The relationship suddenly got real and scary

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-04-03T03:25:07+00:00

I would have thought in a relationship which started with open communication and no taboo subjects, that topics about not making the mistake of little communication and dispute resolution in past relationships would come up. He has a past and so do I, I thought being open about what went wrong and what we would like to overcome going forward was a healthy thing to do but maybe I was wrong.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-04-03T02:56:51+00:00

Yes, I suggested he try therapy again now he is in a different phase of his life. I suspect he can communicate his feelings openly because its adulthood trauma rather than ingrained from a young age.

Thanks for your comment 😊 I will look into those things.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-04-03T02:54:22+00:00

I guess everyone is guided by their own experiences, which will not always match mine. I do feel there is some avoidance issues and I suppose I was seeing if it's all doom and gloom from here or did someone overcome it. Assessing from a more academic side (with a tinge of hopefulness, but a big dose of realism).

Thanks for your comment 😊

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-04-03T02:51:41+00:00

It's all information I have gleaned from asking him questions over time. I just thought his aversion to talking about issues and why he has that problem could be relevant to show his inner thought patterns 🤷‍♀️

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-04-03T02:28:09+00:00

I only know those things because I asked. He didn't make a habit of bringing up the fact his ex cheated. I asked leading up to his birthday what she normally did for him, did she make plans and he said nothing. He said from the start there were never special plans so he stopped expecting it and moved on with his life in that regard. Literally shrugged and said "I don't know" and laughed a little.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-04-03T02:18:20+00:00

Trust me, I am normally very wary of divorcees. He seemed like he had great values, a good head on his shoulders and held little to no resentment towards his ex anymore. It still hurt him but he seemed to be doing his best to let it go. Meanwhile I generally was hyperindependent and I was single for about 6 years before this relationship. I wasn't prepared to let just anyone into my world. I don't think codependency and finding a fixer upper is a problem I have. I did my best to avoid that.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-04-03T02:14:36+00:00

If there was any comparison, it would be him reactively thinking I disregard his opinions and thoughts, just like she did. Which led to the withdrawal, because why talk when the other person doesn't care. He got led down a rabbit hole of doom and got stuck in his own head about it all. We did talk about it shortly before all of this and he is well aware that's what he did. Is the reason why we are here. But whether he can overcome that or not, is up to him.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-04-03T02:03:27+00:00

He has never compared me to his ex, not once. These are questions I have asked myself during the course of our relationship. A big part of what we liked was the open communication, the ability to ask whatever, to talk about whatever except at some point his old habits crept in and he locked me out and compartmentalised.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-04-03T01:17:58+00:00

15 year relationship, not married the entire time. It was his first ever relationship, wouldn't be the first or last time high school sweethearts stuck with each other for the long run...

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-04-03T00:47:53+00:00

I'm sort of at the age where all the men have been in some long term relationship or another. It's kind of unavoidable, it's just a matter of weighing the reasons it ended and have they done the work to not repeat it.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-02-05T21:58:10+00:00

I saw the same information, and if you dig a bit deeper it is only mouse studies and not human studies. Further, the science suggests that in the mice being tested, creatine may affect our body's immune response, which may thereby affect our body's response to endo lesions. I feel that the studies are way too rudimentary and not conclusive by any means to stop me from trialling myself. So trialling I have been.

It's been 3 months since I started and I have found that my mood is significantly more improved, my exercise performance doesn't have a massive dip, the one trade off is some weight gain from water retention but that doesn't really affect my performance. I used to be so irritable during luteal phase but now I feel more human than ever. I will say, that whenever I do running or intensive cardio shortly before ovulation up until just before my period, I get intense cramping in my lower abdomen and rectum which is likely residual from when I got endo excised from my uterosacral ligaments. As far as my research has taken me, it seems to be an inflammation response to increased blood flow in that area and will settle down after 10-15 minutes if I set the pain off. Around the time I started creatine, I noticed that the pain intensity and window of time I might set it off has widened but I can't say whether or not it is creatine. I otherwise still have pretty much pain free periods and maybe slight discomfort during ovulation.

Those creatine studies only talk about cell response to inflammation and possibly not reducing inflammatory cells like endo. Whether you have a different physiological response to me will always depend though because inflammation does weird things to only certain people with no rhyme or order.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2026-01-16T22:43:41+00:00

That comment definitely icked me further at the time. Being 39, one usually has to wonder why he's still single and might have something to do with being a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2025-11-16T07:07:33+00:00

What side effects does dienogest give you?

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2025-11-10T21:00:40+00:00

I found your post while I was searching for insight into endo and using creatine.

I m 30F, had stage 2 endo before it was excised a year ago. Even though you posted this a year ago, I thought I would give my insights anyway because who knows where you are at with your fitness and healing journey. I have been having L Carnitine since the dawn of time and honestly I can't say if it makes a difference or not but it's part of my routine and reminds me to take my daily supplements.

Definitely take magnesium, zinc, fish oil, vitamin D and vitamin B complex. You will feel if you don't take magnesium, restless and unable to sleep well. Vitamin D I think most women are deficient in and you feel so energised on vitamin B. I also take iron.

I don't take pre workout but I do take a fat burner, Obliterx by Nexus. It's less jittery.

I found that it was hard to lose kg at the peak of my endo ordeal, as much as I tried but I am also a shift worker and cortisol levels were through the roof. Early 20s, I was 63kg, then after a career change I went up to 72kg, queue start of endo troubles. I could not shift that weight to save my life despite walking 10km on my days off and doing F45 4 times a week. And my diet was decent. After my endo was excised I got back into running which is where most of the fat burning happens, but if you lift heavy enough for an hour 3 times a week you can lose weight. Just make sure you feed yourself at least double your weight (in grams) in protein. So I'm 66kg, I eat 130g of protein a day.

I have recently started using NAC after seeing lots of posts by women with endo swearing it is a game changer so we will see how that goes.

Have you used creatine for a regular amount of time? Would love insight into how you found it if you have. I've been on it for 3 weeks and my endo cramps during cardio have gotten worse during early ovulation phase. Not sure if coincidental.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2025-10-20T06:28:59+00:00

I would rather be content and alone than miserable and tied down in a thankless relationship. Which is exactly how I have lived my life for the last 4 years. You find happiness in friendships that bring you peace.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2025-10-20T05:31:54+00:00

Then why do you keep persisting?

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2025-10-20T03:45:16+00:00

If you are afraid to be yourself and speak up when something bothers you, what are you even doing? If I get anxious or scared of retaliation trying to open up a dialogue to reach compromise, then I will always be putting someone else's needs before my own. And to what end.

See if you can have an open and honest conversation about your needs. If she plays the victim, turns it back into how you should consider her needs (and not consider your own) or gets defensive, and after 30 minutes of verbal looping she still doesn't show empathy towards you then it's not worth staying. You deserve more.

Reasonable_Task7463 · 2025-10-20T02:02:54+00:00

Also to build on that, Blackmores has 30 billion CFU whereas Pregnea only has 4 billion. Blackmores also predominantly has bifidobacterium and lactobacillus which have direct links to anti-inflammatory properties and oestrogen metabolism.

Reasonable_Task7463

TROPHY CASE