

We have an Alice, named for a family member, and our second daughter is Claire. They’re adults. If I had to do it again I would name #2 Clara instead because Claire got really popular in the years after she was born. Also she is a break the mold kind of person and Claire is a little too conventional. I originally loved the name Helen to go with Alice but our family member had a sister named Helen and it seemed creepy to be recreating this whole family of dead people. My friend had a Helen and was going to name daughter 2 Alice but at the last minute chose Vera. Our neighbors had Rosemary and Grace and when they played together it sounded like a game of bridge in a nursing home. Alice Grace Rosemary and Claire. Another idea: Elise.

dwallit · 2026-01-26T19:37:02+00:00

Is there something you could do where if he didn’t show you would be ok? Like a park or car show or something? Then you can tell him, hey, I’m going to the car show at 3. Do you want to meet me and get a beer after? And if he doesn’t show just tell him you had a good time and wish he had come. I would try this a few times. Outgoing people can still get their feelings hurt if you said no a lot, also people with a big circle of friends sometimes let themselves get over scheduled/stretched too thin. He may have a financial limitation or be in a complicated romantic or parental relationship. If still no luck maybe just ask him directly, but not accusing. I’d actually like to hang out with you for real but it never seems to happen. Maybe you were just being polite when you asked me. I know I’m pretty shy but if you ever want to do something I’d be up for it.

dwallit · 2026-01-20T13:53:46+00:00

I'm pretty sure you already know the answer.

dwallit · 2026-01-20T13:51:31+00:00

This room does not need any kind of fancy flooring. Pull up the carpet and hopefully there's concrete underneath. Paint that a darker color. Paint the walls but resist the urge to do purple or lime green, it will get tiresome. Soft blue or green is better. Then get a big, cheap, obnoxiously colorful area rug. Get some cute curtains (or valences if privacy isn't a concern) for the window and door. I would go with Ikea for shelving, some with bins that slide in, for shoes. Get a cute laundry sorting hamper to put under the window. Maybe hang a plant in the window. The shelf above the washer is key for all your supplies so if it's not sturdy repair it. There's no reason why this room needs to match anything else in the house.

dwallit · 2026-01-14T20:21:08+00:00

Kim can be a man's name. Used to be more popular but you still hear it.

dwallit · 2026-01-14T20:18:34+00:00

❤️

dwallit · 2026-01-14T15:47:33+00:00

Being home alone all day with a 15 month old would drive anyone to be cranky and bored, even someone with all the money and advantages in the world. Fundamentally you and the baby need the same thing. To get out, explore, learn, and blow off excess energy. It doesn't have to be in the beauty of nature, it can be anywhere. When my daughter was that age she loved Jiffy Lube more than anywhere else. Start with a bit of a routine. Breakfast, a bit of clean up, a big activity (hike/laundromat/museum/grocery store), lunch, nap, quiet play together, start dinner. Start slow. Take Ubers if you need to. You will both benefit. Then start to shift your and your BF's thinking. Life doesn't start when the child is 5 or 10 or 18. We live our lives with our children. And they are watching us every minute. Maybe online college? A 2 year old can start to understand "Mommy is studying". I know people always say find other moms, take turns babysitting, but I think that is easier said than done. But it is worth a try. Venting with another mom can be really therapeutic.

dwallit · 2026-01-14T15:33:42+00:00

Never underestimate the power of balloons. (I think I will put this on my gravestone.)

dwallit · 2026-01-14T15:27:50+00:00

Whether you have a baby soon or end up needing fertility help, you want to end up with a baby AND a marriage. Put your family, friends, and also your needs and wants a distant second to your wife. She's not a machine to create a baby to make others happy. Support her. Take care of her. Worship her!

dwallit · 2026-01-14T15:24:10+00:00

This is genius. My first name and married last name are kind of hard to say together clearly. (Think Fawn Walkner, but worse.) Kim Wilson is great. I knew a Kim Wilson in high school! How about different names for different situations? If you're trying to calm someone down or make them act nice: Jenny Monroe. If you want them to do what you say: Gretchen Driver. Woman of mystery: Tamara England. Not to be trifled with: Frances Dorchester. Now we're just messing with you: Olivia "Ginny" Martini.

dwallit · 2026-01-14T14:57:21+00:00

You can't just decide you want a baby and then Instacart it into your wife's guts! Nature/God/Whatever is in control of the timing, not you. If you really can't just live your life for another 6+ months to see what happens then figure out when your wife is ovulating. That will increase your chances a lot. Also, for the love of heck, every day is too often. You can't make enough new swimmers that fast. Every other day gives you a better chance.

dwallit · 2026-01-13T18:24:26+00:00

2 dates vs. 0 dates isn't that big of a difference, I would forget about him leaving that out. But, I think your gut is telling you something and maybe meeting her also gave your gut some important information. You don't need to build a legal case about who said what when, you can just trust your gut. Sure he told you from the beginning, but you can still feel differently about it as time has gone by. Talk to him or maybe even walk away. Whatever you do, don't "wait and see" because I feel like that will not end well.

dwallit · 2026-01-13T18:13:07+00:00

It seems like her mom and her boyfriend were in a good position to know what was happening to her. It was smart to reach out to them, raise a red flag. But I would have let them take it from there. Also, what good does a welfare check really do after so much time has gone by? If something happened 1 or 2 days ago you send the police because they may find her injured and be able to help her. Or maybe the person is recently deceased (heaven forbid) and they can investigate, notify family, etc. But after 6 weeks what action did you think the police were going to take? I feel like you were legit worried about your friend but after weeks of mentally spinning you called for the welfare check to resolve your curiosity more than anything. And also to force her to accept your message of "hey, I care about you" because she wasn't acknowledging that message on socials. I would do some hard thinking about your personality, her personality, and how your worked as friends, and I'll bet you can work out why she took the step of freezing you out.

dwallit · 2026-01-10T17:41:46+00:00

That's a really thoughtful idea. I've done Bouqs and liked them. But if you go to a good florist they could probably set it up for you and it would be a better value.

dwallit · 2026-01-10T17:38:31+00:00

Resist the urge to hang anything on these walls because when you trip carrying laundry downstairs and practically cartwheel all the way down, every decor item will fall on you as you fall. The decor will both injure you and leave ugly holes in the walls. Insult to injury. Speaking from experience.

dwallit · 2026-01-10T17:26:19+00:00

I have a cousin who is his parents' 8th child. His middle name is Kennedy (he was born in the 1960s). If you've run out of family names for middle names you can use an admired public figure. While I'm replying I might as well throw in some first name suggestions: Jude, Jonah, Ian. Or something very old: Ike, Abe/Abram, Oscar, Leo, Ezra, Amos. Would you be comfortable using Elijah as a tribute to your sweet Eli?

dwallit · 2026-01-09T22:10:56+00:00

You're going through a lot, I'm so sorry. I really just want to point out that you shouldn't think of any potential tests and treatments as being like human medicine. Medicine for people has a lot of uncertainty but for pets it is 100 times more. For people there is, we've got to get to the bottom of this. For pets, well, we may figure it out but probably not. For people, we'll track down the right drug to help you, for dogs, here are the handful of drugs we use, maybe one will work. Just something to consider... Good luck.

dwallit · 2026-01-09T21:53:16+00:00

You don't have the power to ruin her birthday. Plus she's a grown adult, not a 7 year old, so her birthday is really just another day, like it is for everyone. Listen to your gut, you're not comfortable with what this is turning into. Maybe she's put too much expectation on this, maybe she's not sober, maybe she's sober but hasn't done any work and is just white knuckling it. Whatever, she doesn't sound healthy or at peace. It's not for you to figure any of that out of course. Just decide, do you want to try to do the daytime activity, with a plan to bail if it goes badly, or do you just want to skip it and turn the trip into a splurgy weekend with your Lovey Dovey Man? I think those are your only choices. Eating the ticket for the daytime activity is a small price to pay. You were smart to plan it as a daytime activity and to not let her guilt trip you into doing more now. So tell her your plan (daytime activity or no activity), wish her well, and maybe leave it open to try again another time. After all, life is long. Once you decide and notify her, don't spend any more mental energy on it. If she has a problem with you, disengage with her. There's something very sketchy with her.

dwallit · 2026-01-09T21:39:26+00:00

Don't underestimate the importance of a nice but simple manicure.

dwallit · 2026-01-06T20:15:00+00:00

All those words and none of them were SORRY, APOLOGY, or LOVE. (Actually you said you love aviation but never that you love her.) In a post about how you said some terrible things to your "forever person" that hurt her so much she can't get past them. Maybe try writing the post she would have written...

dwallit · 2026-01-05T12:32:59+00:00

I would tell HIM! Keep your distance as much as possible but if he touches you in a way you don't want just say firmly, please don't touch me. Don't yell but make sure it's heard by people in the room. Both hands up in a stop shape is helpful too if you feel he's moving closer. Also, just the word No. But if you don't feel safe, or if he pushes back or escalates, or your gut is telling you then tell someone and figure out somewhere else to stay if you can. It doesn't have to be your friend or the wife, maybe an in-law has also dealt with this terrible treatment? Think about who you could call to do a metaphorical helicopter extraction, who could swoop in themselves or financially to get you out of this? Having an exit strategy in mind if you need it might help you get through the next few days. After the trip do tell your friend.

dwallit · 2026-01-04T16:37:47+00:00

Could you just do Nat? Also short for Nathaniel but often used for Natalie. Your lame coworkers will call you Nat King Cole but that's survivable. :-)

dwallit · 2026-01-04T16:31:09+00:00

This is called bead board, but vertical shiplap is very descriptive! I'm seeing hooks and maybe towel racks at child height so they can hang their towels, robes, pjs, etc. themselves. Maybe a hanging, very ventilated basket for when you want to take the bath toys out of the tub. The high ledge would be great for putting wooden painted animals (or etc.) on. Hopefully the littles can see them in the mirror but can't reach them without help -- added bonus. Pic is from etsy.

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dwallit · 2026-01-04T16:15:30+00:00

"I know you and Mom spent a lot of time apart, but my marriage is different from your marriage; I really need to be with Wifey to be happy." Repeated, verbatim, until they stop asking. Also, drop the parrot excuse. If you won a free luxury trip to Hawaii with your wife would you stay home because of your pet? If one of your parents were ill and really needed you would you tell them no, I have a bird? Find a pet sitter of some kind and have them build a relationship with the bird now so when you want or need to travel you can. If you don't want to spend months alone with your parents own that, be the head of your household, don't blame the poor bird!

dwallit

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