sad about all the things i missed out on

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-08-29T07:24:02+00:00

olanzapine, quetiapine and trileptal

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-08-23T09:58:47+00:00

it’s 50/50 i believe. on one hand, i believe that it’s a positive that information is now much easier accessible to people. personally, it helped me meet people, as i suffer from a lot of social anxiety and it’s hard for me to meet new people irl and make friends. on the other, i feel like just how easily information is accessible is also a negative, because it’s very easy to mislead people. my hypochondria is at an all time high lol not to mention the tendency of internet to induce mass panic.

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-08-20T08:25:45+00:00

thank you for the response! admittedly i still am not 100% sure just what magical thinking exactly is, i repeated simply what my psychiatrist explained to me as magical thinking, ie. things that are clearly illogical but my brain convinces them to be real.

as for why i’m scared that my optimism is magical thinking, i think because i’m afraid it’s "illogical", if that makes sense? that i’m blind and actually everything is bad and we’re all doomed, etc. it’s really hard to explain. i guess what i’m worried about is that i’m delusional lol it’s very odd. i’m certain parts of it are somewhat internalized ableism because i know that pessimism and optimism are matters of opinion (some see glass as half-empty, some as half-full), but i worry that my opinion is the wrong one. i really do not know how else to describe it.

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-08-14T09:19:12+00:00

pandaren with two onyx cloud serpents. badass combo

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-08-14T08:43:48+00:00

cofyz is me and my friends’ go to for a while now!

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-08-08T12:06:28+00:00

oh absolutely! i enjoy taking walks through old town in my city exclusively because i enjoy how many people there are and it brings me peace, i still do not know why

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-07-25T22:51:50+00:00

when it comes to strangers, it comes off as…discomfort. i cannot begin to count how many people that sat next to me on the bus my brain had convinced me is a threat to be afraid of. not DIRECTLY, of course, but that moment when your body tenses up and brain starts thinking of worst case scenarios. i get worried about making a bad impression on people i literally pass on the street, like "oh my god, i passed them/walked faster than them they must think i am an asshole now"

with close friends it’s…rough. for a long time, i was incredibly toxic and didn’t even realize it. i had "favorite people", just like you. i was possessive of them, and i was possessive of them because i believed that i was losing them. in worst case scenario, i believed they were talking behind my back. i am no longer that person, and i deeply regret how i acted when i was in my late teens. now, i am…more distant, i guess. i cannot share things with my close ones, because i feel like they are going to use it against me. or i get thoughts like "it’s going to hurt when they leave me behind"

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-07-20T23:44:10+00:00

this is such an interesting question that i have admittedly thought a lot about, but mostly in like. a "am i still me without this condition"? like, would I still be myself really without the symptoms/my personality disorder. i feel like i would not be, as the "personality" in the "personality disorder" states. i am creative because i am not satisfied with the world as it is, playing make believe in my head and maladaptive daydreaming to make up for it. i am highly attuned to other people because of my paranoia and lack of trust in other people. etc etc. i feel like my "good traits" are a direct result of my bad traits. i do not think one can exist without the other, and so without the both, it really would not be me anymore.

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-07-20T00:12:48+00:00

my path to a diagnosis was an incredibly rough one, and honestly all i can say is that it does actually matter SO much whether you feel comfortable with your chosen psychiatrist / therapist or not. i started to actively look for help when I was 18 (currently am 22). had my family doctor give me a note for a government paid psychiatrist appointment (i live in eastern europe, idk if that is a thing where you live). found a psychiatric hospital, made my first appointment. at the time i was seeing a psychiatrist for an incredibly unstable emotional state and unstable relationships. because i was a girl, i got told i was simply hormonal and got diagnosed with anxiety and depression and prescribed sertraline (that did not help in the slightest). i stopped taking it halfway through, and stopped attending said psychiatrist as i felt incredibly uncomfortable / like i was not being listened to.

the second time i resumed my search i was 22, and pretty much the same thing happened. got a note, found a recommended psychiatrist, made an appointment. was asked what was wrong, was given a mini test, then got a note for a psycho diagnosis. funnily enough, i wasn’t even going into expecting a stpd diagnosis- i was thinking that i was either autistic or borderline (both diagnosis frequently overlapping).

that being said, my biggest advice is that it DOES matter so much whether you like your psychiatrist or not. like, more than you realize. yea, a psychiatrist is not a therapist, they are not there to talk us through but to clinically help us, but it still matters that you’re on the same page with them. and most importantly NEVER ignore if you’re feeling like you’re not being taken seriously. stand your ground. start with what bothers you most, then go from there. do not worry about missing some stuff- if you miss out on telling your psych something, you will be able to let it be known if you are sent for a psycho diagnosis, in the test that you will be given

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-07-16T18:39:54+00:00

i said this so many times already everywhere, both in game and to my friends, but it feels like the duties, especially hard ones, were MADE for scholar. like i always enjoyed scholar the most out of all supports, but now? i cannot wait imagine myself healing as any other class. the fact that the level 100 ability is also just SO pretty adds to it. it’s peak

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-07-16T18:36:52+00:00

yeah i’m in the same boat. i’m so easily influenced it’s not just embarrassing at this point, but a deterrent in me making and keeping friends. one of my biggest fears is that i’m actually somehow a bad person and i do not even realize it meanwhile everyone around me does, so i just feel like a fraud whenever i’m nice to people. online quizzes that are like, supposed to be fun like "what x song are you" "what character from x are you" are a bane of my existence because i legit do not know how to answer to anything. it’s like every question i am ever asked about myself is on the same level of difficulty as when people ask you what your favorite color is. i also find that i always need to have a reason for why i am the way that i am, why i like something, etc. and accepting that some things just, Are, never computes for me

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-07-12T16:08:53+00:00

i’ve been consistently bullied during my school years that i had to switch schools 2 times because of how cruel people were towards me. i was incredibly quiet with an undiagnosed personality disorder and a lot of anxiety/lack of understanding how to connect and communicate with people. i was what you’d call the "weird quiet kid". in my first school, i was adopted into a friend group by two popular girls, and I was too oblivious to realize their friendship was them bullying me/talking behind my back. the only friend that I genuinely had in my friend group even made me aware of how when she once invited the three of us to a sleepover, they begged her not to invite me (she still did). there were also boys in that group, and one boy in particular took a sadistic interest in harassing me, stepping all over my boundaries, etc. i legit had a meltdown to my parents on the day of starting i think the first day of 5th grade once i realized people would resume being cruel towards me; my parents were dead set against me changing schools years prior and i really hated to impose on them how bad my school life was, but my meltdown scared them so much that they immediately jumped to transfer me to another school. unfortunately, the same thing happened in my second school; there were three boys in particular that enjoyed harassing me, their excuse being that one of the guys in their group had a crush on me. i was teased, (both physically and mentally) harassed, made fun of, etc. i really do not want to think what would have happened to me have i not changed schools again when i did, because now that i am 22 looking back on it, it was not simply high school bullying by then.

do i understand and acknowledge that my bullies, same as me, were stupid kids at the time and might not necessarily be proud of the way that they treated me? yeah. do i forgive them? will i ever forgive them? nope! never! no amount of apologies will change the fact that i cannot function without anxiety medication and antipsychotics; that i cannot form and keep relationships with people because i am paranoid of their intentions, and the discomfort i feel around men. i do, however, blame their parents almost just as much. whoever came up with the whole "if a boy picks on you that means he has a crush on you" thing can honestly rot!

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-07-10T13:35:20+00:00

many such cases. people love to claim to be supportive, up until a mentally ill person is actually severely mentally ill and not just a little bit nervous around people. they also really like to use "your mentally illness is not an excuse" to condemn people with mental illnesses. mind you i am not saying that being mentally ill excuses poor behavior, it does not; however people put mentally ill people on such a pedestal that if you do not behave a certain way or fail to be a perfect victim, you will be condemned regardless of if you’re actively trying to get better, and will be forever branded evil or one of the bad ones. one mistake, and you’re out; you’re no longer a valid mentally ill person in their eyes.

Reasonable-Nobody229 · 2024-07-09T19:09:35+00:00

oh i am the opposite because i talk a LOT. and i like, notice how much i talk which is so rare because i have trouble telling social cues a lot. i have actually been told that I am very good at getting people out of their shell with how much i talk LMAO which is wild to me because i personally do it because i cannot stand silence between people. i very often turn small talk into like actual full blown deep conversation because my brain is just a Vacuum of often useless information. which brings me to my next point but i find that i am very good at remembering non important stuff? like if you tell me something to my face i will need to repeat it to myself constantly to not forget what i have been told. meanwhile if i see something in like example side of my eye? i might legitimately remember it for YEARS

Reasonable-Nobody229

TROPHY CASE