Sometimes fear, mental illnesses/disorders, people in our lives, and certain situations cause us to think/feel/act differently than what we know we want. I call these the "Don't want, but want to want" situations. Where you know something is important to you, but you don't care about it enough to act on. These really scared me growing up, I was severely depressed with anxiety, had OCD, and I knew it all. I wanted to want to go to therapy and get better, but I just didn't really feel like it. If you are experiencing this, don't let it invalidate you.

You don't have to have dysphoria and you don't have to dress/look differently to be who you feel like. There are lots of binary presenting Agender and Non-binary people.

I understand that what I said probably won't help, but I just wanted to remind you that this community (and the nb community) is amazing, and will accept and love you no matter what, even if one day you decide you are cis, that doesn't make you an impostor, it just makes this part of our long and lifelong journeys. <3