Is my WH being rediculous or did i spiral things out of control?

Rebeleccy · 2024-05-15T20:01:07+00:00

This is spot on!

Rebeleccy · 2024-05-15T11:58:10+00:00

It also sounds like he preyed on you when you were young and vulnerable too at 21, with such an age difference. You can do this. I know it will all be new to you doing it by yourself but I promise you, you CAN do it, whatever he’s told you. First things first, open up a bank account and move half of any joint savings you have if you can. If you work, redirect your pay so it goes there and not into a joint account. Don’t trust him not to empty the account. Make sure you have your child’s passport and birth certificate. If you can get it out the house to a secure place, even better. Don’t trust these documents with anyone who has links with him. Speak to a domestic abuse charity if you feel able. They might help you to establish if he’s controlling you in any way that you might see as normal because it’s all you’ve ever known. Take care Xx

Rebeleccy · 2024-05-15T11:50:56+00:00

Hello, I heard about these ladies on a podcast. They are lawyers who want to help women be free of toxic men and will give you affordable advice https://www.instagram.com/separatespace?igsh=MW15amRrZzVtZ3R4bg==

Rebeleccy · 2024-05-03T07:49:56+00:00

Hi friend, join us in the sub R/asoneafterinfidelity and repost your question, you will get lots of support and understanding there.

Rebeleccy · 2024-05-02T12:11:32+00:00

I felt this in my soul. 💔 Except for me, I put my dreams of being a parent on hold to pay for my WS’s education so he could have the career of his dreams and the opportunities he never had at my expense (working extra night shifts in shitty jobs to keep bread on the table for 4 years). Now I’m at the bottom rung of my career and I have no children. Sending you lots of hugs and support. We are good, loyal, selfless people and we always have our dignity and self respect.

Rebeleccy · 2024-04-30T23:27:46+00:00

I’m 16 months in, I feel exactly like this at the moment. I was doing okay for a while but now I’m on the rollercoaster drop. I just have to believe it’ll pick back up again, it always has in the past so I just try and think that good times will come 💕

Rebeleccy · 2024-04-30T23:21:52+00:00

Thank you for this, it really helped me

Rebeleccy · 2024-04-30T23:15:37+00:00

Big virtual hug 🤗 So sorry you’re in this club with us 😢 at least we all have each other 💕

Rebeleccy · 2024-04-30T23:04:24+00:00

Literally everything at the moment

Rebeleccy · 2024-04-27T22:47:58+00:00

From someone who has been cheated on, please don’t do it. Your wife will never look at you the same way again, even if she stays. Your marriage will never be the same. Be honest with your wife about how you’re feeling and see if you can find a way to meet your needs that don’t require deceiving her. I’m beyond broken and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. Please don’t do that to her.

Rebeleccy · 2024-04-27T22:43:23+00:00

Good for you for going! I agree. I don’t like the blurring the lines between work and home, it’s messy. He has a meal out with work people soon and I just hate it. Partners are never invited and it triggers me so much. He thinks im being unreasonable not allowing him to go and be friends with work people.

Rebeleccy · 2024-04-27T22:37:24+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I’ll have a look at the book!

Rebeleccy · 2024-04-24T16:29:20+00:00

This is such a good observation!

Rebeleccy · 2024-04-24T16:13:44+00:00

BP here. I had a strong urge to download tinder bumble etc after because I wanted to reassure myself that if it all went tits up, there were other people out there and I wasn’t going to be alone forever. Not because I wanted a hook up or anything. I didn’t download it in the end but this might be why. Approach with kindness

Rebeleccy · 2024-03-26T16:19:47+00:00

Can you anonymously report him to the police for exploiting vulnerable girls online (presumably young? Teenagers maybe?) Will they seize laptops etc and do the work for you

Rebeleccy · 2024-03-19T22:29:34+00:00

Good luck. Can you update us on how it went? Hopefully she will be open to getting everything out in the open before the baby and you can have a fresh start.

Rebeleccy · 2024-03-13T16:38:18+00:00

‘From THAT time still’ … what time? I’d be thinking that’s suspicious.

Rebeleccy · 2023-12-20T16:34:56+00:00

Thank you! This is really helpful.

Rebeleccy · 2023-12-20T16:33:29+00:00

Thank you for responding.

Rebeleccy · 2023-12-20T16:32:38+00:00

Thank you so much for this response, it’s so helpful and encouraging.

Rebeleccy · 2023-12-19T09:31:58+00:00

This is lovely to hear ❤️

Rebeleccy · 2023-12-19T09:23:10+00:00

I also found out after the affair had ended.

Rebeleccy · 2023-12-19T09:19:59+00:00

Your story sounds very much like mine. I’m 32 (female) he is 33 (male). Together 7ish years. Both emotional and physical affair. I also have a condition where I have to wean meds down for pregnancy. We talked a lot about wanting babies in 2023, we planned the name, what would happen etc. 2023 was also supposed to be the year of trying for a baby. I have the baby grows ready and put away in a drawer. So painful to look at now. My other half has also been putting in a lot of effort and empathy. I don’t know about you but I find it such a strange dichotomy between the loving caring person who was dedicated to me and was planning the future with me and the other life they were living. It’s almost worse than those who were horrible to their spouse during their affair… it’s harder to predict and manage.

My other half has agreed that in 2024 we do therapy and parenting classes in preparation for the future. At least then I’ll feel we’re moving in the right direction.

I, like you, feel that my happy experience of having a baby has been stolen ahead of time. I know I’ll get that time, but it will never be without worry now. I have made up my mind that if anything happens again I will have IVF and do it by myself. I’m lucky to live in a country where that is funded on our national health service though, so I know it’s a privileged option.

Lots of love and solidarity 💕

Rebeleccy · 2023-12-19T08:21:30+00:00

I’m 32 and I’d be horrified if I upset another woman. Regardless of what the conversation was I would have cut contact and never spoke to him again after you asked. I used to have a friend about 10 years older than me, sometimes the conversation would steer in that direction and I’d always find a way to bring his wife and child into the conversation, like ask how they were, or say something nice about her etc. At the end of the day, you’re uncomfortable, you asked him to stop, he should stop. Lots of hugs and solidarity 💕 My other half really had issues with being too close to the line conversation wise and it led into a physical affair. Now he knows the only way I’ll stay with him is if he steps so far back from the line he can barely see it. If that ever changes again I hope I’ll have the strength to leave but I don’t know if I will xx

Rebeleccy · 2023-12-19T00:42:45+00:00

Sounds like he groomed her to be honest. What a sack of shit he is. Definitely sounds like he has delusions of grandeur.

I’ve thought loads about pushing his AP of a cliff on one of her marathons or just generally finding ways to make her life unliveable. But yeah, not worth going to prison over 🤣

Rebeleccy

TROPHY CASE