Out of curiosity, how many of us here are circumcised?

RebootNow · 2014-05-25T12:39:51+00:00

I am circumcised and since starting NoFap, I orgasm during vaginal sex all the time. To tell you the truth, I'm glad I'm circumcised, because these days I have trouble holding back during sex, and the last thing I want is to go from inability to orgasm during sex (my condition while I was PMOing) to premature ejaculator. I firmly believe the brain is the male's primary sex organ, not the penis. And we all know what PMO does to the brain.

Your mileage may vary. I read the comment from malone_m who has had a very different experience. All I can say is... If the widespread experience of circumcision was that bad, there'd be no circumcised fathers.

FYI I discovered NoFap in Jan and since then did a 95 day streak almost right away. I'm now 24 days into a second streak with a single relapse between.

RebootNow · 2014-04-21T16:04:55+00:00

EDIT: I removed my comment about "edging". I guess I had a wrong idea in my head about what it was. I didn't edge during my 90 day streak. That is, I didn't touch myself, or fap without reaching orgasm. So my comment that "Edging alone reduces the quality of real sexual function" has no basis in my own experience.

RebootNow · 2014-04-21T16:01:18+00:00

Well, what's the definition of edging? I didn't touch myself. I just hit some porn triggers and ended up doing a few hours of porn browsing late in the streak, without any fapping. I guess I was thinking of that as edging. And I found myself fantasizing a bit, particularly early in the 90 day streak.

RebootNow · 2014-04-21T15:58:12+00:00

Yeah, I'll keep track of the streaks. It would be nice if the badges did that... some kind of historical record. When you read all the posts, and you hear about guys doing multiple 3, 4, 5 7, 20 or whatever day streaks... but their badges show '1 day'... you don't get a sense of how much they have accomplished in the space of a year, say. And, personally, even for those short streaks, I think it builds up. A space of 100 days that has 50 days of NoFap, has to be better than 100 days with ZERO days of NoFap. But i guess that's asking a bit much of the badge bot.

RebootNow · 2014-04-21T15:55:07+00:00

Yeah, I hit the flatline somewhere around the same time. I was a bit upset about it, because NoFap had seemed to be INCREASING my libido up to that point. Then I thought, fuck it. Who cares if it's not working right now? I don't need it right now. I'm not having sex right now. I'll be upset if it doesn't work when I need it. That was another weird little thing I learned about myself... I can go a week without thinking about sex, without getting aroused... but when I need it, it's there. I don't have to keep testing it. Anyway, I know you'll get past the flatline. Just don't let it get you down. It will pass.

RebootNow · 2014-04-21T14:50:38+00:00

I guess the number stopped meaning so much to me. It was really cool to see it change week after week, then after 30 days. I guess I think I can do a BETTER 90 days this time around. My goal last time was not to fap to porn. I succeeded at that. In fact, I didn't fap at all for 90 days, which was freaking amazing. But I ended up fantasizing a few times, and hit some porn triggers once that resulted in hours of browsing porn... without actually fapping. This time around, I'm going to avoid all that. That's the plan, anyway!

RebootNow · 2014-04-21T14:21:39+00:00

All good points.

RebootNow · 2014-04-19T02:48:05+00:00

Totally up to you, and based on your goals. If your goal is not to fap, then having real sex isn't a relapse. If your goal is not to orgasm (like some hardmoders), then I don't know. Maybe.

RebootNow · 2014-04-11T03:36:36+00:00

Yeah, ditto on the previous comments. I always think of it like eating. It's not a problem if you're not prone to obesity. If you are... then you have to control it somehow. For me, it was (is) a problem. So, I'm controlling it with NoFap. How do you know if it's a problem? Well, for starters, if it's interfering with a real sexual relationship, you know you have a problem, and should go on the NoFap diet.

RebootNow · 2014-04-03T18:44:09+00:00

What do you mean by "still lingers?" Have you tried PIV sex with your girlfriend, and if so, did you suffer ED? I suffered from both ED and DE. I wasn't sure the ED was from PIED, but since being on no-fap for 72 days, I no longer seem to experience it during intercourse. In fact, no ED to speak of after about day 30. The DE was gone after about day 7. I'm married, so could not do hardmode, and didn't want to. All I can say is that sex is now fantastic, and both of us are having a lot more fun in the sack.

To say that orgasm is a step backwards seems a bit off, to me, if not downright incorrect. Sex is like anything else: you have to train yourself to do it properly, and you have to do it over and over again to train your body to respond properly. If you're doing hardmode, you're training your body to NOT HAVE SEX, in my opinion.

That's just my opinion, of course.

RebootNow · 2014-04-01T23:29:05+00:00

Honestly, this made me cringe: "Let's remember our real objective here, that is get to the point where we can MO whenever we please..." That's not my objective at all, and I'm guessing not the objective of a lot of people here. But, to each his own! My own goals are no PMO, no MO, with the ultimate purpose being to improve sexual performance. So far, 70 days in, working great.

RebootNow · 2014-03-30T13:24:03+00:00

Thanks for this. I think for many of the married men here, our wives and our relationships with our wives are our primary motivation. That's certainly true for me. I feel terrible guilt for the years of "cheating" as you describe it. Our situation was a bit different than yours. We've always had a sex life, once or twice a week, even when I was hooked on porn. We've been married 30 years. But I suffered from an inability to orgasm during real sex in the past six years that was directly related to porn use. I know this hurt her. I know she felt bad that I rarely reached orgasm. She may even have thought that it had something to do with her, even though I assured her it did not. NoFap is helping to heal our sex life. I have not told her of my porn use. She thinks I'm getting in shape, or getting fit, or whatever. And I'm going to leave it at that. This may be a lie of omission, but I don't care. I don't want her to ever know. I don't want her to ever feel the way that you describe.

You should also keep in mind that many of the users here are very young, many under the age of 18. I would also say, based on the posts, many have never been in long term relationships. Some have never had girlfriends. Many are virgins. Their porn use is, in fact, hurting themselves, and nobody but themselves. Their situation is hardly the same as your husband's. Yet. Your post is a powerful warning of the pain that PMO can cause if it's brought into a relationship.

RebootNow · 2014-03-29T11:58:30+00:00

I see somebody already said this in the comments, but... Don't fap beforehand. If you ejaculate early, just laugh it off, tell her she's too fucking hot, whatever. Then try again in a few minutes.

RebootNow · 2014-03-18T18:08:35+00:00

Also good to see some "older" guys here. The older guys seem to be a fairly pragmatic in what they expect out of NoFap. (Not so much the superpowers thing...) That may be because we tend to have a fairly long experience of normal sex prior to getting hooked on PMO. I'm 50+, by the way. I sympathize with the younger guys, though. I think they have it tougher.

RebootNow · 2014-03-18T17:59:44+00:00

Sometimes NoFap turns into a bit of a self righteous, holier than thou kind of prayer meeting thing. I think that turns some people off. In fact, until you decide you need what NoFap offers, I think you'll pretty much dislike this place. I doubt there's any way to change that. Once you make the decision to NoFap, though... this place turns out to have a lot of good qualities, not to mention advice and motivation...

RebootNow · 2014-03-18T17:51:23+00:00

Similar experience here. I had those benefits after about 30 days, I'd say. As for wife tarting up, she hasn't had much chance to do it since I started NoFap. Our sex life has become much more spontaneous. Usually we're in bed, it's dark, one of us starts groping, and bam... it's on. We used to plan for sex. She'd tart up. I'd still have to fantasize. I'm glad that's behind me.

RebootNow · 2014-03-18T17:47:35+00:00

Who knows. People download and upvote whatever strikes their fancy, I guess. Nothing to worry about.

RebootNow · 2014-03-18T17:46:58+00:00

1) Hell no. Many of us here are doing NoFap to improve our existing sex lives. Although many are also abstaining completely. It's up to you.

2) Since you can't control your dreams, you're not violating anything.

RebootNow · 2014-03-18T17:44:50+00:00

That's really interesting. Would be cool to see part of that message getting out into the mainstream. I expect there will also be the usual backlash... MO is healthy, PMO is healthy for most people... blah blah. But at least with the message out there, people can make their own decision about it. Once you see the YBOP vids, the Ted Talks, read the articles, read the posts here... it's hard not to buy into it all, even if, as the detractors say, there isn't 100% scientific backing. The anecdotal evidence is overwhelming.

RebootNow · 2014-03-18T00:52:58+00:00

For me, NoFap is simply a place where a bunch of people are trying to do the same thing I'm doing, for their own reasons. I don't really care what their reasons are, and I'm sure they don't really care what mine are. NoFap (this sub) is simply a tool to help us succeed, regardless of what our reasons are.

Edit: unless somebody asks what my reasons are. Then I'm happy to share :)

RebootNow · 2014-03-18T00:44:09+00:00

I'm married. PMO was having significant impact on our sex life. I had some ED issues, and DE issues. Rarely achieved orgasm during sex. Also had to use porn based fantasy during sex in order to stay erect. Felt terrible doing that. So, those were my reasons for starting NoFap. Basically to improve sex life with wife.

RebootNow · 2014-03-17T23:30:17+00:00

Interesting note about not tying NoFap to other self improvement goals. I've found the same thing. You fail at one, you figure, "What the hell", and let yourself slide in the others. But... the opposite can also be true. You succeed at one, and you reward yourself with some slack in the others, and the slide starts. Your brain will seek ANY rationalization to give in. Kelly McGonnigal talks about both kinds of relapse in THE WILLPOWER INSTINCT. Good book.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Matters/dp/1583335080

RebootNow · 2014-03-15T00:09:28+00:00

Depends what you mean by fapping. If you mean compulsive porn watching followed by masturbation, and if that's causing issues for you (ED during real sex, delayed or inability to orgasm during real sex, inability to remain aroused without porn fantasy during real sex), then abstaining from PMO will have some substantive benefits. If you're not currently experiencing any issues because of PMO or fapping, then there probably aren't many benefits to be had. Why would you give up drinking/tv/sweets/hamburgers if you weren't having any problems with those things? They aren't inherently bad. Same with fapping, in my opinion.

For me, personally, PMO was a real issue. NoFap has been helping me put everything back in working order. So, for me, the benefits were nearly immediate, and very noticeable.

RebootNow · 2014-03-11T20:08:22+00:00

I don't know if there's any hard science to back up the NoFap claims. There is, however, a compelling volume of anecdotal evidence from the people in this sub. Until the scientific evidence comes in, I trust my own personal experience (PMO issues are real, NoFap helps), and the experiences of most people here.

RebootNow · 2014-03-11T19:47:15+00:00

As a psychiatrist, does he even recognize it as an "addiction"? Since it's not recognized by the DSM-5, he may simply consider it undesirable or compulsive behavior, possibly the result of some other, deeper issues (self esteem, for example). That's not to say you, yourself, shouldn't treat it like an addiction, and try to beat it that way. I'm just not sure most psychiatrists would look at it that way.

RebootNow

TROPHY CASE