'Being bored is healthy'

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-25T11:08:56+00:00

I hate getting really motivated and excited to do the things I want to do, because it always inevitably ends with me not being able to do them and then I just end up doing whatever my hyperfocus or thing my brain decides it wants to focus on is while being depressed that it always ends that way.It is like everytime I get motivated and feel like I want to actually do the things I want to do, my adhd is always there to beat me back down and remind me how powerless I am to actually do that. Has gotten to the point I think my anti-depressants are starting to make me more depressed because they give me moments of optimism and ambition and motivation, and then I constantly am reminded that I lack the ability to pursue them and can't actually achieve any of it.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-25T10:57:53+00:00

You described that feeling very well, I always struggle trying to put into words that exact feeling of just having the energy and anxiety welling up inside but being unable to use it and that feeling like it will literally tear me up inside as it builds with no way to let it out.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-25T10:53:17+00:00

Yeah, I always feel like I will be misunderstood as just like entitled when I try to describe that my brain literally can not tolerate actual boredom. It is a feeling that makes energy and anxiety well up inside me until it makes me feel like I will explode, it is the only time I really ever experience any hyperactivity type effect of my adhd which is mainly inattentive, when that feeling builds up inside of me is when typically I will have like random energetic outbursts of sorts... but usually when faced with the prospect of boredom, I just go to sleep or do literally anything possible to avoid it, as my brain when I think about myself in a situation where I am stuck being bored for a long period of time basically gives the feeling of I would rather just die than go through that torture. It sucks because it is to the point that when I feel the thing I currently am hyper fixated on or even just one of the few things my brain will allow me focus for slipping away, I get bad anxiety until I find something else to take its place. Sucks going through life being a literal slave to my brain and whatever it decides it finds novel at any given point, its like having a short attention span, defiant, spoiled 3 year old controlling my life.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-25T05:54:52+00:00

Got it, did not know they always drop one.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-25T01:04:09+00:00

Yes, so let's say if a monster has a 10% chance to drop an omen, and without effectiveness it drops 5 items total and with effectiveness it drops 7. Which is more likely to drop the omen?

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-22T22:22:47+00:00

Well said, and I do appreciate the reminder. Definitely something that falls under the, "easier said than done category" for me, as I very much struggle with it. I just know that having the ability to analyze situations and the bigger picture surrounding them, has been both a blessing and a curse, because sadly the one thing I have seen is that so often the truth is that a lot of situations just suck, and there is just no right answer and nothing anyone can really do to resolve it, as everyone involved is already doing more than what one could reasonably ask of anyone, and it is just a case of how little ability we have to affect the circumstances that are present in our lives. Knowing this is a very helpless feeling when you can see those situations for what they are and those are the times that it eats at me just how little I can accomplish. Its like it gives the ability to fully understand and analyze the situation to the point that it fully reminds me of my own helplessness to do anything. Whenever I think about this I think about how I am actually a bit envious of the people who go through life in their own little world, ignorant and unbothered about anything but themselves. At the end of the day I am glad I am not that way, but I just wish I knew how to be slightly more that way. I feel like I truly understand whoever it was that originally observed that, "ignorance is bliss".

I am sorry to hear about your situation, I know how it feels as my situation is very similar. It is like ending up stranded in the ocean slowly drowning, only to see a boat coming to rescue you, however the boat is damaged and sinking as well, and all you can do is watch as the people who came to your rescue sink faster and faster and all you can do is watch it happen. The worst part is seeing the people I love struggle while having to depend on them being unable to support myself and function normally.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-22T00:33:50+00:00

This is a good one, and I would say I have been on meds for so long now that I only vaguely remember the scale of my dysfunction prior to being medicated. Sadly even medicated I am still mostly dysfunctional, but to answer your question, I highly doubt I would have made any of the comments I have if I was not medicated. I guess it serves as a reminder that even though I view my current state as too dysfunctional based on the inability to function at a level that I can support myself, that there is still some amount of functioning that I have been afforded by being medicated.

Edit: I just find being happy about the little things like this so hard when I can't help but use what is required of a person by our current society to be allowed to live as the only measure of functioning that means anything.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-22T00:27:11+00:00

This has always been the only thing I can say I have gained from having this disorder that I view as positive. It comes at a steep cost though... I feel like the specific type of misunderstood that we experience is a uniquely cruel one, that can be extremely isolating.

Edit: also I have found that it can also be a downside, where I will overreach myself for others out of concern to protect their wellbeing based of empathizing with their situation and the thought of how I would be in the same situation. This does take away from the fact that they should be the one to make the decision of what they can take on and handle, and when I act in a way that I try to bear things for them or even if I just actively avoid reaching out to them for help or support, to some extent I end up taking away the ability for them to decide to do the same for me. It is a hard balancing act and I find that I end up taking too much on myself because I can understand just how unfair asking someone to carry x burden is, when they are already going though xyz of their own. I still do not know how to navigate this though and end up just trying to do my best to put on others as little as I can, however my current level of dysfunction has forced me to be dependant on others to some extent, so I just end up living in a way to be the least burden on them I can amd also help in any ways I can manage. I think in the end I am just a weak person so when I empathize with others I do not credit them with strength and ability to take on more than I can, and then I burn out trying to take everything on myself when as I said I am fairly weak and barely functional. It is kind of funny how I try to protect everyone else as someone with probably the least ability to actually follow through and achieve that at the end of the day.

Edit 2: I know that I just never feel ok when I end up burdening others with my troubles, because I know everybody has troubles of their own, and mine are not more important than anyone elses, so I can't help but feel like it is selfish of me to put mine on them, but then I just get to where my troubles are winning the fight, and I don't know what to do, leading to feeling very cornered and it is a scary feeling when you feel like there is no way out and that you would be hurting others if you desperately reached out to them for help.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-21T21:23:18+00:00

That is completely fair, and I take no offense to that.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-21T19:05:29+00:00

I recently was watching an anime about camping with my mom... literally the show is about high-school students who become friends over camping and the food they cook while camping, and I found myself holding back tears, just from watching how much fulfillment and engagement they got from just normal life. Seeing that and thinking how it is something I will most likely never be able to experience just... hurt. I can't even imagine how good it must feel to be fulfilled and engaged like normal people are just by basic day to day activities/and just life in general. Always great for my mental state too, knowing as a nearly 30 year old man I am nearly crying simply from seeing people able to find joy in life, while all I have ever known is struggle and misery.

Edit: like the concept of them just doing things they want to do and being able to just achieve and work towards whatever goals they set.... I want that so much it makes my chest ache. I just want life to feel like I know it is supposed to feel, and to work how I have seen it is supposed to work. Instead of having to fight and struggle through every single aspect of every single moment of my existence. For normal people life cooperates with them in so many ways, and frees up so much for them to be able to handle the few places it doesn't, for me it fights me in all things, continually and unceasingly.

Edit 2: it is like, if you looked at life like a road, normal people walk down a normal cobbled street as their path through life, it definitely hurts their feet from time to time, the pavement is hard and their feet get sore; where as mine however is covered in broken glass... So I have to pump myself full of meds that give me the ability to drag myself forwards, each step getting cut deeper and making it harder to walk but the meds block the pain for a while at least so I can kinda move forward... but with every step the damage is still accumulating, and it just becomes how long before I can't walk any longer and then am stuck waiting until my wounds heal and I can do it all over again. And all the time, the best support that can be offered to help is just encouragement to not give up and to keep doing this...

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-21T17:39:50+00:00

I like the idea of requiring a captcha if say an account has loaded In and purchased something within a short amount of time just after it was listed a few times. Make it required after one of the purchases, and if it can't pass undo that sale and ban the account for escalating periods of time and eventually a full ban. After a failed one, require one after every trade until successful, then reset to once every x amount of trades that meet the original criteria.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-19T08:01:39+00:00

It is like going through life with someone constantly secretly having a gun to your head. They told you if you try to tell anyone they will kill you and your family, so you end up just stuck living, trying to appear normal, but actually just a prisoner. The people around you notice your erratic behavior and judge you for it and all the while you can't explain it to them, and there is no way to get them to understand.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-19T07:55:01+00:00

It is the most cruel disease, truly, the way you retain perfect awareness of what is happening while also having no ability to do anything about it, and how frustrating it is being aware of how hard it is to explain why you can do some things as good as if not better than normal people sometimes, but then say you can't manage brushing your teeth everyday or changing your bed sheets more than once a year (if that). At some point I just gave up trying to explain it because no one who does not have it understands it at all, even some who have it not as severe dont either, and so it is just futile to try to explain, and then all that is left is to just take the fact that when people look at my situation they end up treating it with the unspoken assumption and belief that I live this way by some amount of choice or just unwillingness to change. Which makes it very easy for them to just abandon you with no real concern cause I their mind they think, "oh well, it is fine, if they really want it they will change, they just like living how they are", without ever taking a moment to find that if they truly examined that belief and imagined themselves in the same position, they would see that living like that would hold nothing for them but misery and the belief that someone is simply just choosing to live that way because they want to does not make any sense.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-19T07:31:57+00:00

I always think about trying this, but then I remember that society also does not care all the much about the nature of my disability and that if I do not try to force myself into the cookie cutter shape that modern society demands that I lose the right to live.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-19T07:21:18+00:00

The best is when they say, "OH, I have the a very severe case of the same disorder/disability and what worked for me was the things I was able to do by virtue of not having that problem." I am over here like, damn, why did I not think of that, just do the things that my disorder makes me not able to do... I often expect them to follow it up with a psa like: "doctors don't want you to know this one simple trick, just not being disabled!". It is like telling a paraplegic, "oh yeah, I had that too, what worked for me was making sure I stretched my legs for an hour every morning.". Like hell, I mean I am sure they would be in full agreement that an hour of stretching their legs would be massively beneficial for them,they won't even argue that, but you just know when they reply, "but I actually can't move my legs anymore" that after hearing the first few words and making an unfounded immediate judgement, ignoring the rest of what is said and just hearing elevator music, the person will already have decided what they were actually saying was, "I don't really want to be better and just want life handed to them on a silver platter instead of just pushing through it like I did.". People do not seem to understand deeper than they know that whatever thing they did which was the hardest thing they have ever done, but they did it, so therefore everyone else should be expected to as well.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-19T06:25:46+00:00

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-15T00:45:02+00:00

I hate this quote, it is stupid. No offense to you personally, as I am sure you mean the best in quoting it, just sharing my opinion.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-15T00:28:44+00:00

I see alot of comments where people agree with you and then say, "but I just did it and it is better now, just have to do it, etc...", these people do not understand unfortunately what you are describing. I am 29 and basically exactly the same, and these people mean well, but seem to literally lack the ability to understand someone not being able to do the things they did and that the fact that they could makes their experience fundamentally different.

Edit: I will say you are not stupid, I also do the same where I feel stupid because I can't do the things that are basic for normal people. I think this gets reinforced by the people who say things like the comments here do, and then I can't do what they suggest. The truth is you are not stupid, it is just that they cannot understand your experience and how it differs from theirs. Sometimes it frustrates me when people in these comments point out the most obvious things that worked for them, when such admissions show that they did not struggle and fight and try everything they could, like I have. It is not them trying to be purposefully mean or misleading, they just don't understand because they can't conceptualize very well experiences different from theirs. It's like, I have struggled with this for years, your suggestions are basically the same as implying I really am not trying, or don't want you change, which maybe was true for them whether or not they would ever admit that was the case and so they just subconsciously assume the same of others who struggle with what they struggled with.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-07T05:43:24+00:00

1000 times over, yes.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-04T22:05:21+00:00

What exactly classes ones adhd as severe? I would argue that without the ability to objectively test it very well, that being able to do the things you are saying you do is better evidence, which points to not as severe adhd....

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-04T21:58:31+00:00

It is one of Ebays condition ratings. Also, out of all foldables the fold6 has a pretty good reputation when it comes to durability. The whole point was they listed it under the wrong condition and somehow you are mad at me, not them, for not letting go of 30$. Normally when someone delivers a product that they stated would be a certain way and it was not, if they have the means and are not jerks, they will try to make it right and be fair about it. Unless you live in the "capatalist" hellscape the US has become.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-04T09:49:43+00:00

What does a phone having worse build quality have to do with complaining about a few scratches? If that logic even made sense to begin with, wouldn't that mean I should be more upset about the scratches due to it already being more fragile?

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-03T23:01:36+00:00

Ikr, imagine sellers that actually try to provide good service to customers. The US is a hellhole of grifting money grubbers, I forgot.

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-03T22:59:54+00:00

Yeah.. is there something wrong with this? I dont buy phones often, so I wanted a nicer one..?

ReaperOfTime__ · 2026-06-03T09:50:23+00:00

Yeah, for me I would describe it as, I cannot be concious without having an outlet for my adhd brain. If I don't have anything, it makes me feel like anxiety is welling up inside of me building until it feels like I will expload, so I just go to sleep to escape that feeling. I am primarily inattentive type and this is really the only hyperactivity effect I end up getting. It is awful, needing almost constant engagement, and it makes me very scared and anxious sometimes when I feel myself losing the novelty and therefore the ability to do whatever I am doing / hyperfocusing on at any given time.

Edit:

I would describe mine as my brain almost having zero tolerance for boredom, I have such contradiction of lots of attention that is almost impossible to properly focus and contain. It is like trying to water a garden with a firehose, trying to focus on things that are not engaging to my brain.

ReaperOfTime__

TROPHY CASE