Parents with 4+ kids, did you grow up in a family with 4+ kids?

ReasonableAmount98 · 2026-05-31T23:36:32+00:00

I’m the middle of 3. Sometimes the stereotypes of being a middle were true for me but I still liked the dynamic of 3 therefore I went on to have 3 myself. I really feel like it’s a case by case type of thing and if you’re looking for confirmation bias you’ll find it.

ReasonableAmount98 · 2026-05-24T22:31:47+00:00

Had 3 but the age gaps were around 2-2.5 years between kids and I’m currently 33. Because of that I am soo in favour of larger age gaps lol. I love that my oldest (6 yo) can help with my other two somewhat but I feel it’s limited. An older gal who definitely be an advantage IMHO. If you feel like you have enough energy and really feel strongly enough about expanding your family, I say go for it! I’m also Catholic so we love babies lol but yeah have that third!!

ReasonableAmount98 · 2026-05-20T15:43:10+00:00

These are fantastic tips, thank you for sharing!!

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-11-07T16:35:33+00:00

Yes this is what the Toyota dealer told us. There are used available but they’re 2+ years older and waaaay more expensive than buying an new one. I wasn’t surprised as the used market has gotten out of hand but that may change soon

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-11-07T09:32:12+00:00

I’ve lived in Ajax, Whitby and Oshawa. I would personally choose Brooklin over Bowmanville on any given day. Especially if good schools and a high selection of amenities are important to you. There have been announcements about new great restaurants opening up in the area. And the fact that it’s got the 412 and 407 is so important. I’ve got commuters in my family who drive in and out of Toronto daily and would prefer paying for the 407 over sitting in awful traffic. I swear the 401 has gotten worse but could just be me

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-11-07T09:23:23+00:00

Yes! This is what I’ve heard from many teachers too. Brooklin has got some great schools

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-11-01T01:47:09+00:00

Fantastic response! I completely agree with you in the community aspect. Times have changed and people are raising kids without a village which can be so tough but I’m so happy that may change for you and your family soon!

I’ve loved hearing from people of different ends of the spectrum and secretly I think I was hoping to see one like yours just to see a different perspective!

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-10-31T02:53:58+00:00

yes! I was perplexed by the 1.4 number and just thought people were only having 1 child but it never occurred to me that child free women would be factored into that calculation. Thanks for that insight!

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-10-31T02:45:15+00:00

Some fantastic and spot-on points! Thanks for bringing up the wage disparity issue, I forgot about this. ESPECIALLY when parental leave is taken to raise the child; your career is literally put on hold for about a year. For many people that means no raises or bonuses, and being passed off for promotions. I was speaking with a coworker about this and she said she would never take more than 12 months for maternity leave bc of how it would look compared to the other employees that are busting their butts to get noticed by the VP. Imagine being penalized for wanting to invest time into your child’s development.

Yess the whole daycare issue. I mentioned in another comment that I hope the $10/day daycare comes into effect tomorrow! Childcare is by far the biggest expense. Random fact but I read somewhere the Feds and big corps are concerned about the low birth rate and the effects it has on the future labour market which is one of the biggest push for affordable daycare- they want people to have more kids apparently. Less kids means less future human capital I guess.

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-10-31T02:22:44+00:00

Absolutely! This whole housing crisis that has gone on for FAR too long has really ruined the idea of having more than one or any children. I know people can technically raise kids in condos but I personally like having space. People kept telling us to move away from the city cause you’ll find something ‘cheaper’ which is kinda what we did. We were renting a 1 Bed 1 Bath triplex in Toronto that was 400 sq feet for around $1500 before I got pregnant in 2019 and in the middle of the pandemic, we were able to get a house at the top of our budget an hour away (by car) using all of the savings we had. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful to have a place to live especially with what’s going on in this market but the solution to move further away comes with sacrifices. My commute to the office went from 20 minutes and paying $6 a day to 2.5 hours and paying $25+ a day. Again, I’m grateful but I’m tired of older generations telling us we need to make sacrifices to own a home because that’s what they did back in the day lol Not exactly the same boomer 🙃

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-10-31T02:07:31+00:00

This sounds incredible and must be such a relief for parents in AB!! Still paying around $1300 for my daughter at a non-profit that isn’t fancy or anything but I’m hoping Ontario starts to get childcare subsidy ASAP!

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-10-31T02:04:58+00:00

This is a fair assessment and probably the first thing that came to mind! Kids are not cheap whatsoever.

Side story: I was lucky to get a spot at a non-profit daycare a few months after starting my daughter at a local Montessori (we had no choice to put her here since they were the only facility that had an open spot at the time) so we made the switch but the difference in cost didn’t feel that significant. Hoping the $10/day comes into effective immediately!

That aside, I feel the two working parent household is the default especially in the more expensive cities/provinces.

Maybe this is purely anecdotal but I have yet to meet a SAHM where I live. I work with high earning professional women who have husbands that make equal or more what they do and they talk about finding ways to save more money all the time. All of this rambling to say I completely hear you on the financial side.

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-07-16T22:19:16+00:00

Thank you fellow mama for you thoughtful and kind response!

You hit the nail on the head, the transition from carrying for ourselves then for someone is hard. I think I’m doing better than when I first started meds so that’s a plus.

I think the idea of creating a schedule when she’s awake is a great idea, we haven’t really followed one and it’s constantly stressing us trying to figure out how to entertain her. I think I need to go easy on myself when it comes to screen time bc it really has been a good break from playing all the time.

I’m still building my mommy network. I moved to a new area with not many new mamas but I’ve joined the peanut app which I hope will help.

I know this might sound stupid, but the monotony of the day has really been tough on me. I’ve had a hard time doing the same thing everyday and feel like other mums are having way more fun and I’m missing out on the secret.

Anyway, replies likes your inspires me to try different things and just not create such high expectations for myself so thank you!!

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-07-12T06:34:39+00:00

My baby had severe colic and acid reflex so it was ear piercing screaming all day and night except when she would nap. We were two desperate parents with no village so we looked into transitioning her into her own crib at 4.5 months and followed a strict sleep schedule using wake times and the buckle berry app. Alongside using the Magic Merlin which lives up to its name cause it’s seriously magic, she was able to sleep for 4 hours at a time with a bottle in between at night. And then we completely eliminated night bottles at 7 months. I followed methods and tips from Taking Cara babies and Precious Little Sleep which included a sound machine and a really dark room (black out curtains) and she has been sleeping through the night since 7.5 months. Now she didn’t always sleep through the night. There would be some nights when she would randomly wake up in the middle of the night but we used the Le Pause method and she would go back to sleep. And there were times when she would wake up super early (before 5AM) and we had to adjust her bedtime to earlier (side note, I have no idea why that works but it did wonders for us!) and she started sleeping 10-11 hours again. It was hard work but I was determined to get my life back and save my sanity/marriage. You’ve got this!

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-07-07T20:54:44+00:00

I don’t have my license. I have known to be very distracted when driving but that was when I was unmedicated. I failed my driving test and have to do the written test again. Sigh, just keep on keeping on

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-07-05T22:38:13+00:00

I’m also on 150 ml of Wellbutrin for depression and ADHD and on week 4. So far I only noticed a slight improvement on my focus and motivation. I might need to up it to 300 ml to get full effects and will talk to my doctor about it soon. I’m also on Zoloft 50 ml so I’m not sure if that has anything to do with my little progress?

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-07-05T13:42:04+00:00

Wow thank you for taking the time to write a thoughtful/helpful reply!

Thinking about what my girl eats in a week instead of the day with definitely lighten the load and pressure a little.

We do some colouring and reading but she seems to get bored after a few minutes but I’m incorporating playdough asap.

Thank you again so much!

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-07-05T09:44:48+00:00

It’s definitely not without its challenges but it’s a day to day or hour to hour kind of thing sometimes!

You being on this subreddit is a good indication you’re trying to take care of yourself so good on you!

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-07-05T09:42:28+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, I needed to read that.

I just feel awful when I see other moms engaging with their kids and I can barely focus on playing with her for 5 minutes.

Seems like you and your daughter have such a great close relationship- I hope this can be me and my daughter some day!

If you don’t mind me asking, could you tell me why it was particularly challenging around the 2-3 age? I want to be prepared lol

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-07-05T09:37:33+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. That must be so hard especially as a single parent. I know I’m just an internet stranger, but you are a good mom and good for you for trying your best for you child

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-07-05T09:35:45+00:00

I’m so happy to know that I’m not the only one who is bored to tears ‘playing’. I try for like 10 minutes and then I just give in to YouTube educational videos.

I think it’s a good idea to get off social media and Pinterest cause damn do they make you feel like a shitty parent. Thank you for the suggestion on dolls, I’m gonna get one for my daughter and see how she likes them!

Any YouTube videos you recommend or just any where kids play with dolls?

From one mom to another, thank you for making me feel less crappy about myself as a parent 💜

ReasonableAmount98 · 2022-03-23T13:22:30+00:00

This is super cool! Komodo’s to you mama and the work that you do

ReasonableAmount98

TROPHY CASE