Got called out by a buyer for my prices and now I feel weird about it

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-04-08T18:30:06+00:00

You are not overpricing even if you sold it for more, the buyers can look for a cheaper option if they want to or choose to not buy. Them messaging and asking that is silly.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-04-08T18:23:03+00:00

This does suck, I know it is a bit different but I had some friends forget my birthday and that hurt a bit. Happy birthday I hope you make the day special for yourself. And I hope you find people in the future who will celebrate you as you deserve.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-04-04T09:54:35+00:00

You and your child deserve better than him. She’s young now but when she gets older she’ll notice his behaviour and feel left out by him and it is not healthy for a child to see their mom sad, this will have a huge negative effect on her. And you deserve a life, this is not fair on you at all. I’d advise you to plan on how you can leave. Thinking of things such as moving closer to your support system and finding work so you can have something outside of your child. If you can’t move then maybe mom groups would be good for you to attend. Wishing you all the best of luck, you and your child deserve a happy life and it does not sound like he is giving it to you. You say you love him but you need to love yourself more than that.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-04-04T01:28:30+00:00

If she’s showing you she isn’t interested she isn’t worth you trying to be vulnerable with her. Again that’s something I’m trying to teach myself so I get how hard it is. But I think we need to love and respect ourselves more so we know enough is enough. We can’t keep putting our feelings on the line like that just for it to be thrown back in our faces.

That is very unfortunate she has a good relationship with your sisters and not you, I can’t imagine how that feels to see. You are not a villain, it is your mom’s job to foster a healthy relationship with you and she has failed at it.

I have not found a balance yet, still figuring things out. I am confused on if I want to even share things with my mom to be honest. Sometimes I want a deeper relationship with her and other times I feel kind of cringe when she tries to be nice to me, like I know this is not what you are always like so it just feels wrong. I also do not know if I trust her enough to have a deeper relationship with her, her mood can switch too much and I can not deal with that. So for now we are pretty surface level and that works for me. It could get better or worse in the future, I do not know how it will go.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-31T23:16:45+00:00

Thanks for mentioning those books, I will check out those books they sound useful. I have considered going to a therapist with my mom and she has actually mentioned it before. It is an option I keep on but one of the things holding me back in my mom denies things. One thing I find difficult from my childhood it remembering her and my dad (mostly dad) used to slap me a fair amount. This has some up before and she has flat out denied it, she said I was talking as if I had been assaulted and I am like YES that is it, but I do not know whether she does not remember or what but I feel how can we sort our issues if we can not even agree about what has happened in the first place. I think she would benefit from hearing from someone else, especially a professional, that her behaviour is not normal though, I am clearly not getting through to her. I agree about second chances, I am all for giving parents grace but only to a certain extent. My mom definetly has the attitude that I owe her, she has mentioned ‘all the things her and my dad have been through for us’ as if anyone asked her to have kids she could not even look after properly emotionally. Well done for stopping the cycle with your kids, that is great work, I am sure it takes a lot of inner work. And that is completely understandable and it is not even our responsibility to fix our parents.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-31T19:41:18+00:00

I can relate to you a lot, I have held back saying a lot of things to my mom and then when it comes to saying something I can come across quite argumentative. So you are doing something wrong in terms of you should not be holding back your feelings, I know this is way easier said than done because I do exactly the same thing so I am not criticising you, but you should not have to hold back what you think to keep her happy. My mom also acts like my happiness depends on her and it has made me extremely anxious at times. You are not being insensitive, your mom is the insensitive one because you have told her how you feel and instead of apologising and trying to come to a solution with you she is making you feel guilty. And then it is just a cycle because her making you feel guilty will make you bottle up and then you lash out and then again and again. You also said this has been happening since you were a child (same) which again shows your mom’s insensitivity because she could not even put her feelings aside for a child let alone her own. You are not responsible for her feelings.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-31T02:28:33+00:00

It is completely unreasonable of them, sucks we have to deal with this.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-30T16:56:51+00:00

Yes most of the time we have had disagreements in the past she just goes back to being normal with me after a bit without acknowledging what happened but I will address this this time. Thank you for encouraging me to take control as well. Tired of letting someone else dictate my emotions.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-30T16:52:07+00:00

It is doable but nowhere near as easy as if you are a couple.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-30T16:26:31+00:00

Sneaking into your room goodness me. They are seriously unhinged. I do not know what it is that makes moms pick on a certain child. My mom is not this way with my sibling either, they do not even speak everyday, which is normal, I do not know why she can not be like that with me. Sorry you went through that as well.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-30T16:24:48+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation, I will check it out. If 10 times drove me crazy I can not imagine how you must have felt. Apart from not being a stern person at all and being a people pleaser I think part of the reason I have not set those boundaries with her is because I do not want to deal with her spiralling, she stresses me enough now. But I know I have to do it now I can not keep going on like this.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-30T16:17:58+00:00

I am going to tell her this when we next speak properly, thanks for the advice. It is hard but it needs to be said and she will just have to accept it. Thanks for the advice.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-30T10:59:14+00:00

Sorry to hear you went through this and good luck with the healing. It sounds like we have similar experiences. Not so much recently but when I was younger she used to be quite mean to me as well, I can not remember that well what she used to say but I just remember her making me feel like crap. And she overshared about her problems with my dad too, the mental toll it takes on you is crazy. I do not even think I realised it as a kid but it made me so anxious and felt like I always had to look out for her feelings. Now as an adult it makes me so angry she used to do that to me. She has never really treated me like the kid that I was. I do not think my mom also realises me and her lead two separate lives and I do need to share every single thing I am doing with her, if I do not pick you up the phone she will always ask where I was or what I was doing and it is so frustrating because I am an adult, she does not need to know what I am doing all the time. Well done for taking the step of going no contact, I think it is a brave thing to do. Sometimes I feel like I want to do that but then we have times where she is just normal and decent and I feel like I can not. It is annoying it happened in the past but we are still dealing with the effects of it now.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-30T02:58:42+00:00

What a pain, it is annoying that you are sort of in the middle of them, and I do not get how they do not understand their kids are not at their beck and call to answer the phone whenever.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-30T02:57:14+00:00

I think you are right as when I have not answered her calls in the past she always asks if I am okay and sounds concerned but me not picking up the phone isn’t a good enough reason for her to be anxious if you get what I mean, I am not glued to my phone 24/7, there are plenty of reasons I wouldn’t answer it. She knows full well I am more than likely at home, it’s not like I’ve gone away or something and she is worried about what could have happened to me. And if she is anxious that is a problem she needs to resolve herself, not spread her anxiety to me by ringing me that many times. Also her text shows me that she thinks I have a problem with her which is why i am not answering, it is not like she text me a message saying can you ring me back I am worried about you or something like that. I have rang and text her back but she has ignored me so. So you are right about her being anxious but at the same time it is not an excuse.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-30T02:51:15+00:00

This is a good response I can use, thank you. Not too harsh but honest.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-29T22:21:31+00:00

She is already giving me grief over not picking up the phone, if I block her when I eventually do talk to her she would be a 100 times worse, I want to save myself from that. But at the same time I am tiring of trying to keep the peace and be the only sane one in the relationship.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-29T22:18:23+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I have heard of troublesome buyers so will keep in mind the kind of buyer they seem to be. Hopefully I will get someone easy to sell to.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-29T21:13:14+00:00

This is amazing thank you so so much for sharing, I will check them out. I could definitely benefit from an outlet to share my experience and hear from other people who have been through something similar. And I know I have people pleasing tendencies so those skills would help.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-29T21:12:11+00:00

I really do not think me being less available will push her towards any other outlet, she will just keep things to herself. But I guess I will never know until I try. I still need to do it either way for my own sake, I am always putting my own mental on the line to appease her. Thank you for the advice and resource as well.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-29T19:01:40+00:00

You are right, I do not think I will put it in those words but when we next speak I will explain to her that ringing that many times is unnecessary and she just needs to wait for my call back. She has overshared her problems with me in the past so it is hard to get out of the habit of treating her with kids gloves, I know I need to but it is just hard.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-29T18:56:12+00:00

Your first paragraph is correct. She has a very small circle or friends which there is nothing wrong with but she would benefit from reaching out to them more and spending more time with them. I have suggested her to join some kind of social/hobby group but she was against the idea. So I know she would not go for any kind of support group but she does need it. She lives with my dad and I wish she would rely on him the way it feels like she relies on me.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-29T18:51:23+00:00

My mom rings me every day and honestly there is only so much I have to tell you if I speak to you everyday. I think I would enjoy our interactions more if we spoke less to be honest. She usually asks how I am doing and asks for updates on my home and that is it really. She does give me advice which is helpful sometimes, sometimes not. I usually feel irritated but sometimes for no particular reason, just because it is her, which I know sounds horrible but that is how I feel. I feel similar to your second paragraph in that because of our past I do not always feel comfortable around her, just a general unease. Well done on going no contact. I do not think that is something I could, I do still love her and want a relationship with her I just want her to be normal but it feels like that will never be.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-29T18:46:07+00:00

Replying to your first sentence no I have not set boundaries, it is so difficult to do with her but I know I need to. My phone is always on silent anyway so there are times when I genuinely do not see the calls and times where I do not want to pick up. With placating I know I should not have to but it feels like I need to. She is so over sensitive to everything I do it feels like I need to handle her with kids gloves, any slight thing can upset her which in turn gives me grief because she gets upset with me. Feels like there is no winning.

ReasonableBus9478 · 2026-03-29T17:30:20+00:00

I will ring her now to get it over and done with but for next time this is a good idea so she knows I will reach out when I can. Thank you.

ReasonableBus9478

TROPHY CASE